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I know that TECHNICALLY a 9 wk old is a minor... - Page 3

post #41 of 52
***HUGS*** Sorry your night was ruined. :
post #42 of 52
Originally Posted by eirual View Post
Not in your DDC either, but wanted to let you know that I'm with you. I think it's entirely reasonable to take a babe out to celebrate (responsibly of course). They're part of society too, no matter how much some people might like to pretend that they're not. I've totally gone to pubs with DS and do think of them as family friendly, espeically when they're just going to sleep snuggled up in a wrap or something of the like anyhow.

Em, that really sucks! I'm sorry you didn't get to have the fun evening you were anticipating.
post #43 of 52
Em, I just wanted to offer you some s. I am so sorry that your evening was ruined.

When Calli was 2 weeks old I took her to an event which included drunk adults (not me or anyone at our table), live, loud music, dancing, drinking etc. It wasn't at a bar or nightclub but still. No one said a thing to me.

I have also taken her in a lounge and not had anyone say anything to me, and into a resteraunt/bar in the restraunt area and we all had drinks...including me (I had one).

Have a drink with supper is the way we live our life and I will not hide my daughter in a corner for years and pretend that drinking doesn't exist. If more people would be responsible for their actions and actually teach their children right from wrong instead of sheltering them..............
post #44 of 52
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the support gals! Dh and friends actually came back and we had a whispered "Happy New Years!" at midnight and it made me feel loved. Then they went back out to the bars!

I didn't realize this would be such a hot topic. Pubs around here are usually very family friendly with the whole family attending to eat, have a pint or two and listen to (often live) music. I do think it was b/c it was NYE that they decided no infants and it was rather shocking. Guess they were looking to make their pub a different environment for that night, which is disappointing, b/c I think families should have a place to go on NYE too.

Thanks annettemarie for leaving it in my DDC, it was indeed meant as just a vent.
post #45 of 52
Personally, the loud music would keep me from bring a LO w/ me...

BUT, if there is any minor found in a bar/pub after a certain time, that restaurant could have their liquor license revoked. A 9 week old would count. Where I used to work, it was 9 pm on weeknights, 10 pm on weekends.
post #46 of 52
Originally Posted by Triciabn View Post
out at a bar the other night.... not New years eve, but still.
There was a man there with a wee baby... and it creeped me out.
Everytime I turned to the right I would see this little baby and think a million "Momma thoughts"....
"is the music too loud"
"Is that door causing a draft for the baby"
"are we being too loud"
"What is that guy with the baby trying to prove by dragging that baby here...that he is still hip?"
"Wouldn't that baby be happier being cozy at home"
"I bet that baby is getting so overstimulated"
Why is that baby here"
"why can't that baby be at home"
and I just asked the other women in the room who were there the other night and they all said it was just weird to see a baby out in a bar...creepy.
Now I have a ton of kids and everyone in this room is fine with all the kid activity here... but they all agreed that the baby in the bar was weird.
Just the opinions of one room.. not indicative to your area.
just my 2cents.
^I have to say I have felt this myself.
I worked as a bartender both here in LA and NYC for over 10 years and to me, a bar isn't a place for babies. I know it is the law here in LA. At the last bar gig I worked, it was at a classy French restaurant where families could come and the lounge was where people could eat and drink too. As a rule, no children after 9 pm in lounge and no children at the bar ever.
The law aside, when places get busy and crowded esp. on a holiday and people get rowdy, someone can accidentally bump a baby or knock them with their elbow( I have seen this once in a French bistro late at night as a patron- babe was in a carrier). Maybe I sound kinda prudish but when I was there and saw this very young baby, it did take me out of my experience and made me wonder why this young babe was in a lounge type adult environment. It seemed too loud and I worried for the baby. It is a real liability.
I also because of years of bar life work experience have seen it all. This is including upscale, low brow, pubs, sexy lounges, music venues, etc. People when they are out drinking become unpredictable. Someone can randomly get in a fight with someone else. Someone can get shoved. Drinks can slip from someone's hand and shatter. Etc. Etc. And its always dim and loud.
I just personally would never take a baby into a bar or want to see one there as a patron.
Even if they do let you in with a baby, be aware that other patrons may not be thrilled to see a baby in a bar and it does become a focal point for criticism.
I am sorry you weren't able to hang with your pals. I don't mean to come off preachy or judgey but I did work in the bar environment for many years so it strikes a chord with me.
I am surprised your pals and DH couldn't make a compromise...you know, think of a nice restaurant you all could have went to where the baby would have been welcome.
That sucks you felt left out.
I know you had good intentions and didn't know it was a law but I think its a good law.
I hope I didn't stir the pot by voicing my opinion but I do support you and know you are a good mama.

Casemnor: I grew up in NOLA. My other concern with bars there regarding babies is the cigarette smoke which is pervasive.
post #47 of 52
Really sucks!!! that this hppened.

Laws like these and the flexible enforcement of them are completely ridiculous, in my opinion. I used to live in a state where you couldn't take minors ever into a liquor store (cos your baby might grab a bottle of alcohol and try to buy it? try to guzzle it down? the corrupting influence of alcohol will seep into baby via osmosis?) and babies were not allowed in bars or the bar areas of restaurants with bars and I thought it was UTTERLY stupid and I didn't have kids then. I mean one place we used to go to- a brewpub- was essentially one large room with no real physical division between the bar and restaurant but that 10 feet or whatever was somehow magically safer for kids? PUHlease!

I have no idea if the state I currently live in has a over 9pm no minors allowed cos I'm usually asleep by 9pm But god knows I've been in many pubs and bars (they are all also restaurants as that's the law here) with Thalia. And! I've usually had a pint! of beer! I honestly do not believe any of this makes me a bad mama. (I wouldn't do it if there was smoking, but a-there's a ban here and b-I didn't go to smoky bars pre-baby either!)

Anyway, I just wanted to say, Em, that I totally hear and get you. And would have been as annoyed as you!!!
post #48 of 52
Thread Starter 
OrchideZ - don't worry about having a different opinion! We've all got different experiences that give us our thoughts today. I'd never considered that having my baby there would influence someone else's time b/c they might be worried about my baby! All I know is that Addie loves loud, live music, feels safe b/c she's in a wrap on me, I'm having a good time, and I think it's good for babies to be out in the real world... I've never imagined that someone else might worry about her b/c *I'm* not worried about her... does that make sense? So it's good to hear the other side... respectfully.
post #49 of 52
I love ya Em!:
I came back here thinking maybe I was too in-yer-face and was worried about hurting feelings in retrospect.
I do know we are all good mamas on here with just different styles and approaches. Yay for Oct. 08 mamas.
post #50 of 52
Originally Posted by OrchideZ View Post

Casemnor: I grew up in NOLA. My other concern with bars there regarding babies is the cigarette smoke which is pervasive.

I can not stand cigarette smoke, it makes me physically ill...so as a rule do not frequent bars/pubs/restaurants with any cigarette smoking. Thank goodness there is a smoking ban on restaurants in New Orleans. That gives us a plethora of choices in the quarter and around New Orleans.
post #51 of 52
When it comes to smoking....well, me and my husband both smoke but will not do so in front of or around Calli. We don't smoke in our house or vehicle or anywhere else she could breathe it in. We also have bans on smoking in restaurants and bars here. I am glad that we do, even though I am a smoker. Just because I smoke doesn't mean other people need to thanks to me.
post #52 of 52
Another DDC crasher, sorry, but wanted to say ITA with the OP. I took my first to pubs very frequently and I think that unless there is smoking or extremely loud music it should be a non issue. As for the 'mama thoughts' about drafts etc. those are thoughts that don't generally occur to me about my babies. I keep them close to me, wrapped in public usually, nurse on demand and go about my life. Don't tend to worry overmuch beyond that.
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