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homebirthin' mamas

post #1 of 55
Thread Starter 
How are you doing? I haven't "officially " choosen HB yet (meaning I just haven't told the midwife for sure)... but she said she doesn't like the see moms until 16 weeks to start, so I still have a few weeks. I suppose I should just call her though!

I've already gone through a huge journey to decide homebirth after my mom telling me I was trying to kill her grandchild by having homebirth and having to figure out financially how we can do this (we really CAN NOT afford it), but I just read "birthing from within" and just really examined my heart I *know* I must do this and will regret it if I don't.

Truthfully, I am more scared of bright lights, being stuck on a bed again, having random nurses in and out, no privacy, feeling inhibited to birth how i need to, being asked over and over if I'm ready from my epi, etc etc...

Our house is teeny tiny, not even sure it will fit a birthing tub, but we'll make it work, right??

How are you all doing? I'd love for us to be able to support each other through this journey.
post #2 of 55
I am here We are planning a UC, so a little different Our apt. isn't huge either, but i will move all the furniture if i need to, to fit the pool in Everything WILL work out Sorry about your mom I would put some boundaries up in that situation. This is what we have decided, and it is not up for discussion (something like that, i had to tell my mom too, she is pretty uncomfy with the idea of UC, and i havent even told the IL's yet-lol)
post #3 of 55
I am also UC'ing - but birthing at home nonetheless! I actually had a "conversation" with my baby and I got this weird feeling of where in my house I would give birth - I felt the overpowering urge to move my house around to accomodate what I saw...I feel extremely at peace now with my tiny apartment being the way I saw it - a huge stress reliever!

As far as money goes...it sucks! lol...In Canada, if I have a hospital birth with a doc - the hosptical and doc get money from the government, if I have a homebirth with mw - the mw get money, if I have a hospital birth with mw - they both get money...so I figure that if I am having a homebirth unassisted - I should get their money...government doesnt see it that way
post #4 of 55
DH just (today!) agreed to meet with a homebirth midwife, so we might be doing one...not sure yet...I really want to
post #5 of 55
I'm here too. This will be our 3rd HB so our family is pretty used to it by now. Though not always approving. My mom is wonderful, but DH's mother is always a skeptic. My father is the absolute worst. He questions everything we do, thinks our pre natal appointments are done in a dark cave and is pretty sure that everyone will die on the day of the birth. I know he is just being a dad, and he tries to keep it to himself, but I feel it.
But I feel very comfortable with our MW who also attended ds1 and was supposed to be there for ds2's birth, but didn't make it. I do love feeling that this community is so supportive of HB and I am totally subbing to this thread!!
post #6 of 55
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by eli's mama View Post
I do love feeling that this community is so supportive of HB and I am totally subbing to this thread!!
I love that too! Seriously I have absolutely NO support or understanding in real life so it's so nice to come on here and feel "normal" about this kind of stuff haha.
post #7 of 55
We're slowly meanding our way along to our UC. I'm feeling more like I'm "really" pregnant now that my belly is bulging and I sometimes feel flutterings.

All this talk of family and their reactions to homebirth makes me cringe. My Mom, who is quite involved in our life, is totally on board with homebirth but doesn't know I'm planning to UP/UC. I don't think I'll be getting much support from her at all when I break the news, and I'll likely get lots of passive agressive jabs as is usually the case when I do things she disagrees with. Ah well, I'll just have to ignore it and look to the support I do have.

I weighed myself yesterday for the first time since getting pregnant and I was very happy to see that I'm up 4 lbs for the whole first trimester. After doing so well with losing weight this summer, I've been making poor food choices which I guess are kind of inevitable when you get into the fatigue and overall ickiness of the first trimester. I'd been worried that I'd already gained 10 lbs, so I'm happy with the much more reasonable gain that I've actually had.
post #8 of 55
Me! I have my first appointment with my MW this Wed.! I'm excited! Not that there will be much to do besides draw blood and chat a bit, since I'll be just 13 wks. But, oh, it'll make this feel a bit more real somehow. And I've convinced DH that he either needs to watch the kids while I go to my appts or else come along to help out... I have visions of DD2 screaming on the floor while MW feels for fundus height.

No need to tell the family we're planning a homebirth, it's our 3rd and they're resigned to the idea by now. Unfortunately, my mom is the least supportive of all of them, and the one I wish would watch my kids during labor. She did agree to do it for DD2's birth though... but didn't make it on time... which was ok because DD1 slept through the birth and came in 5 minutes after her sister was born. Perfect!
post #9 of 55
Me! I am excited and scared. :

My mom luckily was actually pretty cool. She is slightly skeptical, but overall supportive. I was surprised. My MIL we have not told. She had two (seemingly) unnecesarans, and thinks that Drs are gods.
post #10 of 55
Thread Starter 
yeah... we probably won't tell anyone else until after the fact. My FIL is an OBGYN and they live far enough away that it's not going to "come up"... we see them a few times a year.
post #11 of 55
We're planning on our fourth home birth. The only problem is, we live outside the cachement of our midwifery practise, so they may not be able to make it to our place. We will have to have a back-up chosen where we could birth the baby. I'm hoping that it will work out to be at our house, but our other three homebirths were at other people's houses, so I am sure we can make it work again.

Our families are pretty comfortable with our decision to have the baby at home (2 of the babies were born at my parents-in-law's, the other at my sister-in-law's). But here in Ontario midwifery care is pretty standard. I just wish we had more to choose from, closer to home! At least I got one, I was so worried about that early in the pregnancy, it caused me to lose sleep for a few nights.
post #12 of 55
We're having a homebirth. DH and I are both excited about it. My DD was born in the hospital because we lived with my in-laws and there was no way I could have a HB in their house with them everywhere, disapproving. This time around we've set clear boundaries with comments over our birthing choices. No one in either of our families approves of homebirth. Too bad for them.

We saw the midwife we're going to use for an interview, just asked basic questions...mainly my DH settling any lingering fears. We have what she calls the screening appointment on the 12th of this month. I'm hoping we can hear the heart beat then, I'll be 12 weeks.

Homebirth with a midwife isn't legal in my state, so that complicates things a little. She has it worked out so that she can bill insurance after the birth, but you have to pay in full upfront before the birth. Then what the insurance covers you will get a refund check for. We have no clue where we are going to get the money. That's the only thing I am nervous about. I have my fingers crossed for a nice big tax return check!!
post #13 of 55
I am planning a HB too.

We actually qualify for medicaid, but it doesn't cover it. So, I am planning to pay for half with my student loan, and half with our tax return.

My mom is very supportive, but my MIL is very medical oriented, so we are just not going to tell her until after the baby is born.

Also, I'm not sure "where" our home is going to be either. But my m/w said she'll travel anywhere in the area for me
post #14 of 55
Originally Posted by lindsayjean View Post
yeah... we probably won't tell anyone else until after the fact. My FIL is an OBGYN and they live far enough away that it's not going to "come up"... we see them a few times a year.
post #15 of 55
I'm not sure if I'll have a homebirth or not. My last 2 births were wonderful homebirths, but this time I am considering a hospital. We'll see. For now, I'm going to see an OB and my midwife, until I *know* what I'm meant to do.
post #16 of 55
Yep, we will be having our second homebirth.
We tried crunchy hospitals, a mainstream hospital, birthcenter... there is nothing better than a homebirth!
Midwives are state funded, so thankfully money is not something we need to worry about. And yes, because they are paid by the state, you don't get to pick your midwife, but I am lucky that I like all the midwives I see.

I will need to see the hospital consultant once, and I am not looking forward to it because last time they spent 30 minutes trying to bully and scare me I to NOT having a homebirth (you know... I had so many kids that I am now a ticking time bomb and will bleed to death during labour )

Anyway, for those considering HB, GO FOR IT! There is no better place to give birth to your baby than at home!
post #17 of 55
We are either having our 3rd homebirth (one was unattended and one was midwife assisted) or we are having our first birth center birth. I'm not sure which I want yet. LOL. I'm leaning towards homebirth but we have my mom living with us and 4 kids hanging around. LOL. I like to be in solitude, left alone in labor. Wont happen with everyone in this house haha. But I cant imagine driving 40 minutes to the birth center and all that jazz. ughh..
post #18 of 55
This will be our first home birth! We have decided on a midwife and will probably start care within a couple of weeks. I am very happy with our choice and can't wait to start care.

Our midwife lives about 1.5 hours away from us, and we travel to her for most prenatal visits. She obviously comes to us for the birth and I am really looking forward to it.

Financially, it's tough. While we have been blessed in that we were recently approved for insurance that will reimburse us the cost of HB, we still have to pay the midwife, then she bills the insurance and they send us back the money. Is that a possibility for you? Many insurance companies will be hesitant unless you specifically say "A certified midwife in the state of ...." Check your options.

I wish you the best of luck... you CAN have a homebirth!
post #19 of 55
This will be my 2nd homebirth. I'm am really looking forward to it. My ds1 was born in the hospital and it was the most powerless I've ever felt. Birthing ds2 at home I always felt totally in control and afterwards just felt super! I'm really excited about doing it again.

Fortunately, I have a lot of friends who have hombirthed so there is a lot of support. My family is supportive as well, having seen that the last homebirth turned out just fine. And, my insurance covers everything except for a few supplies 100%. I think last time I ended paying $200 out of pocket, and most of that was for my birth tub, which I own now.
post #20 of 55
First time mom, first homebirth! It was a long road to making the decision to stay at home, I started reading up on pregnancy and birth almost 3 years ago, and we weren't even considering trying to conceive until a year from now (surprise!) I went from "are you kidding, I am so getting that epidural!" to "maybe I'll go natural at the hospital and they better not induce me" to "a birth center sounds like a good compromise" to finally "why would I want to go anywhere where their policy matters more than my personal circumstance when I could just stay home". I'd even feel ok ucing and agree with a lot of the uc philosophy.

We've had our midwife picked out from the beginning, because it's my MIL. A lot of women cringe at that, and obviously it wouldn't work for all families, but I really do like my in-laws, trust mil's knowledge and agree with her hands off philosophy for birth. It's a little complicated by the fact that we don't live in the same state, but her midwifery school is near us (they offer correspondence courses for a lot of things) and so she has referred me to some of her midwife friends in our area for whatever prenatal things I can't do myself/over the phone with her. I went to see a midwife near us for the initial bloodwork, and I am perfectly capable of measuring my fundus and peeing on the test strips she gave me. I'll either buy a blood pressure cuff or just go down to the walmart to check. We're staying with them now and had a little prenatal/childbirth class today and she'll be coming down a couple of times for various other things and to check up on me and sil who is also pregnant. One of the advantages of her not being licensed in our state is that she can't get in trouble for not administering eye ointment or delivering past due/breech/whatever variation of normal babies. And then you can't beat the price, since she's not charging us (bless her!) She'll come down to stay with us when I'm about 36 weeks and stay until a week after the birth.

Obviously the in-laws are down with the homebirth thing. I haven't really told my mom yet. I mentioned a thing or two when I was reading up on birth, and she knows MIL is a midwife, but her knee jerk reactions to the idea of homebirth were along the lines of "oh my gosh that's dangerous!" I'm hoping that when she learns more about it she'll be fine. My sister asked when we were there for christmas so I told her, she was curious about a few things as she had her three at the hospital, but was pretty chill. It's likely that she's told mom, but mom hasn't said anything to me about it at all yet.
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