Military Moms - Jan-Feb '09! - Page 6

[Kassyaf13]

Originally Posted by Alohamelly

My husband deploys again later this year and I want to go home for it. I want to go to Hawaii and stay there for the year. I'm not happy here. I need the warmth and sunshine and good friends. I'll have 3 kids, including one baby who will be about 4 months old. What do you think? Doable? What would you do with the cars? We've left our things in storage for a year, so I know that's doable, but the cars are an issue. Also, I don't know if we'd be as lucky as we were when we stayed in AZ for the year while my DH was in Korea. The Army paid to move us there and then they packed us up and moved us out of there. I don't know if they'd do that for a deployment. My husband is unsupportive of this plan because he thinks if I go back, I will never leave again and I've told him over and over that it's not true. I'd go back knowing it's temporary and if I could stay there for the next year, that would get me through the next few years of wherever we end up next, you know? I just need to go home for a little while.

I used to be stationed in Washington and there is a place in Tacoma down by the industrial area that you can store your car for up to two years. I don't know how much it costs but they look after your car and it's in a locked facility, there are also places down there that you can ask about shipping if you'd like to do that. To ship our car to Germany it was $2000. It might be cheaper since Hawaii is closer.

[kindheartcarol]

USMC Wife

hi everyone!
i just joined today so i'm tryin to get the hang of everything. I'm a usmc wife i've been with my marine for close to 2 yrs now. i survived a deployment while being prego with ds last yr. right now we're working on post deployment baby #2 (while breastfeeding).

[marlne]

Welcome to all who are joining here! Glad you're here!

Warning... possible vent ahead..

Okay, Where in the internet world can one find a "Safer" place to talk or vent w/o it affecting your husband at work?lol
No where? Thought so...
I can't even talk on a military or marine recruiter wives forum w/o someone spying.

Is it somewhat discrimination when those "higher up" are putting blame on the "older" wife when the husband is having a hard time?
They say because I'm older than my husband, I'm the one putting "thoughts" in his head.

I may be older than my husband but we are together on things and when it comes to his job, I am "behind" him. Not the one pulling the dang reigns.
Never ever once did I suggest a single thing to him. We are here with him and supporting him. Yes, he knows its getting to me about being stranded, but I'm not making it a horrible situation. Heck, it would probably get to just about anyone to be stranded.
I'm dealing and we'll "together" fix the situation, but... I'm so upset that they would suggest any problems are because my husband married someone older than him and suggest that it's me doing things!
Why does age have to affect anything like this anyway?
Ugh..
It's bugging me..

[kirstenb]

Originally Posted by kindheartcarol

hi everyone!
i just joined today so i'm tryin to get the hang of everything. I'm a usmc wife i've been with my marine for close to 2 yrs now. i survived a deployment while being prego with ds last yr. right now we're working on post deployment baby #2 (while breastfeeding).

Hello! I see we live close to each other! Do you live on base or in town?

[kirstenb]

Originally Posted by marlne

Okay, Where in the internet world can one find a "Safer" place to talk or vent w/o it affecting your husband at work?lol
No where? Thought so...
I can't even talk on a military or marine recruiter wives forum w/o someone spying.

Is it somewhat discrimination when those "higher up" are putting blame on the "older" wife when the husband is having a hard time?
They say because I'm older than my husband, I'm the one putting "thoughts" in his head.

How did they find out it was you? I'm super leary of those kinds of boards because of that reason.

[marlne]

Every "recruiter wife" has to be careful. Its super easy to find out who your hubby is and for some reason there are people who search out forums to find out what is being said. I just don't get it, Why?
My DH said there was someone on one of the groups I joined that was there to "see" if they can find out what is going on.

There were two guys in the past (one kind of recent too) who in fact got in some type of trouble because of things their wives shared.

I'm upset about me being blamed for my DH's problems (he's only been at it for 4mos) with RD due to me being older and yet have noone to talk to about it.. Why bring up me being older and then saying I'm to blame?
It makes me mad when I've done nothing.

[Alohamelly]

Originally Posted by marlne

Alohamelly~ I think it's doable!
Do you have any family here on the mainland that will keep your cars for you?
If not, how about finding a storage place that accepts cars? Unfortunately I don't know how much that would cost..
We didn't think we'd miss Oahu but are finding we are already.lol

I don't know anyone here who could keep our cars. I really want my husband to sell his before he leaves and then I'd like to ship mine over. I know we'd have to pay out of pocket though, but I do have time to save for that.

Originally Posted by MangoMommy

AlohaMelly!
Do you have family in the area that could help you here on O'ahu? Could you afford to ship 1 car to the island? I'm not sure how Army (you guys are Army?) works with deployments and moves,etc but I can imagine missing the warmth and sunshine. I know I will when we leave in a year.

BTW, I think I "know" you thru HMW...I joined, probably as you were leaving?

I have a lot of friends over there that could help me. My dad is there, but he's moving this spring.

That's pretty cool that you are on HMW! Is it still going strong? I helped create that board, btw.

Originally Posted by Kassyaf13

I used to be stationed in Washington and there is a place in Tacoma down by the industrial area that you can store your car for up to two years. I don't know how much it costs but they look after your car and it's in a locked facility, there are also places down there that you can ask about shipping if you'd like to do that. To ship our car to Germany it was $2000. It might be cheaper since Hawaii is closer.

Thanks for that info. That's good to know! I'm thinking to ship one car to Hawaii, it would cost at least $1000

[MangoMommy]

Originally Posted by Alohamelly

That's pretty cool that you are on HMW! Is it still going strong? I helped create that board, btw.

Yup, still going strong, prob lots of ladies you know are still there (but they are on the mainland now.)

I hope it all works out for you!

[AFWife]

I hate the United States Air Force a little bit right now...I just got a letter from DH and he told me that they moved his tech school from Sheppard (5-6 hours away) to Keesler in Mississippi (a different state). He's going to be in tech when the baby is born and I'm SO UPSET that he might miss it. Someone tell me that they can arrange an emergency flight to get him here ASAP if I call him while I'm in labor????

[Kassyaf13]

Originally Posted by AFWife

I hate the United States Air Force a little bit right now...I just got a letter from DH and he told me that they moved his tech school from Sheppard (5-6 hours away) to Keesler in Mississippi (a different state). He's going to be in tech when the baby is born and I'm SO UPSET that he might miss it. Someone tell me that they can arrange an emergency flight to get him here ASAP if I call him while I'm in labor????

They can because the same thing happen to my friend and her husband was flown back from Tech School in time to be with her and the baby. He might have to stay a little longer in Tech School, like a couple of days if he misses info or a test, but in the end it will be worth it. Have him talk to his MTL once he gets to Keesler, they should be able to help.

[~Katie~]

Originally Posted by AFWife

I hate the United States Air Force a little bit right now...I just got a letter from DH and he told me that they moved his tech school from Sheppard (5-6 hours away) to Keesler in Mississippi (a different state). He's going to be in tech when the baby is born and I'm SO UPSET that he might miss it. Someone tell me that they can arrange an emergency flight to get him here ASAP if I call him while I'm in labor????

I'm not sure if its the same thing but my DH will most likely be staying behind for a bit during his deployment for this baby to be born, so I assume they could have him come home but it would be something he needs to work out ahead of time and make others aware of it.

[~Katie~]

Originally Posted by marlne

Welcome to all who are joining here! Glad you're here!

Warning... possible vent ahead..

Okay, Where in the internet world can one find a "Safer" place to talk or vent w/o it affecting your husband at work?lol
No where? Thought so...
I can't even talk on a military or marine recruiter wives forum w/o someone spying.

Is it somewhat discrimination when those "higher up" are putting blame on the "older" wife when the husband is having a hard time?
They say because I'm older than my husband, I'm the one putting "thoughts" in his head.

I may be older than my husband but we are together on things and when it comes to his job, I am "behind" him. Not the one pulling the dang reigns.
Never ever once did I suggest a single thing to him. We are here with him and supporting him. Yes, he knows its getting to me about being stranded, but I'm not making it a horrible situation. Heck, it would probably get to just about anyone to be stranded.
I'm dealing and we'll "together" fix the situation, but... I'm so upset that they would suggest any problems are because my husband married someone older than him and suggest that it's me doing things!
Why does age have to affect anything like this anyway?
Ugh..
It's bugging me..

I don't talk on any boards but here, maybe a little on diaper swappers but I just avoid the military boards all together. Don't let them suck you down like that, people are a-holes and like to start drama just for the sake of doing it. You know you're helping and not hindering and he knows that too so don't let them get to you

[marlne]

Thank you so much Katie! I truly appreciate it.
Yeah, they definately made to to where I won't go to any future military function.. I don't want to see any of them, let alone meet them now.
I don't want to be around those people at all. They've got no reason to bring me up, let alone me being older than my husband.

[dirtyhipegirl]

Hello all,

I haven't been on here in forever, so I'll reintroduce myself. Lindsay, dh is in the AF. We are stationed at Aviano for the next couple of years. After that we are planning on putting in for Hickam and if not we are going to get out for sure. Being a military spouse can be really hard at times. My dh was in Korea for a year, that sucked, but I'm grateful for all the travel opportunities. Look forward to getting to know you all.

[~Katie~]

Welcome back!

Not much to report here, just getting ready for the new baby and DH is busy, busy preparing for this deployment. We're heading to Florida next week for a little work vacation since DH is in charge of some stuff down there, it won't be much of a vacation for him but it will give us all a little break at least.

Hope everyone is well!

[ChichosMama]

SO put in his orders AGAIN, prayers pls ladies that he stays here in San Diego. Thanks!
<3

[Soul-O]

Originally Posted by Alohamelly

My husband deploys again later this year and I want to go home for it. I want to go to Hawaii and stay there for the year. I'm not happy here. I need the warmth and sunshine and good friends. I'll have 3 kids, including one baby who will be about 4 months old. What do you think? Doable? What would you do with the cars? We've left our things in storage for a year, so I know that's doable, but the cars are an issue. Also, I don't know if we'd be as lucky as we were when we stayed in AZ for the year while my DH was in Korea. The Army paid to move us there and then they packed us up and moved us out of there. I don't know if they'd do that for a deployment. My husband is unsupportive of this plan because he thinks if I go back, I will never leave again and I've told him over and over that it's not true. I'd go back knowing it's temporary and if I could stay there for the next year, that would get me through the next few years of wherever we end up next, you know? I just need to go home for a little while.

Hi Melly:

Unfortunately, the Army won't pay for the move to Hawaii or back, and will only pay Ft. Lewis rates for BAH when your DH is deployed. I recently checked into this myself because I'm with family here in CA while my DH finishes phase 3 of officer training (MIBOLC) in AZ, and I wanted to stay here instead of go up to Ft. Lewis because DH will deploy shortly after we arrive. I completely understand your dilemma, and hope you can find a way to make going home work for you .

[lisa_nc]

Marlne,

Recruiting sucks, but don't let them play the mind games with you. Just put your head down and shoulder through. I swear to you, the duty ends and you go on with your lives. If you need to, you can PM me to talk. My husband is also a Marine and he came off RD almost two years ago. It was the hardest three years of our marriage, but we did it and you can too.

[Soul-O]

EFMP anyone?

Does anyone have family members enrolled in EFMP? I'm actually considering it for myself because I have been diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder characterized by extreme angioedema (swelling) in my airways when exposed to any number of allergens, and my MDs have not yet determined all of what causes the reactions or how to treat me. At this point, my allergist has recommended that I reside no more than a 5 minute drive from the nearest ER so that I can be treated quickly in the event of an airway obstruction. My DH thinks we should enroll in EFMP for now so that we can request priority housing assignments on post to be close to the MTF and also have extra assistance with our kids if he is deployed and I am hospitalized with a flare up.

Anyone with EFMP experience - please share the good and bad.

Thanks?

[Maluhia]

Originally Posted by Alohamelly

I'd go back knowing it's temporary and if I could stay there for the next year, that would get me through the next few years of wherever we end up next, you know? I just need to go home for a little while.

I moved here when DH got stationed overseas for 9 months - he then got stationed here in Hawaii. We got BAH from the last place we lived and we paid out of pocket for my/DD flights. That being said there is an awesome AP group on island that has playdates, etc. and can create a great community and is about 1/3 to 1/2 military Mamas.

Originally Posted by AFWife

Someone tell me that they can arrange an emergency flight to get him here ASAP if I call him while I'm in labor????

They might let him go but the $$$ to fly home will be out of your family pocket so it might be good to save towards that. Also, you might look into having a free doula since you are military and your spouse will be deployed in case your labor is fast and he can't get home in time.

Originally Posted by Soul-O

Anyone with EFMP experience - please share the good and bad.

Thanks?

I know it can do good things for you but can be "bad" for your husband's career future. That being said your condition sounds like it really needs EFMP and I would do it in your situation.