Originally Posted by Seie
Anyway - just wondering how you avoid getting into a situation where the guy suddenly realises that he has taken on more than he is ready to deal with?
Damn it, I burst into tears again.
That's the million dollar question, isn't it? How do you know that when they assure you that everything involving all your baggage is manageable--that they see nothing on the scene that could be a considered any sort of a dealbreaker, that they really mean it? How do you avoid feeling total joy and relief that the one guy who has stolen your heart promises that any obstacles/baggage involved with being with you would be a small price to pay, because his heart has already bound to you. How to stay cynical when you're not that type and someone with a kind face stares into your eyes and you believe what your heart is telling you?
I'm being incoherent, sorry. I thought I was doing okay lately but then Seie's question just went straight to the heart of what just happened to me. My last bf just suddenly realized, seemingly out of nowhere, that after all, it is
too much to deal with and he just dropped me and started just playing games with me and treating me like shit and I was too surprised at the sudden change of attitude and in denial, that I let him jerk me around for a couple more weeks. What an exhausting holiday season it was. Just need to dry these tears and get over it already. It's been 4 weeks now since his deciding that he'd rather just walk away from me, after all.
Thanks, everyone, for listening. Normally I just PM these things to to my best friend (and the poor mama has much more important things going on in her own life.) Recovering from having your heart broken is so annoying, and I hate the self-pity involved, it is so not like me!!!!
I agree with Holland73 about peachymama's amazing attitude. I wish I could just chalk this all up to a learning experience about men and shrug it off instantly, but I guess I need to not be so hard on myself and let myself just grieve awhile, since it's inevitable, apparently.
I agree with Seie.... AVANI, are you lurking? How are you? PM me, or call me (you have my number) and I'll call you back. I can't imagine how she's managing after that guy pulled such a horrible act on her and left her pregnant. She is such a hero for not listening to her friends and keeping the baby, since that is what she feels is right for her and her family.
I'm feeling a little anti-men right now. Speaking of AVANI reminds me of my best college friend, who lives in San Diego. She's been with the same guy for 6 years, they are married, they've tried for two years to get a pregnancy to stick, and now, at 6 months into the pregnancy, he suddenly got a personality change, and after acting weird for a couple of months, told her that he wasn't in love with her anymore, nothing was salvageable, and moved out and left her alone. I'm reeling from this news, from someone I've loved so much for the last decade+. How do men do these things???
My cousin in London also just found a bunch of evidence that her 8 year long relationship has involved infidelity for quite some time, and found this out the same month she found out she was pregnant. She's having the baby, also, but..... what an asshole, to have played her like a fool for so many years, and she still hasn't made a clear stand and left him.