Military Moms - Jan-Feb '09! - Page 38

[EdnaMarie]

MarineWIfe- I know you wouldn't try to annoy me. The truth is, I'm not entirely sure how the whole thing works myself, but basically, it goes like this:

DH gets orders for a change of station to Germany. It says he can bring his family.
But they don't mean us. They just mean, theoretically, he's a family guy.
For us to go over, we have to get approved and invited by his command.
That is "command sponsorship".
It's a PITA but oh, well, we got Germany so thank you, God! We'll take it. I'd rather this than go immediately to... well I won't say it here but there were places I didn't want to go, even though I was ready.

[MarineWife]

Oh, that's weird. We haven't had to deal with any overseas PCS moves yet so maybe that's why I don't know about it.Why in the world would they give him orders for his family and then just move you guys? That is just stupid, not matter what they call it! That in and of itself, without having to deal with them changing it so that you have to go through the red tape all over again, would frustrate me.

I wouldn't mind going to Germany but not any time soon. I have a sort of adult child and I wouldn't be able to go that far away from him. We were talking about going back to HI but now I don't want to go because I don't want to leave my 18yo.

I don't know how other places do the physical fitness stuff but it seems in the Marine Corps it takes a lot to actually get kicked out for not passing the PFT and losing weight.

[lmevans]

Hi, I'm new here! I've been on MDC for a while, but havent checked in for a long time.

My husband recently joined the Air Force, and we're at our first station now; we moved here about a month ago. We're at Scott AFB in IL. We're about 2 hours from "home" and about 3 hours from our family, so its not too bad. Our house is finally under contract to sell, so that'll take a load of stress off!

We have 2 children, a daughter who is 5 1/2 and a son who is 3. We homeschool and I'm a SAHM.

Looking forward to meeting you all!

Lillian

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

\

DH gets orders for a change of station to Germany. It says he can bring his family.
But they don't mean us. They just mean, theoretically, he's a family guy.
For us to go over, we have to get approved and invited by his command.
That is "command sponsorship".
It's a PITA but oh, well, we got Germany so thank you, God! We'll take it. I'd rather this than go immediately to... well I won't say it here but there were places I didn't want to go, even though I was ready.

Well, I moved to Germany with my husband and it was super easy. He just needs to have you listed on his orders that you are to travel with him concurrently, you go to EFMP and get a no fee passport that basically is like a Visa. I had NO problem. We never had to deal with his command here in Germany. Heck we had no idea what unit or base we REALLY were going to be at until we got here! They love to welcome you to Germany and then change your post assignment when you arrive. haha

[Sarah W]

Let's see...DH graduated from ROP on the 20th. Everything was great and he passed the board. Now, I'm just waiting for MY orders to WA. He has to report Jan 10, so we're aiming for a 1 Feb report date for me and I'll just take a month of leave.

We close on our house next Monday, so it's pretty great timing!

[MarineWife]

Sarah ~ You're in the military, too? That must be interesting.

I'm counting down the days now until dh is home. (Am I allowed to post that?)

[EdnaMarie]

Ugh, we are still here waiting for those papers. ARGH! Now DH is visiting his family... two more weeks. I bet they'll have us moving Christmas day. :P

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by EdnaMarie

Ugh, we are still here waiting for those papers. ARGH! Now DH is visiting his family... two more weeks. I bet they'll have us moving Christmas day. :P

If it takes too long, can you delay it until after the holidays?

[justme77]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

I'm counting down the days now until dh is home. (Am I allowed to post that?)

Yes, OPSEC rules are to simply not post exact dates or time or have a countdown ticker... I have that fresh on my mind since I'm the KV for DH's Detachment and we too are counting down.

Very interesting about the CS! Sounds like a total pain. Good luck with that!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by justme77

Yes, OPSEC rules are to simply not post exact dates or time or have a countdown ticker... I have that fresh on my mind since I'm the KV for DH's Detachment and we too are counting down.

Thanks. That's what I thought my dh told me but someone told me I wasn't supposed to post stuff like that (regarding a different post a while ago). So, I guess I can say that I got word yesterday that he should be home a couple of days earlier than I expected. Of course, that still has plenty of time to change so I'm not banking on the date and time until he calls me to tell me he's on the way.

If I can find somewhere to get a single twin sheet, we'll go to the banner making event our FRO has planned tomorrow. We've been in for 8 or 9 years and have never made a Welcome Home banner so I'm sure my dh will really appreciate it. I just have to decide whether to hang it on the fence along the road approaching the base or hang it at our house. I think the fence would be better because he would feel proud for everyone else to see his banner.

[~Katie~]

Crap, I'm sorry I didn't post this sooner. You can get free welcome home banners here: http://www.buildasign.com/Troops. I'm going to order mine soon. DH will be home in a little over 4 months, but I'd rather do it now while they still have them.

As far as OPSEC, as long as you're not posting exact dates or times, you can speak in general terms (like a few days, weeks, etc.) or in past tense, like things that have already happened.

We're moved into our new house. Less than 2 weeks after I got word that we were moving, they moved us. The new house is awesome, so much bigger and nicer and INSULATED! Which means I can actually set the thermostat to 68-70 and not have it be 50 degrees in other parts of the house. Also good because we're responsible for paying any energy costs that go 5% above what we're allowed, and we also get a rebate when we go $15 or more below our allotment. I like living in a new house no one else has had a chance to mess up as well, and it's going to be really nice for DH to come home to.

[MarineWife]

That's cool, Katie. I've bookmarked it for the future. I don't have time to get one before dh gets home now.

[justme77]

Another awesome site is http://www.oplove.org
Photographers have volunteered to photograph your Homecoming for free!!

Congrats on the new clean and fresh house! how exciting for ya'll.

[Sarah W]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

Sarah ~ You're in the military, too? That must be interesting.

Yep! I've been in for 12 years.

[urchin_grey]

-waves-

Hi! I am not military, nor a military wife, but my partner is considering joining the AF. Does anyone care to share their experience? Most of the people we know IRL have told him that the AF would be his best choice. Neither one of us really knows much about the military though. My little sister and her husband are both in the army, but I know all the branches are a bit different. And while my sister and BIL obviously get great benefits, I've heard more bitching out of her about it than anything. So convince me (or not). TIA!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Sarah W

Yep! I've been in for 12 years.

Wow! I can't imagine. I have to admit, I'm fascinated by women who choose to join the service (but then I'm personally averse to any work outside the home ). I could not have a job that could take me away from my children for months or years at a time.

urchin ~ I'm not sure what you're looking for or how much my opinions and experiences might help you. Would your dp be going in as enlisted or officer? I think the experiences of enlisted vs. officer can be very different. I know the pay is significantly different. Enlisted service members get paid so little that many (most, all?) of them with families qualify for social services such as WIC and food stamps.

My dh, who's a Marine Corps officer, says the AF is the cushiest, softest, easiest of the services. He has always said that, if our 18yo decided to join the service, dh would want him to join the AF. He makes a joke about one time when they were out somewhere with some AF guys. The Marines were in tents outside sleeping on the ground maybe without even their quarter inch mats to sleep on while the AF guys had hotel style accommodations with AC and all the amenities. Being a Marine, though, so I don't know how much his opinion is skewed. They get all macho when they're together and like to think they are tougher than anyone else.

Personally, I think it's all a matter of knowing what you're getting into and accepting it. You need to be prepared to be on your own for just about everything. Don't come in thinking the military is going to take care of you. Although the military gives a lot of lip service to providing services and benefits to service members and their families and have probably improved a lot from 50 years ago, I haven't seen much of anything of significance. You get benefits like free medical care and housing (if you want it) but will have to deal with all the hassles of a government run institution. I haven't had much experience with that because I don't use the military doctors but I do occasionally use the pharmacy, lab and radiology.

I have not found a significant savings in shopping at the commissaries and exchanges. The prices may be slightly lower and/or you don't have to pay taxes but they carry mostly name brands so things are still pricey, imo. Also, (I've always wondered about this) you don't pay taxes on food you buy at the commissary but there is a service fee that is quite significant. It seems to me to even out with taxes you'd pay somewhere else. I guess the benefit of that to us is supposed to be that that money goes to services for the military and their families.

I don't know how the AF works as far as how often and for how long service members are gone. In the Marines, even not in times of war, my dh would have regular deployments and be gone for days, weeks and months at a time in between for training. Especially if you are enlisted, you have to accept that your dp will be at the beck and call of his superiors 24/7/365. Evenings and weekends that are normally not working hours are considered liberty so your service member can be called in to work at any time or can not have that liberty granted (that probably doesn't happen often but it's something to keep in mind).

My dh was 31 when he signed the papers to join and almost 32 when he went to OCS. Before that he was an accountant and part-time personal trainer and I worked as a Patent Examiner for the United States Patent and Trademark office. Our combined income was over 100K. When he joined he took at 20K pay cut and I quit my job, losing about 70k in income. In spite of that, my quality of life is much, much better in many ways. I don't have to deal with the stress of working, which I absolutely despise. I am able to stay home with my children and homeschool them. With responsible budgeting we are able to afford everything we need. I was just looking around my house yesterday amazed that this is my house. I never thought I'd life in such a nice place and it's all due to my dh.

Well, I wrote a book. I hope that helps some.

[MovingMomma]

urchin: Wow, MW wrote a book for you! She has lots of good points!

The first thing that jumps out at me is you say "DP," not "DH." If you aren't married, you would be missing out on LOTS of $$$. In fact, if you aren't married, your DP might not even be authorized to live out of the barracks for several years. If your DP got stationed at an overseas installation (I don't mean deployed to a war zone) you would not be able to go too.

And yes, officer vs enlisted makes a huge difference. The "breaking point" for enlisted seems to be at E5, IMO. Trying to support a family on just a military income below E5 is difficult at the least.

MW, I was going to dispute your statement that "many (most, all?)" enlisted families qualify for WIC & food stamps, but you may be right. I can't tell what income counts for food stamps, but for WIC, housing allowances are excluded. I'm also not sure about BAS, but if that's excluded as well then a family of 4 qualifies for WIC for all ranks E6 & below, and E7 before 10 yrs of service. An O1 with any time in service or an O2 with 2 years or less would also qualify. Keep in mind, however, that because of the excluded allowance(s) military families that qualify for WIC can actually make significantly more than non-military families that qualify.

Here's a link to the 2009 pay table. And you can look up BAH (basic allowance for housing) rates here.

As far which branch to choose, look at what your DP wants to do in the military and where you would like to be stationed in addition to the culture of each branch. DH is USMC & we were at an AF base for 7 months: Yes, AF is way cushier than the USMC.

I have to disagree w/MW on the commissary benefit. If you shopped really smart, you might be able to spend the same amount on the same stuff off base, but you'd have to hit all the sales, use coupons, bulk buy, etc. They say commissary savings are 30%, and I find that to be true. The exchange, though, is not usually a real bargain. You can find deals there, but it pays to shop around.

Originally Posted by MarineWife

My dh was 31 when he signed the papers to join and almost 32 when he went to OCS. Before that he was an accountant and part-time personal trainer and I worked as a Patent Examiner for the United States Patent and Trademark office. Our combined income was over 100K. When he joined he took at 20K pay cut and I quit my job, losing about 70k in income. In spite of that, my quality of life is much, much better in many ways. I don't have to deal with the stress of working, which I absolutely despise. I am able to stay home with my children and homeschool them. With responsible budgeting we are able to afford everything we need. I was just looking around my house yesterday amazed that this is my house. I never thought I'd life in such a nice place and it's all due to my dh.

But he's making way more than 30k/year now, right? Were you ok financially w/the pay cut immediately, or was there a turning point for you, too?

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by MovingMomma

MW, I was going to dispute your statement that "many (most, all?)" enlisted families qualify for WIC & food stamps, but you may be right. I can't tell what income counts for food stamps, but for WIC, housing allowances are excluded. I'm also not sure about BAS, but if that's excluded as well then a family of 4 qualifies for WIC for all ranks E6 & below, and E7 before 10 yrs of service. An O1 with any time in service or an O2 with 2 years or less would also qualify.

The only reason I know that is because we almost qualified for WIC when dh was O-1 with less than 2 years and a family of 4. I think we were only $50 above the limit. It may vary depending on where you live, too. That was in HI where the cost of living is much higher than a lot of other places.

Any allowances or benefits like BAH and BAS are excluded. It takes into account only the families taxable income.

Originally Posted by MovingMomma

I have to disagree w/MW on the commissary benefit. If you shopped really smart, you might be able to spend the same amount on the same stuff off base, but you'd have to hit all the sales, use coupons, bulk buy, etc. They say commissary savings are 30%, and I find that to be true.

I do my grocery shopping switching between the Commissary and Food Lion every other week because each carries things that the other does not. I have not noticed any significant difference in my bills at either place although the individual prices appear to be a lot different. As a matter of fact, the last time I shopped at the Food Lion my bill was about $65 less than my usual Commissary bill (and, believe me, I don't shop smart!). I've been told Wal-Mart is even less expensive than Food Lion, although I've never tested that theory because I won't shop there.

Originally Posted by MovingMomma

But he's making way more than 30k/year now, right? Were you ok financially w/the pay cut immediately, or was there a turning point for you, too?

Yes, he's making more than that now but it's still not quite half of what we used to make before the military and that's after 7 years of service (right?). He's an O-3 with over 6 years on that pay table, I guess. That's just his taxable income. That does not include BAH and BAS, medical insurance and such. Even with those benefit factored in, he brings home significantly less that what we did before he joined. If we had stayed where we were working the way we were with raises and everything, we still wouldn't be able to live the way we do now and certainly not with only one of us working. If you google it, you might be able to find the proposed 2010 pay raise table. I think I looked at that before, maybe on Military.com.

[~Katie~]

Sarah W is our resident hero She's had quite the epic tale if you look back at our older threads.

As far as what the branch, I'm not going to get into who happens to be better, stronger, easier, etc. This isn't the appropriate forum for that. What I will say is that the AF is newer, which means housing and facilities tend to be newer. But that is changing as other branches renovate old housing and build new housing. You should take into account what your DH wants to do for a career and where you want to live. My brother left the AF over 10 years ago and did MI, he really enjoyed it and lived in Florida and Maryland while he was in. Things were different then as far as basic goes but it has changed a lot since then.

Being married will significantly impact how you are supported by the military. You typically won't be recognized for any benefits until you're married, which means no housing or health care. Your children will receive some health care, in the Army it's 50% coverage the last time I heard.

As far as saving at the commissary, I actually save more money shopping at Walmart. Even with coupons. I can afford much better produce as well because the commissary's produce department is awful.

My DH is an officer in the Army (02 with 4 years prior service, he was in the reserves in college) and makes the same amount my brother does as a store manager for a rental company he's worked at for the last 7 years. Without all the perks my brothers gets of course, including all expense paid vacations, cruises, free cars, not having to miss birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. If I chose to work as a civilian for the Army with my degree, I would make about 30k more a year than he does at the moment because there's a high demand for my field. There have been lots of ups and downs that I'm not going to get into, but just be prepared for everything to not go as planned and to just roll with it. Be prepared to be more self-reliant than you ever have in your entire life. You learn a lot about yourself and each other through the whole process.

[Sarah W]

LOL, I don't know if I'm as much of a hero as someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. :

As a dual income couple, we would never have been able to qualify for WIC. We met right before we both were promoted to E-5 and had no children.

As for what service, it depends. For the Army, you can pick your exact job and as long as you pass the school, that job is yours. Additionally, promotions are faster in the Army than other services. I'm 30 and I've been an E-7 for the last 4+ years, whereas we have friends who have retired as E-7 in the AF. I do think that, along with that, the Army asks for more of your time and you are responsible for more as an NCO than other services.

If it's a young person who wants to see the world, I'd recommend the Navy. The Navy personnel that I work with have literally been all over the world.

The AF used to have things a lot nicer (barracks was a big one) than the Army, but I don't think it's to the same extent that it was 10-15 years ago.

I can't speak for the Marines, because I've never seen living quarters and everywhere I've worked has a limited number of them.