New Year 2009 for Nov05 !!! - Page 7

[MamaFern]

oh mama! ive been thinking of you and your baby fox so much. this is a hard journey, but you know that life is worth fighting for and you are doing the right thing for your sweet boy. it may well be a long road of recovery and healing, emotionally as well as physically..but you will get there.. and just think how worth it will all be when you have a crawling, smiling, nursing little boy. even his crying will be a joyous occasion. its a hard life lesson..but you have ben chosen to live it. and you are doing so amazingly well. and we are here for you to cry to, and share with. please know that we are all thinking of you and your boy. i cant wait to hear your welcome home story. be strong, but allow yourself to grieve too.. its all in balance that healing comes.

[barcelona]

Oh, Teresa.
I cannot say it better than the other mamas, but know that you & sweet little Fox are so very lifted and supported right now. I also teared up reading your story and seeing your picture. He is beautiful, and like Fern said, this is part of his story and of your story, part of the beautiful destiny that ties you together, that is making each of you who you are...
You are so strong, mama. I cannot wait to read/hear that Fox is back home with you and snuggled in your arms.

We love you!

[gingerstar]

Theresa, you and your precious family are surrounded, from all over the country and across the Atlantic, with love and light and healing....

Thanks for sharing the pic with us - he looks so right in your arms, and you are so strong, so clearly his momma! It makes sense he would be confused, after such a start to this life, but I know that very soon he will feel the connection that you so clearly have with him, and that bond will let him put all this behind him. How encouraging that he has a good latch, in spite of everything. Soon you will be slinging and nak-ing, and we will all rejoice with you!

[Phoenix_Rising]

Teresa, you and your family continue to be in my thoughts.

[Kavita]

Theresa, Hope that you will be able to bring him home this weekend. He does have such an intelligent look--seems very aware and present even though he does look a bit groggy--I've been thinking about you guys and wishing you well. Hope that you'll have some good news any day!!!


On another topic, I am largely offline because our power is out due to a ice storm. Might be 7-10 days to get it restored. But I'll check in as I'm able!

[HoneyTree]

Kavita, an ice storm? Is there a natural calamity that does not befall Kentucky?!!?

OK, gods willing this will be the last time I hijack our monthly chat for my hospital talk. It would be great to have a baby at my breast as I join you all in normal life stuff. (When I told my friend Sue I wanted to be able to start a normal life with my new baby, she said, you're not living normal life, you're living real life. This I found to be exceptionally true.)

So apparently the fast breathing and the drug withdrawl are not problems after all. We just had to wait for the doctors and nurse practitioners to change shifts. For all the hard science involved in modern medicine, there's an awful lot of subjectivity involved.

So now it's all about the feeding. He has to eat enough from the breast or bottle that he gains weight over a 24-hour period.

It's a blur how we got to this point, but here we are, and I'm so thankful for it. Only apparently I am not the breast feeding diva that I thought I was. Two sessions with lactation consultants later and the boy is still not really getting much milk.

The ventilator effectively thwarted his natural instinct to suckle at a breast, replacing it instead with an aversion to anything in his mouth, including a nipple. And in all fairness, he is probably a little insecure about breathing on his own, too, so he gets nervous when a liquid, even one so delicious and perfect as breast milk, enters his mouth and requires him to stop breathing for a split second in order to swallow. Anything more than a few droplets and he pulls of the breast and looks at me as if to ask, what now? You can see how getting him the roughly 2 1/2 ounces every few hours that his orders say he needs is tough. Also, these things take time and a comfortable setting.

So we find ourselves in the odd position of pushing the bottle. Yes! Yes! Bring on the bottle. The bottle is easier for him to suck, you say? Terrific! Anything, anything to get this boy to eat. I have an inexhaustible commitment to breast feeding, so whatever hardships await us transferring from bottle to breast I am ready to face. Bring it on, just so long as I can bring my baby home.

[flapjack]

Oh Honeytree Bring it on. I did notice you're getting some knitting done, btw, very cute socks
MY baby just turned 1. He's surrounded by a sea of plastic tat and is playing with a cabbage.

[gingerstar]

Theresa - whatever it takes to get him home, in your arms, where he belongs. He'll heal from this, and you can help him love nursing.

: River! Happy birthing day Helen!

But really, must you spoil him so? A cabbage?

[spughy]

Teresa, you are so wonderful. Fox is so, so lucky to have a mama like you. (Woody too!)

Helen, a cabbage is a perfectly appropriate toy for a big one year-old boy!!! I can't believe he's one already. Wow.

We're heading out to a lunch potluck at our cowshare farm today - this was Nell's last week of lactating, now she gets 2 months off to rest up for her calf. We're all going to give her lots of pats and love and we've got a few special apples for her too. This is the sort of thing that - besides the wonderful milk - that makes up for having to drive for 2 hours every other week to get milk! One of Rowan's little buddies (family) also has a share so she'll be out there as well and it should be a good time. Then on the way home we're going to drop Rowan off at the g'parents' for a sleep-over, which she's been begging for for weeks. DH and I are going to do pizza and a movie and enjoy some peace and quiet - I totally cleaned the house yesterday so there's no chores to be done, it'll be lovely!

[DreamsInDigital]

Happy birthday River! Happy birthing day Helen!

So on top of every other obnoxious problem I've had with this pregnancy I'm developing pre-e so I'm having to be on bedrest until tomorrow night when I go in to be induced.

[flapjack]

: DiD, is this baby by any chance your last? If not, I think Jim should have the next one.

River says yup when I told him you said Happy Birthday. The cabbage was overly stimulating, so he ws up half the night running a temperature and trying to remove my nipples. Not good

[DreamsInDigital]

Um yeah I'm pretty sure this will be our last one. I can't imagine intentionally going through all this ever again. 5 is a big brood of children anyway and they'll all grow up to be teenagers someday.

I can't sleep though. Nerves are getting to me.

[HoneyTree]

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