helping 3yo over fear of public bathrooms

[SweetPotato]

My 3yo dd is completely potty trained (including nights)-- but we're running into issues with her not wanting to use public bathrooms. She's okay at the mall, where they have a child-size toilet in the family restroom, but today we went out of town for the day and she wouldn't use the bathroom for anything! Granted, the kid managed to hold it for several hours (longer than I could have!)- but I'd sure feel better about long outings and such if I wasn't worrying about actually getting all the way home for her to pee. Any ideas? I was thining there might be some really cool foldable kids seat that I could carry in my bag and then put over the toilet seat for her (though she rarely uses her little potty seat at home anymore) Do I just have to wait it out, for however long that might take??

[Bug-a-Boo's Mama]

I know for a fact that TRU does sell the foldable seat for a toilet. What about having a potty in the car for her to use? Have you tried having her sit backwards on the toilet? Might make her feel more comfortable. I did this with K at first, but it is a pain to remove at least one left of bottoms and underwear.

[meemee]

my dd at 3 was totally afraid of the public restrooms for totally different reasons. its the flush. esp. the automatic flush. too loud and tooo scary for her. i would hold a piece of paper in front of the automatic and then send her out and she would get near the wash basins cover her ears and then yell at me to flush. she told me they really really hurt her ears.

if your dd is frightened of falling in (if that is the fear) then the portable sounds great.

does she do it at other people's houses too - or is it only at public restrooms.

explore and see if it is the sound issue. when my dd had the sound issue even at friends she had a flush issue - only those who had loud flushes. she went out and then i flushed.

i know many parents (depends on the kind of car you are driving) use a portable potty in the back where they can go in and use it in the back.

[Purple Cat]

I think trying to talk to her and identify the exact source of her fear would be a necessary first step. It may be hard for her to reflect on her experience and give an answer. You may a more productive conversation next time you go out in public.

My daughter was scared of the "air confreshner" in the toilet. You know, that little tube that pipes in "air freshner." Once I identified that was the source, I just started removing that little tube.

I also have discovered we really have to cover teh auto-flush mechanism. It kind of flips me out, too, to unexpectedly be flushed before I'm finished.

Smell was another issue. My daughter has sensory issues and is highly sensitive to smells. A bathroom that may seem okay to me will in her words, "smell so bad" that she will scream in the hallway that she won't use it. It's a little embarrassing to explain at the physical therapist's office that we have to use the staff's bathroom because their seemingly nice bathroom in a modern office building is intolerable to my daughter.

HTH

[momof2kiddos]

I have the same issue with my daughter but it was because she was scared of the auto flush toliets. So now I Cover the auto flush with my finger or tp before she sits down so the it does not flush before we want it to. Not that I have conviced her that she will not get flushed down she is starting to use them more.

MP

[staceychev]

Yeah, my daughter is afraid of "The Big Flush," as she calls it. I open the door, send her out to the sinks and then flush.

[SweetPotato]

Okay, so I know that it started with an auto-flush toilet--- we both remember that incident. But now it's carried over and she WILL not even try in a public bathroom. I totally bribed her into finally going at the airport before finally boarding our very late flight-- and I showed her how I covered the sensor and it didn't flush and all was well. But it's like she hasn't carried that memory over at all-- won't even try the ones that aren't auto-flush---- and this is all with me letting her go out to the sinks before I flush (but we do have to be careful there, too, because sh'es also afraid of the air hand-dryers-- too loud) Any more thoughts on specifically how I can help her get over and past this? We try not to do bribes, but part of me is starting to feel like maybe a little "treat" to look forward to after using the public potty could be enough little motivator to get her to at least try it enough to realize that it's not going to be scary every time. ?