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Watch Us Commit Financial Suicide... - Page 2

post #21 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by avendesora View Post
That depends on what kind of a spender her DH is. If she's the money-manager of the family, saving on her airfare but then letting him spend unchaperoned might end up costing more. Snacks and lunches at SeaWorld, etc.

Aven
I have to laugh at this one. That would Sooo happen in our family.
Last year we went to FL for 10 days, and rented a car, and ooh - I just looked it up, it was $385 for 10 days. You got a good deal.
This is a useless post - I thought it was much less. We did wait until the last min. to reserve it and the cost kept going down each day or so as we got closer.
Good luck. I'd probably go for it by the way. We are in a similar predicament regarding a wedding of some very close friends. It's out of state, and with airfare, cabs to and from the airport, tux rental, gift, etc, we will be out of pocket over $1,000. And that's with staying at a rental house with family and leaving the kids here with my in-laws. This is a destination wedding for everyone, and it makes me MAD that they expect everyone to just suck it up and go along with it. But anyhow....we can't really afford it either but are putting the relationship first. (Groom is dd's godfather, etc)
post #22 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by avendesora View Post
That depends on what kind of a spender her DH is. If she's the money-manager of the family, saving on her airfare but then letting him spend unchaperoned might end up costing more. Snacks and lunches at SeaWorld, etc.

Aven
Sorry. Dh and I are 100% on the same financial page so things like this do not even enter my mind.
post #23 of 92
You can back out. You can. I'm sure your ils will be disappointed, but if they could read your post, surely they would understand. Could you tell them exactly what you wrote? I can't imagine parents not being able to understand something like that. Won't they be able to enjoy the vacation even if they're disappointed that you're not there?

ETA: If it were me, I wouldn't go. I'd be really, really apologetic, but I wouldn't go. This is a vacation, not a home, food, clothing, medical care. Thank goodness.
post #24 of 92
Dude, liberate yourself from the burden of this supposed vacation. It's not like you'd be able to enjoy yourselves anyway. They will forgive you, and honestly, most parents would want to see their adult children choosing financial responsibility over a vacation any day.
post #25 of 92
You are going to Orlando? Why not go over to the orlando tribe area and see what you can dig up for free/cheap to do. Daytona Beach is close by and its fabulous. (Or even better, New Smyrna Beach is less crowded and touristy. )

:-)
post #26 of 92
I would definitely skip Sea World. Let the ILs know that things are extremely tight financially, and that's why you have to skip Sea World this time. Even if you don't go to Sea World, you still get to relax and enjoy time with family. Maybe the ILs will offer to pay for the (older?) kids to go to the park with them and you and DH can get a break at the resort.

When my family goes to DisneyWorld, we don't get tickets to the park for every day. Half the time we just hang out and walk around the grounds and spend time with our family and relax.

And you CAN always back out completely, even though it would be difficult. Bottom line is, you're going to have to level with your ILs whether you like it or not-- because you won't be able to hide the fact that you have NO discretionary budget once you're there.
post #27 of 92
Anyway your ILs could front the money and you pay them back when things are better?

Try Priceline name your own price for the rental. I once got a 2 week midsize rental for about $10ish/day.
post #28 of 92
Just a couple thoughts:

Could you share a car rental with your Inlaws? We did this with my folks on a trip to CO for a wedding. A minivan for the week was cheaper than two sedans.

Is the $200 for groceries extra or what you would normally spend at home? Maybe you could skimp a little...

I'd skip Sea World for the week. Maybe go one or two days and then find other things to do. AAA books often list local parks or hiking/nature trails that you could do. Or take a drive to the beach or bring some games and books and hang out by the pool.
post #29 of 92
you have no emergency fund
you have car troubles
your dh is a student
you only have 50 til payday.
you already owe money
the trip will put you on the financial edge
you can't afford this vacation.

For me its simple, sorry Mom and Dad, we blew it this year. Tons of unexpected issues have come up and we simply can't afford to join you at your time share. We do want to pay our share of the rent so you're not out of pocket but we simply can't afford to do the trip with all the extras (plane, entertainment, food etc). We love you and we are very sorry. Repeat as much as necessary but stay firm. Don't mortgage your future by touching your 401, taking a loan or going deeper into debt for this.

oh and edited to add, do your ils have anyone who could take your place? Siblings, friends, etc?
post #30 of 92
If the vacation will really be financial suicide then don't go. You will hate every minute of it and will regret it later.

Tell them you are sorry but unless they can help you out financially you will not be able to go.

I'm so sorry.
post #31 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by mhurst View Post
Tell them you are sorry but unless they can help you out financially you will not be able to go.
I agree with the sentiment but I really wouldn't say that. It sounds like you're holding your cap out for a donation - heck, more than that, actually demanding one.. If they want to suggest helping out on their own, that's fine, but I would never bring it up.

Another option, OP, is to simply discuss it with them even if you haven't made up your mind. I wouldn't let them think for a second that it's their decision, but simply invite their input. For all you know they might let you off the hook and maybe even have a friend or someone in mind to take your place. On the other hand it might be a big deal to them, but even then - you'll have more information on which to base your decision.

I do think you guys blew it by booking it when you didn't have the money in hand. But I also see that you learned that indeed, life happens. So in discussing with the in-laws, I would acknowledge that you guys blew it (so they don't feel like you just ditched them and didn't even think about how it could affect them) but also say that you've decided that it is best for the family to do damage control rather than throw it all away based on your original mistake. Mistakes happen. The worst that happens, unless I'm missing something, is that they have a quiet vacation to themselves. Depending on the couple, that might indeed suck (for me and DH it would be a blessing, lol) but compared with "financial suicide" for you guys, it's clear who has more to lose.
post #32 of 92
No way... no money means no vacation. Not a fun message to deliver but that does not change the fact that this would not be a good move.
post #33 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Another option, OP, is to simply discuss it with them even if you haven't made up your mind. I wouldn't let them think for a second that it's their decision, but simply invite their input.

<snip>

So in discussing with the in-laws, I would acknowledge that you guys blew it (so they don't feel like you just ditched them and didn't even think about how it could affect them) but also say that you've decided that it is best for the family to do damage control rather than throw it all away based on your original mistake. Mistakes happen.
I was thinking this too. It might be best to just level with them, say "we messed up" and "this is where we are now" and invite their input as you make this decision. Hopefully they would appreciate your humility and honesty. Of course, I don't know them. Good luck!
post #34 of 92
The fact that you titled this post with the words financial suicide in it tells me that you know what you need to do. It's not pleasant, but the fact is you simply can not afford this vacation.

I would tell the inlaws that you're very sorry, but a lot of unforseen financial setbacks have occurred and you simply can not afford to go.

I think it would be a really, really bad move on your part to take the vacation and leave yourselves open to financial disaster. Anything could happen once you get back from vacation that would cost a bit of money and you'd have no way to pay for it.
post #35 of 92
Lots of advice here and my first thought (Don't go) has been well covered. LOL

I see someone suggested not renting a car. Can you do this? Can your inlaws pick you up at the airport and do the driving? Can you bring snacky-type things and "add water" things in your suitcase (like oatmeal for b'fast or soup) and homemade dessert so you aren't tempted to spend more on food?
post #36 of 92
Oh, I just wanted to add, if you do decide to go (though I really, really think you shouldn't) instead of a week long pass at seaworld, you may want to see about city hopper passes or whatever they're called there. You may be able to get passes to several attractions for about the same price.

I have a sea world membership, and I don't go all the time. I can't imagine finding something to do there for a whole week!
post #37 of 92
[QUOTE=mtm;12882383]you have no emergency fund
you have car troubles
your dh is a student
you only have 50 til payday.
you already owe money
the trip will put you on the financial edge
you can't afford this vacation.

QUOTE]

That sums it up. If you don't have the money, don't go.
post #38 of 92
When you get to FL buy a fun pass. You pay for one day but can come back all year free (or week in your case). It may even be available online. Seriously though, I don't know what you would find to do at Seaworld for a whole week. Other than that, take a shuttle from the airport to the hotel and skip thee rental car.
post #39 of 92
Would you want them to pay for it if they offered? In your in laws situation, is that an option?

A lot of people are having a really tough time right now. They might not be surprized/shocked/angry that you can't do this now. If you had lost your job would they still expect you to do this? (Just to say--times are tough, just because you are not unemployed doesn't mean that you are not affected by the current economy)

If it's a time share, were they planning on using it anyway--do you really need to feel guilty that they are going without you--is this condo a place they don't normally use? So many variables--I can appreciate the bind you are in.

I second the idea of asking them to pick you up at the airport. Or could you rent a van for your family and your inlaws, and they could pay for that? To me, vacations and time with family is important--I wouldn't want to go into debt over a vacation but...again, I appreciate the bind you are in on this.
post #40 of 92
Quote:
For me its simple, sorry Mom and Dad, we blew it this year. Tons of unexpected issues have come up and we simply can't afford to join you at your time share. We do want to pay our share of the rent so you're not out of pocket but we simply can't afford to do the trip with all the extras (plane, entertainment, food etc). We love you and we are very sorry. Repeat as much as necessary but stay firm. Don't mortgage your future by touching your 401, taking a loan or going deeper into debt for this.
This, especially the bolded part, is what I was thinking. If I were in your shoes, and I committed to pay for my family's share of what the other vacationers have already committed to so no one is out money because of my decision not to go, I would leave the situation feeling 100% guilt free - even if my decision caused strife.

You didn't chose to have these things happen and to have to sit out the vacation. You're just trying to be responsible with what life's handed you this month. No shame in that!
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