OMG!!! STRESS OUT THE WAZOO!
I seriously don't know how some people do it. I'm feeling like a complete and utter failure because I can't do what is expected of me. How on earth do you take care of and infant with a completely unruly toddler? My son is driving me crazy! I try to clean and he runs behind me and makes it worse than it originally was. He takes advantage of me being tied down when bfing or when the baby is tired and uses those times to do things he KNOWS he's not supposed to such as grab a permanent marker and write on walls. He screams at me, hides things from me, talks back (in gibberish), and just imply will NOT mind me. I've tried everything under the sun to get him to behave, but nothing works. I know he needs some attention, but I don't have the time. I probably would if he would stop doing what he's doing, but as it is he's just making things 10x's worse and I can't get him to just stop, even for 10 minutes. I get sooo stressed out that I can't do anything. I just bottom out & sit there. I know that I NEED to clean the house and wash the dishes but I can't seem to make myself. I do what's necessary such as feed the kids and take care of their needs, but beyond that... Nope. I just want to sleep... just sleep the days away. That's the only time I feel I'm at peace. I daydream about going to bed and just sleeping for hours on end.
I finally broke down yesterday on the phone while talking to my mom. I just sobbed and told her about all that I've been feeling. She's going to take my son for about a week to give me time to both de-stress and do what needs to get done around the house. She's going to try and help me find a daycare center for my son so that 1 or 2 days out of the week I can get a break. She said that she would take him for me if it wasn't for her living an hour away. She also said that I need to get out and away from the kids every now and then, but that's so hard because I have no friends that live closer than an hour away. I live 20 minutes out of town and am isolated in the country... just me & the kids. Half the time I don't even get to see my husband because he works the nights shifts and he sleeps all day long. I just feel so alone and stressed and I just want to stop feeling this way.
Ugh... sorry for the long vent. I've been needing to get that out.
our library is a great resource. they have 3 story time hours a week and have a craft project at each one. im not usually one for joining groups but i have recently joined a few groups and get out of hte house at least once a week for those and they are great. getting out of the house is the best thing i have done for ds3.
Zen is ds4 and i learned a long time ago that if you dont want them to have it, put it where they cant get to it. otherwise there are always those battles.
ive been reorganizing some stuff around the house and its been really stressful b/c when i organize one thing, the other things are complete chaos. having 2 young ones is not an easy task, thats for sure..but as others have said, dishes and laundry can wait...childhood can not.
i hope things get easier for you. i go between being totally understanding to wondering how im going to survive this! lol!