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I'm worried and sad (think I'm in labor) *Update #35**Update #42*

post #1 of 50
Thread Starter 
I think I'm in labor.

The contractions started at 5:15pm and were about 10 minutes apart at that time. I decided to get up and walk around, because a lot of times that stopped them. It didn't stop them, just made them less painful. Then about 45 minutes ago they started coming every 5 minutes. I have a backache all this time and with most contractions it feels as if he's descending a bit, and I have some CM that comes out.

So I decided to call my midwife. She had said a while back that she would do a birth at 36 weeks, but it was on a case by case basis (I'm 36 and 4 tomorrow). Well she thinks my babies are small (7.3 at 41 weeks, 7.11 at 40 weeks, and 7.9 at 41 weeks) and when she feels him at my appointments says that he is on the smaller side.

When I called her she was concerned and said that she wanted him to cook longer, 38 weeks being ideal. That he was too small. How accurate is the feeling of the size of baby? Anyway, she's on the way to the hospital to see her mother in law who is dying as well.

I know 36 weeks is early but I did not want to have to do a hospital birth. I was also kind of sad that she was so worried and really wanted it to stop because it made me more fearful.

She wants me on bedrest and drinking wine, water etc. and to call her back in 30 minutes to see how it's doing. I'm so scared it won't stop and I'll have to go to the hospital. I really wanted my homebirth. And my midwife would probably not be able to come anyway (an apprentice would). This is not the way I envisioned by birth.

I guess I'm going to go try and time them again...they feel like they're coming closer now.
post #2 of 50
I'm so sorry mama. I know it's not what you expected but I still hope you have a beautiful birth and you and your little one are healthy. Try not to stress too much. Sending you peaceful and happy labor vibes..maybe you will be meeting your baby soon!
post #3 of 50
I planned a UC (but transferred during labor for care)so take my comments FWIW. (I'm not in this DDC either just saw it come up under new posts)

I personally would have had no problem birthing at home at 36 weeks. I think it depends on your comfort level though.

Would weight alone be something to worry about? If there was a problem you could always transfer. How far is the hospital from you?

Sounds like she has other things going on her life truthfully..is the hospital her MIL at the one she wants you to go to?

take a deep breathe..take a bath, eat and/ rest.

also does she have a backup?
post #4 of 50
Thread Starter 
Thanks mama.

I don't know, I get the feeling that he will be okay. But it's not really up to me I guess...I'm not comfortable UCing although I with I was. lol

I think the issue with the weight is might he have a harder time breathing due to that? I looked up online and read something about 4% of babies born at 36 weeks have trouble feeding/breathing.

I'm not really sure how she's feeling at this point about hospital versus home. She seemed really concerned about it being this early.

Yes, she does have backups and she was going to call one of them.

I'm waiting for my dh to get home with the wine so that I can try to bedrest them away.

oh ETA: the hospital she's going to is not the same one I'd be going to. She lives an hour away from me!
post #5 of 50

we're here for you
post #6 of 50
Thread Starter 
Well she just called back and said if I were to be in labor that I would have to go the hospital at this point.

I want to cry now.
post #7 of 50
I don't understand why though? Our birth center (AZ) lets you labor at 36 weeks..maybe it is different where you are?

Try to relax Follow your instincts.
post #8 of 50
hang in there, mama!

as far as the accuracy of feeling the size of the baby? the back-up ob and the head midwife independently came up with an approximation of 8lbs for my last little guy. he was born 2 days later, tipping the scales at a healthy 10lbs. granted, he was 20" long~ not terribly long given his weight, but a hefty little guy, nonetheless.

trust your instincts, mama. you know in your heart what is best for you both.
post #9 of 50
sorry you have all these worries. try to relax... kind of useless advice, i guess, but we're all thinking of you and wishing you and your LO the best.
post #10 of 50
Thread Starter 

I've felt this whole time that he wouldn't be late like my others. I was just crying to my husband about the hospital issue. I really really don't want to go. I don't think it's necessary but I'm not sure I have much of a choice.

Still resting, still contracting.
post #11 of 50
If you really feel like you should be at home and like it will be ok at home I would call the mw back and discuss it more with her. How close are you to a hospital if you do need help with something?
post #12 of 50
Originally Posted by Kimmiepie View Post

I've felt this whole time that he wouldn't be late like my others. I was just crying to my husband about the hospital issue. I really really don't want to go. I don't think it's necessary but I'm not sure I have much of a choice.

Still resting, still contracting.
Why do you not think you have a choice? If you decide to birth at home just tell your midwife you are birthing at home. You shouldn't have to fight for this if you feel ok about it! if it is something you feel strongly about maybe take a closer look at why. (not that labor is the time for self analysis but it IS important..). Maybe you could make a compromise that she comes to check you out at home before transferring care? How far is your hospital?

Good luck. Everything will be ok whatever you decide! Just visualize your healthy baby and talk to him/her.
post #13 of 50
I hope everything turns out ok for you mamma.
post #14 of 50
I know now is not when you want to be fighting this battle - but your baby's maturity is not dependent on weight alone! Would she refuse to attend you three days from now, when you are full-term? Have your other babies had any issues that would indicate your babies need to cook longer?

If I were you I'd call her back and tell her you are unwilling to give up your homebirth and you would like her to call a back-up if she can't be there to do her job. Maybe call her bluff and tell her you'll UC if she doesn't. I think she's being ridiculous and I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Man, I'd be mad.

post #15 of 50
Oh mama I would be mad! It is her job to take care of you and if she can't jump when you say how high she needs to have a back up that will! It is nonsense that she can't come to you, check on you, monitor your labor, give you some reasurence and THEN make a call on the situation. How sure are you on dates? How far from the hospital? I am a HBer and an advocate for it as well as UC, as long as those involved are trained enough and equiped with the tools they would need if things are not of routine in nature should occur. If you aren't comfortable with ANY sitution, leave it. I am NOT a fan of hospitals but I agree with there presence if there is a PROBLEM. Barely 36 weeks is a little early for MY comfort zone but it might not be for you. Go with your gut and get your MW or her backup over there immedetly! They work for you!
post #16 of 50
Oh, yeah, I wanted to add that as well: 37 weeks was the cut-off for my MW, though we never had a close call so I don't know if she would have attended a HB earlier. I DO know, however, that had I needed an early hospital birth, she would have gone with me as a doula. If I have to transfer now, at full-term, she will go with me as a doula. It is her job to support me in my birth whether or not it works out as a perfect homebirth. I have not only entrusted her with this, I've paid her a whole lot of money to do that job!

So, let me say again: If your midwife isn't going to show up to do her job - which is to support your birth - she needs to send a backup that will. NOW.
post #17 of 50
I know in NH you have to 37 weeks to be able to "qualify" for a MW assisted HB. Not sure about TX, but I will say - go by your gut. You know your body and baby better than anyone else in this world! If your midwife is uncomfortable caring for you, unfortunately you will have to make the decision, hospital or uc?

Good luck, Mama! Hope you are feeling better to know that either way - you get to hold your beautiful baby very soon!!

I'm going through the same labor stuff tonite (almost exactly - I'm 41wks + 3 days though) so maybe we'll both be holding our babies soon!!

post #18 of 50
Your midwife is right on some level...if you can stop labor by resting, drinking water or wine, taking herbs, taking baths with magnesium, or even by going into a hospital and having a shot of terbutaline so that you can make it just 3 more days, you will be at 37 weeks.

Your baby is probably fine...fwiw I had my second son at 35 weeks and my third at 31. Both were breathing and healthy at birth, although my younger son did spend one month in the hospital. I personally would be comfortable with a homebirth at almost 37 weeks. Unless your midwife is worried about IUGR, a normal but small baby should be okay. My youngest son, Zephan, was able to breathe and breastfeed when he was just 4 1/2 pounds and the equivalent of 34 weeks. This is not true of every baby - some struggle to breathe or eat at 36 or 37 weeks - but you could always transfer after the baby was born too.
post #19 of 50
Sorry things aren't going the way you wanted.

I've had two births that didn't go as planned. I know it's difficult to deal with. (Still is.) You never know, maybe there' a reason it's supposed to work out this way.

I hope you're happy and holding your little one now.
post #20 of 50
Hope you guys are doing ok.
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