Should I let her cry it out at the Breast?

[ms sig]

I have a dear 11 week old girl, my first child. I'm looking for some advice on what to do about nipple preference (some people call it nipple confusion) that existed since she was about 3 weeks old. She got the bottle right away at birth (wasn't my idea -- I'll go into more detail later if anyone was interested. Briefly -- unplanned c-section, 10 lb, hypoglycemic baby ) and then we had to supplement (or so we were told) for a couple weeks. She then decided eventually that she liked the bottle better and so didn't want to breastfeed. I've met with lactation consultants and they advise gentler approaches: skin to skin, giving her the bottle close to the breast then switching on her and hoping she doesn't notice or doesn't mind, a nipple shield, a sns. I've tried these things and they'll sometimes work, but not always, and the next feed she'll go back to being fussy again.

A woman from the LLL (and I've seen similar advice here) told me to just not give her the bottle. Just don't do it, and eventually she'll eat. The lactation consultants I spoke with don't recommend that approach. They say it's too harsh, and that she has to eat first, by any means.

I'm not sure what to do. It's really hard, but I do have a few things going for me. She'll breastfeed at night. She's in a co-sleeper and she'll wake up and I'll hold her to the breast and I guess she doesn't think about it so will feed. And in the morning before she comes to her senses she'll feed, but eventually she'll snap out of it and start fussing. So we get about two or three natural feeds like that (which I'm so thankful for). I've also been able to keep up my supply so far with pumping, and I've been able to freeze a serving or two a day.

I've come to terms with this, as much as I can. I'll EP (or nearly EP) if I need to. But on the other hand it makes me real sad. Especially when day after day I'm trying different things to get her to take the breast and she'll just reject it again and again and cry and wail. Or take it for a few minutes and I get happy, but then she'll reject it again.

So I'm looking for advice and/or support here. Should I do the cold turkey no bottle thing? It seems so obvious -- don't give her the bottle and she'll eat somehow. But dealing with it feels worse then letting a kid CIO in a room, and most people on here would never do that. In that situation though, the kid is behind a closed door and crying *for* you. Getting an unwilling baby to breastfeed is them crying right at you, *because* of you. And you can make them not cry (by giving them the bottle). And boy can she cry.

So, what are you thoughts? Should I quit the bottle cold turkey and just steel myself to deal with days of crying at the breast? Is it possible that even if I do this that she just won't eat? Will that sort of crying have a longer lasting impact? Anyone have personal experience with this or something I haven't tried?

I appreciate any advice or feedback.

[prettypixels]

I wouldn't do the cold turkey thing; I think she is too young to understand, and a really young baby can harm themselves by not eating enough. Could you cup feed her a few ounces before you try to breastfeed her? That way she is not *starving* and may be more patient with your slower flow. (One of the reasons for bottle preference is that bottles deliver milk so much faster and easier.) I would definitely add spending lots of time topless and skin to skin snuggling because it does help.

IMO, the thing you want to do is make breastfeeding be the best, happiest, most wonderful experience in the universe for your baby. NOT the most miserable. I just don't think there's anything good to come from that. Plus there are so many things you can continue to try in the meanwhile.

I know it's frustrating and I'm sorry you're going through this!

I would also try the "finish at the breast" method; here you'd feed her (cup? syringe? bottle?) most of a feeding, and then latch her on for the last few ounces. Sounds counterintuitive but like I said, you want breastfeeding to be WONDERFUL. You don't want her too hungry or too easily frustrated, you want her to see how sweet, delicious, warm, and wonderful nursing is. There's some good discussion of this method here...

http://www.lowmilksupply.org/finishatthebreast.shtml

I know you don't have low milk supply, but I still think this could be helpful for you!

[thepeach80]

I think she covered about everything I was going to say, lol. I would reccomend stopping the bottles, but NOT stopping feeding her. Use a syringe, that worked well for us and then try the finishing at the breast idea. If you need to use bottles, use one that requires her to work, we use the Playtex Ventaire standard b/c nothing comes out of it unless baby sucks so it's harder than other bottles.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by thepeach80

I think she covered about everything I was going to say, lol. I would reccomend stopping the bottles, but NOT stopping feeding her.

:

This is what I would do. I would absolutely ditch the bottles- now. But I would feed the baby. www.kellymom.com has a lot of alternative feeding methods listed and explained- cup feeding, spoon feeding, syringe feeding, dropper feeding, finger feeding etc.

good luck!

-Angela

[my two beauties]

my 9 week old daughter and i are going thru something similar, but i am wondering if in addition to nipple preference, we are experiencing some reflux or perhaps thrush...
anyways, i was booked for a few days of work and so my girl was with our caregiver and received a bottle... prior to that, any supplementation that was needed we did with a finger feeder. after those few days of getting a bottle, she started to pull off and scream after a few minutes at the breast. and wanting to make sure she was fed, i would pump and supplement with a bottle. well, now i am trying to correct that and it's hard! having your baby scream at you is the worst! in trying to wean her off the bottle i am going thru the night and most of the day with out giving her a bottle... when she nurses, she's only getting a few ounces at a time, cause she pulls off after 4-6 minutes, but she's breast feeding. when i do give her a bottle, i use a premie nipple so that she has to work for the milk... my hope is that i will be able to emiminate the bottle all together after a few more days of this...

one other "tool" for the switch has been the nipple shield. after she freaks out at the breast, i can sometimes trick her back on by using a nipple shield. at this point, anything to feed the girl!

i hope you and your daughter are able to figure it out - i bf my first daughter for 2 years - when it's good, it's the best! good luck to you!

[ewe+lamb]

jack newman recommends that in these instances you finger feed - www.drjacknewman.com, certainly I think that's what I would try and do, other things are to take a bath with babe - it has re-birthing memories, it may entice bb to nurse. The other thing is when bb is asleep strip down to just a nappy and you nothing on the top half, get into bed sort half sitting/half lying down lie your dd inbetween your breasts when she is waking and a little drowsy she 'should' nestle down to your breast and latch on by herself, you could try this a few times and see what happens, you said you've tried the sns you could try a lactaid if the sns doesn't seem to work for you, good luck and keep posting to let us know how you are getting on and give you continued support.

[ms sig]

Thanks all for your suggestions and idea. This weekend I'm going to try to go without the bottle and try to use a finger feeder and other methods if we need to supplement. I'll let you know how it goes and I'll log on here to get support if I need it (and I'm sure I will)!