How do I tell my boss I need maternity leave NOW?

[acory23]

So I commute every morning by driving from my town to the next town over and take the commuter boat to Boston everyday. Walk from the warf to the office (5 blocks or so) work a full day, and then back to the warf and commute on the boat. The city is icy (ive fallen 3 times) and cold and the walk is KILLING me. I am also worried that as I get closer to "the big day" what happens if I go into labor while at work? I have to wait for a boat back home... have to walk to the boat? Driving is even less of an option because traffic is a nightmare.
So on top of the physical stress and the worry of the impending birth happening while I am an hour away from home... my job is vry stressful. I work in a fast paced high stress environment.
And I have been having TONS of contractions and twinges and whatnot lately. I am tired all the time. Its just wearing on me.

So I need to tell my boss I dont feel comfortable with coming into work anymore. Sounds easy enough, right? I could just say "my midwife doesnt feel comfortable with me going into the office anymore" and thats the end of it... except... I work for my mother in law. If I tell her that, she will freak out and think something is wrong. She already thinks I am taking an "unnecessary risk" by having a homebirth. There are two sides to her personality as there are two sides to our relationship.

On one hand, we have the caring concerned mother in law/grandmother who is concerned for my wellbeing, almost overbearing.
On the other hand, we have the cut-throat, type A, driven business woman.

I took this job because she and I had worked out a deal that was better than the one I had with my previous employer. They didnt want me to take more than 3 weeks leave. She offered me this job and I took it under the pretense that I would start working from home when I felt like I could no longer come into the office. But now that we are at year end/beginning, its almost like she is in denial about my being pregnant. She INSISTS that I go into the office up until I go into labor. See, she had several BAD bookkeepers who made a large mess. I had hoped to have the mess cleaned up before maternity leave but now that is not looking realistic. I hve cleaned up a large portion of it and gotten the comapny out of a crisis but its still not all squeaky clean (by mess I mean they have screwed up everything from payroll to payables to recievables and taxes.) Shes not ready to let me go yet.

Yet when she is in MIL mode and not boss mode, she is overly concerned for my safety and wellbeing. Almost to an annoying extent!

How do I approach this subject? DH and I have been trying to "stimulate" and "enduce" in hopes that I would have the baby before having to go back to work on Monday. And damn it, I thought I had it lastnight but it was a false alarm. I just have this deep intense fear/anxiety, I daresay premonition that I am going to start labor while in the office and not be able to make it home in time and be forced to go to a strange hospital to have the baby. I know its a bit irrational on my part but...

[jr'smom]

On one hand I would say, just tell her yuo're not up to it anymore and you'd be more productive working from home. Gently remind her this is one of the reasons you were so excited to start working for her to begin with. The business woman side of her may respect the direct approach the best.

On the other hand, the caring concerned MIL may suggest you start working from home if your DH tells her how physically tasking and dangerous (cold and slippery) it is for you to be making that commute everyday. If he expresses his concern, will that be enough to kick in her concern and for her to act upon it? A little risky.

[racidoodle]

it's always so tricky with family.
i think jr'smom's advice is great. i'd be much more inclined to get upset and emotional and make things worse.
no matter how you look at it, you truly will be safer and better off working from home. and your mental state is as important as your physical state.
i hope it goes well and you can avoid going in tomorrow.

[acory23]

Originally Posted by jr'smom

On the other hand, the caring concerned MIL may suggest you start working from home if your DH tells her how physically tasking and dangerous (cold and slippery) it is for you to be making that commute everyday. If he expresses his concern, will that be enough to kick in her concern and for her to act upon it? A little risky.

AH, that is my ace in the hole. DH, MIL, and I have an agreement that he is to not get involved in professional matters. (what happens at work stays at work type of thing) because if I were working for anyone other than his mom, he wouldnt be able to just call my boss and say "hey, I dont feel comfortable with her working anymore."

[acory23]

I have decided that, depending on how I feel, I will go in tomorrow and sit down in her office with her and talk to her about it. Maybe even work out a schedule change. I already work from home on Fridays so maybe I could increase the number of my work at home days and/or shorten office days. Unfortunately, I dont think she is going to be in the office tomorrow because she has the flu. Then again, knowing her, she probably will be in. (this is the woman who caught a parasite in the bahamas, had to be admitted into the hospital because she almost had a heart attack as the result of said parasite, demanded to be discharged before the doctors felt comfortable with letting her go, and within 24 hours she was up at midnight painting her kitchen and catching up on business emails)

Love her like my own mother but can you say "PSYCHO!?!!"

[MeepyCat]

You keep slipping and falling. It is *cold* in this town this time of year, and it is *icy*, and you know where the budget crisis is hitting? Sidewalk clearing, that's where.

I would tell her that you keep falling on the way into work, and you and your midwife are concerned that your balance is very bad at this stage, and you and the baby could get hurt. You need to work from home. That way you've expressed the danger, but not added to her perception of the riskiness of homebirth.

[fek&fuzz]

would taking the commuter rail to south station make your commute better or worse? the parking lot is so much smaller at the train station, and there isn't the wind/water combo that the boat has.

[acory23]

Originally Posted by fek&fuzz

would taking the commuter rail to south station make your commute better or worse? the parking lot is so much smaller at the train station, and there isn't the wind/water combo that the boat has.

The boat doesnt really bother me, I actually enjoy the peacful commute on the boat. I work in Liberty Square so unfortunately the boat is closer and more convenient. The smaller parking lot would be GREAT (less walking) but I generally have been lucky enough lately to be early enough to get decent parking fairly close. *knocks on wood*

[KayTeeJay]

What a hard situation! Can you work from home at all? Or only go in two days a week or something? I feel bad about crabbing to my husband now about my job--my office is 10 minutes from home and I get to park right up front, and I'm still dreading making it through the next two weeks before my maternity leave starts.

[acory23]

Well, DH beat me to the punch. He talked to his mom today and she said she would like me to come in tomorrow so we can discuss arrangements and I think that is my last day in office! YAY :

[Meg08]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! If you continue to work though, have you considered getting ice shoes? I don't know the propper name, but slip over your boots/shoes and have tiny spikes on them that dig into the ice and prevent slipping. I have worn mine a couple of times and they are wonderful! The other thought I had was to see if MIL could drive you back home if you do go into labor at work, or could DH pick you up? Or work the middle half of the day to avoid rush hour (and, of course, reduced hours!). Good luck with whatever happens tomorrow!

[ILoveMotherhood]

Wow, another fellow boat commuter! I hope you were able to work things out with MIL and come up with a better situation until your LO arrives. I took the boat until 39 weeks. I live in Plymouth but our parents all live on the south shore and take turns watching our son so we were stuck with a one hour drive to and from the boat on top of the 40 minutes boat ride/walk to the office. It also doesn't help that our OB is on the cape so should I go into labor at work it would take me at least 2 - 2 1/2 hours to get to the hospital. It just told my boss I would be working from home until baby comes and he didn't say I couldn't... Your situation seems much more complicated though... I'm due today and still no sign of baby making an appearance! I'm glad the commute is over though... I was tired of getting looks from the staff checking the tickets! My husband would always joke around with them and say, "Don't worry! Her water won't break on the water!" The usual reply was, "Good, our staff isn't trained to handle a situation like that..."