Help - dating a guy from work - need INPUTI need some advise, please.
I work in a very large company as an assistant of one of the managing directors. He is responsible for one unit. I have a great and very understanding boss who gives me lots of freedom (letting me go home earlier if my two DS need me), supports me, lets me be who I am, pays good and talks a lot with me about very confidential business information, something very unusual in our company culture between a boss and his secretary. Anyway, he is at the same time difficult, but I can work around his “style”, accept his personality. So all is quite good. I really want to continue working with him as it gives my life financial security, as we are a good team, as in this company there will always be further oportunities. In the past I have been always very honest with him because I think this is the best way. He knows some details about my private life, etc.
A few weeks ago a guy from another unit (a bit like our competitive unit) asked me out. Due to various reasons it never worked out until the week before last. And I thought, why not. It is not so easy to date men (in Europe), there are just not so many opportunities. We went out, had something to eat, went to a bar afterwards, talked a lot. We did not talk about work. It was nice, not too nice, but ok (this is not my first experience with dating). I knew he would not be the one to have a real longtime or lifetime relationship with but it could be nice to go out once in a while with an intelligent male person, flirt some, have even physical contact. At the end of the evening we were kissing and also touching (but nothing further) which was nice, not earthmoving but a good feeling. He kept in touch with me the following days, not every day but like every three days or something like that.
Once he asked me to have coffee with him at work which I declined. He is now gone on a business trip and wants to meet again next week.
Fine, right? But all of a sudden I think, it is not good. I fear the consequences at work. There are no rules, of course, no law against dating a guy from another unit BUT I feel my boss would not be happy. I have the feeling to hide something. He knows I am loyal, I do not talk about the confidential things he tells me but still.... And I think this guy is not important enough for me to jeopardize my professional situation. Can anyone relate?
I have decided, I do not want to date him any longer, nor friendship neither. If I date I do not want to hide. So, I want to send him a text message, I do not want to tell him in person. I need some ideas how to phrase this, being firm on one side but kind on the other side and to make my reasons as comprehensive as possible for him. If he gets angry, or does not understand, then it’s his problem, but I would like to try to make it as good as possible, I do not want to hurt him (AND there will be opportunities at work where we will meet by coincidence or even for professional purposes, so I want to be careful with my wording).
Any input, suggestions of a few sentences would help me a lot!!!!