I already know...

[2lilsweetfoxes]

My husband is going to insist that either I take a bottle to church or I go elsewhere to feed the baby if she wants a snack during Sunday school/services during the time before I'm comfy enough to leave her in the nursery (at least the first month). I don't want to miss anything, though. At the same time, we are fairly new to the church, been attending about a year, and don't want to "offend" anyone. We really like the church and it has a great program for families with special needs kids. It is hard enough to find a program that has a special program for special-needs kids (our son is autistic) instead of just putting them in the infant room or telling parents to deal with it (some families do by switching weeks on attendance for the parents or mom goes to first service and dad attends second or they just don't go to church at all...) and the fact it happened to be our denomination--Southern Baptist--was a plus, especially in the Tacoma, Washington, area where we live.

[asunlitrose]

:/ I'm sorry.

What about all those beautiful paintings of Mary feeding baby Jesus? Can't you say you're following after her?

[SpiderMum]

I would kick him...then remind him that Jesus was breastfed. Saying that it is not okay to breastfeed in church is the same as saying that there is something wrong with God's design for feeding our children.

[NoliMum]

A. Other members of the congregation will have their eyes on the pulpit, not on what you and your baby are doing. (Unless they are nosy busy bodies.)

B. Jesus was breastfed.

C. God sees everything, no? Why hide it in "His house"?

D. Lactation is next to godliness, in my opinon.

E. If this church doesn't accept you and your family, find another church.

F. If your husband is ashamed of you and your baby in church, find another husband.

G. Just skip the whole church thing all together and read the Bible as a family, at home.

[Healthy_Baby]

Originally Posted by NoliMum

G. Just skip the whole church thing all together and read the Bible as a family, at home.

church is not just about reading the bible, it's about fellowship with like-minded people and spiritual encouragement. so I imagine this option is out.

you might find out if there is a nursing room - either near the nursery or auditorium - with audio of the music and speaking.

when my LO was new he made so little noise i could easily sit in the back and nurse discreetly. one he got older 6-7 months nursing could get noiser (i'm talking major slurping sounds!) so we moved on to the nursery.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by SpiderMum

I would kick him...then remind him that Jesus was breastfed. Saying that it is not okay to breastfeed in church is the same as saying that there is something wrong with God's design for feeding our children.

[elizaMM]

Originally Posted by 2lilsweetfoxes

My husband is going to insist that either I take a bottle to church or I go elsewhere to feed the baby if she wants a snack during Sunday school/services

I'd suggest you go ahead and insist right back at him that you and your baby will do whatever you please.

You do need to weigh how important it is to you to be accepted at that church though. Only you can decide if its worth it. I bet there are plenty of people at the church that would back you up though. Its really amazing how the support can come out of the woodwork at times. Where are you, geographically?

Here's my favorite response:

Asking to hide breastfeeding implies that the mother and baby are engaging in a shameful or distasteful act when, in fact, the baby is simply eating. To consent to hiding would imply that you agree it is shameful or distasteful when, in fact, you think its fabulous and more people need to see it so that it will no longer be perceived that way. inspired by www.firstright.org

[dogmom327]

He insists? Very foolish of him. You'll need to remind him that you are making your child's needs the priority: eating 1.) from the best source and a mom who is not stressed out because she had to deal with a bottle, etc. and 2.) at the moment he/she needs to eat, not when you can steal away for a few minutes. He is being selfish. Not a good trait in a father. DH and I had a similar run in when DS was 4 mo old. I told him he was being selfish and putting his needs above his child's and that I wouldn't stand for it. I then proceeded to pop down in the middle of the mall and fed DS.

[Britishmum]

If my dh tried insisting on something like that, I'd smile at him sweetly, and tell him, "I hear what you are saying and appreciate your concerns. But I've thought about this, and have decided that I will nurse in church, and here are my reasons (fill in the blank.)" Then I'd continue with something like, "now, what would you like for dinner tonight?", so letting him know that the subject was not up for discussion.

[MovingMomma]

OP, if you are sure about your DH's feelings even w/out discussing it, then I'd suggest nursing in a sling w/out leaving the service. No one ever had a clue when I did this. And maybe your DH wouldn't even notice.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Originally Posted by MovingMomma

OP, if you are sure about your DH's feelings even w/out discussing it, then I'd suggest nursing in a sling w/out leaving the service. No one ever had a clue when I did this. And maybe your DH wouldn't even notice.

The sling is probably the best idea. There are no pews, just chairs set up in the sanctuary. He was appalled at me even considering nursing in church or in front of anyone from church with our first. Kinda funny that my commander and chaplain had walked in on me in the hospital during a feeding session with dd. By the time he got back from Iraq, our second was almost 4 months old and stayed in the nursery.

[Lizbiz]

Hey Momma, Where is his opposition coming from? How did you handle this with your other two little ones? My first gut reaction, was along the lines of the other posters - just tell him that you're not planning on following his (foolish and somewhat ignorant) request, but then I thought, well, wait - where's it coming from? Any previous experience with this? Bad experiences? Maybe he's just embarrassed himself and needs to work through it. It's not easy to nurse a little one in the middle of the pew - I got pretty good at it over time though, especially with my husband's help. If he's willing to help (adjust blankets, hold accessories, etc) that should minimize whatever small distraction may occur as a result. But, if you have to deal with his opposition, and you feel the least bit flustered yourself, it won't be a fun experience for you.

I would really imagine that most people in your church wouldn't even think twice about you nursing a hungry infant at church. I nurse my baby (now 16 months) at church ALL THE TIME. If anyone is concerned, they haven't mentioned it. If they did, I probably wouldn't care.

Good luck, and don't just give in - husbands can be a bit well, particular about some things sometimes. But don't bit his head off - give him the benefit of the doubt and try to talk about it more.

[cappuccinosmom]

I fed my baby in services for quite a while--until I flashed someone. Nobody said anything to me but it compromised my personal comfort/modesty, so I started using the nursing room. Our church has a closed-circuit TV and comfy rockers in there so I can still hear the sermon and singing.

With tiny babies, I really think most people are totally clueless anyway. For me, by the time a baby is old enough for it to become a problem, he's also old enough to be distractable and wiggly and using the nursing room is as much for our benefit as anyone else's.

[alegna]

Tell him HE can nurse wherever he wants. But as long as it's your boobs, it's between you and the baby

-Angela

[FernG]

When DD was small, nursing in church was no problem! She was a pretty quiet nurser for the first few months - only people within a few seats around us could hear her. She would fall asleep on my lap. I wore clothes that were easy to nurse in. I even had men come up and touch her head and not realize what was going on for a few minutes. As far as I know, I was the first person to nurse in the pews at this church.

When DD started to nurse loudly, I felt like her noises were a distraction to other worshipers. If she was in a noisy mood, I would go to the back room where the service was played over a speaker. The noise and not the nursing caused me to switch locations.

I wouldn't start a big argument about what you are going to do. Go out other places with your DH and nurse in a way that helps him be comfortable. That's what helped my DH be comfortable with me nursing in the pews. It helped a lot to say things like, "Thank you for sitting next to me while I was nursing. It helped me be confident knowing that you were supporting me." or "I knew that if the waitress said that I shouldn't NIP, you would stick up for me. I was so relaxed knowing that I wasn't alone." Now he is a huge lactivist. He's always educating other men and nurses and doctors about why babies need to nurse on demand and the benefits of breastmilk. If I had told him, "this is how it's gona be..." instead of helping him become comfortable with NIP and thanking him for his support, then he would resent nursing instead of being a huge advocate for mothers and babies. You know your DH, and you know the best way to help him be comfortable.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by NoliMum

A. Other members of the congregation will have their eyes on the pulpit, not on what you and your baby are doing. (Unless they are nosy busy bodies.)

B. Jesus was breastfed.

C. God sees everything, no? Why hide it in "His house"?

D. Lactation is next to godliness, in my opinon.

E. If this church doesn't accept you and your family, find another church.

F. If your husband is ashamed of you and your baby in church, find another husband.

G. Just skip the whole church thing all together and read the Bible as a family, at home.

: to all of it!

[Sagesgirl]

The Blessed Mother most certainly breastfed Jesus. I cannot see other than that I should try to follow her example (remember too that Jesus chided His disciples for trying to move the children out of His presence). I've breastfed all of my children in the Sanctuary, & left the one church where it was suggested I go to the nursery.

Just in general...I would not go to a church that did not accept me. It's that simple. Jesus did not send prostitutes away from Him, or even the Pharisees...to think that any church would decide it knows better than the One they are supposed to be following who's allowed to hear the Word...Nuh-uh. Doesn't work for me.

[Carita]

Originally Posted by SpiderMum

I would kick him...then remind him that Jesus was breastfed. Saying that it is not okay to breastfeed in church is the same as saying that there is something wrong with God's design for feeding our children.

i love this!

btw - my son ALWAYS wants to feed during church

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by Sagesgirl

Just in general...I would not go to a church that did not accept me. It's that simple. Jesus did not send prostitutes away from Him, or even the Pharisees...to think that any church would decide it knows better than the One they are supposed to be following who's allowed to hear the Word...Nuh-uh. Doesn't work for me.

Amen!!!

[thepeach80]

I'll be the odd one I guess, I've never fed the kids in service, I always leave and go to the nursery usually. I just know the older men in the church would be uncomfortable w/ it if they noticed it in service, just b/c, nothing against bfing. We're a very bfing church and I'm sure really no one would care or notice and I bf openly at church functions, so I'm not sure why the actual service is different for me. lol We have an overflow seating section now b/c we don't have enough seats and I'd probably be o.k. there after baby and I get the hang of bfing, those first few wks are pretty showy IME! It's kind of a nice break to run to the nursery though and chat w/ the moms who are working there for the little time I need to feed baby. Eventually baby will go to the nursery and they'll just page me when she needs to eat and I'll have to leave service then anyways.