Boys and dolls?

[Heavenly]

How many of you let your boys play with dolls or specifically buy dolls for your boys? I do not want Elijah growing up with the gender roles so firmly defined. They already aren't in our home, DH is way more domestic than me. But I think boys should be able to play with dolls and girls should be able to play with trucks and so on. For this reason I have bought him a baby doll for Christmas (he will be 11 months old) and it did not bother me at all when he was playing dolls with his 2 1/2 year old girl cousin on Tuesday. My mother on the other hand thinks I am insane. So what do you do?

[TripkeHughes]

Let him play with the dolls, I would and plan to when ds is old enough. At this point he would only eat them

Trust your instincts.

[gret the great]

My son loves his "kissy baby"

We were in a toy department when my ds was 10 months old. He reached out for a little 5 inch doll and kissed its face. I had to buy it for him! My DH and I encourage him when he has coversations with the baby and especially when he gives it kisses! He likes kissy baby about the same as his toy train. If I had a dd, she'd get a tractor!

[lisamarie]

Good question. My ds is 5 years old and ever since he was 1, he has had a doll. At 1-2 yrs. he loved pushing his baby around in the stroller. Last year for Christmas he wanted "Little T". Its a boy doll that talks. He still plays with him. He also received this year for his birthday, a daddy and little boy cloth doll. The daddy comes with a sling. I wanted him to have a doll that was a good role model for him. I ordered it from one of my favorite catalogs called attachments. I believe the website is www.attachmentcatalog.com. Its a home based business and they have great attachment parenting, homebirth & breastfeeding goodies. I have ordered plenty from them and adore their stuff.

Good luck!

Warmly~

Lisa

[mybabybug]

cater has a little boy doll. of course, right now he could care less about it, but i don't want him to ever feel like he can't play with something just because he is a boy!

[lilyka]

I have never met a boy who didn't have a doll. I applaud parents who search high and low for dolls thier sons can relate to. I think playing with dolls does the same things for boys that it does for girls: prompts creative play, builds social skills, encourages tenderness and loving feelings towards younger children and builds a foundation for parenting skills. (my dd burse there dolls to and pumps when she has to be away. I want them to always have nursing in the front of thier minds). That said I bout her a sweet set of trucks and heavy machinary for her birthday. Kids play. It is how they grow. The more they play and the wider thier selection for play is the more they will grow.

[zzzz97]

I don't think there's anything that my daughter plays with that I wouldn't allow my son to enjoy. I think dolls are fine with boys. My 5 mo. old son loves to slobber all of the face to his cabbage patch kid soft baby. He's so intrigued with the facial features(for 15 seconds at a time). I do wonder when/if my son will ever ask to play with all the beautiful play dresses that my daughter loves. And if he does what do you say there???

[lisamarie]

Yesterday, as my ds and I were shopping for his cousin's b-day present, he said..."Mom, we need to get her a backpack for her doll, then if she is busy cooking dinner and the baby is crying, the baby can be close to her." Awwwwwww,

Warmly~

Lisa

[3boysmom]

All three of my boys have had baby dolls. They all loved and played with them regularly when small (1-3 years) but I have to say that the baby dolls went forgotten in the corner (along with their great play kitchen) after about age 2.5. My youngest, who is almost 5, still has his beautiful handmade earth friends boy doll and sleeps with it every night, but none of them have any interest at all in playing with them. We finally gave our kitchen to a neighbor whose little girl loved it and played with it constantly while at our house. I was so sorry to see it go, but no one else misses it.

[sleepies]

we use dolls

i have a doll house.
my 9 year old son LOVES to play with me.
he usually uses the male figures. on his own accord.

we have a little baby doll that my 10 month old likes to play with.


i also play "barbie" and my 9 year old is "ken". we have fun!

it teaches him how to be a nice grown up. his "ken" goes to work...takes barbie on dates... and is a nice dude

[Golden]

My ds who is 2 years, 4 months has a doll that we got from a yard sale (classic hard head and soft stuffed body). We got is aoubt 9 months ago and recently within the last 3 or 4 months, he plays with it all the time. Around the same time my best friend had a new baby boy and we are taking care of him once a week. My ds now lifts up his shirt to nurse his baby all on his own even with no other baby in the house. When we are taking care of the new little guy he likes to immitate what I am doing, patting his back, changing his clothes etc. Very sweet and gentle. Love the nursing part. "I need to nurse baby because he is crying."

Can't wait to see if thi s continues......

-Golden

[Ms. Mom]

When dd was 1 and ds was 4 I made them both Waldor Dolls for x-mass. Ds had an 'imaginary' friend Kamdon. So I made his doll look like what he described. I tucked the dolls in bed with them and my son woke up X-Mass morning running in my room "Mom, Kamdon is real - but I know you made him for me". He's now 7 - Kamdon is pretty worn out looking, but it's still ds's favorite sleepin' buddy. He dosn't tote it around, but he loves it at night time. I think it's sooooo sweet! Right now, we're looking for a doll sized guitar so Kamdon can 'jam' with him (hee, hee, hee).

[gret the great]

The last time I posted about this, my DS was interested in kissing his baby. Now he makes sure that if he picks up a baby doll (or stuffed bunny or toy lizaed for that matter) he puts it in his lap for "nana" (nursing). DH and I are very encouraging!

[sagewinna]

Originally posted by zzzz97
I don't think there's anything that my daughter plays with that I wouldn't allow my son to enjoy. I think dolls are fine with boys. My 5 mo. old son loves to slobber all of the face to his cabbage patch kid soft baby. He's so intrigued with the facial features(for 15 seconds at a time). I do wonder when/if my son will ever ask to play with all the beautiful play dresses that my daughter loves. And if he does what do you say there???

My ds, who is 8, has played with dolls his whole life. He plays with the dollhouse, he plays with the play kitchen.

He and my dd and niece swapped clothes last summer for a few days, and he wore a lovely Easter dress. I told him the neighbor kids might tease him, but that it was perfectly fine to dress up. He went outside, and the neighbor kids did say something to him, but he explained why he was wearing the dress and they thought it was cool!

He has also been known to wear a tutu.

My friends son went through a period where he wore barettes like his sister.

I remember while growing up having my brother wear high heels to play in. He is very secure in his masculinity.

Role-playing is normal in kids. Wanting to wear something that is cool or different is normal. I'd say let him wear a dress if he wants!

[telekinetic pyro]

How old is too old though? My cousin (male) has a huge collection of Barbies and dresses up in play dresses and tiara that my grandma picked up at garage sales for my other cousins to play with. My aunt and uncle have asked that she get rid of them because they don't think an 11 year old boy needs to be playing dress up and since he is the youngest, they don't think it should be an issue. She is hanging on to them for my step-daughter to play with when she comes to visit and she thinks there is nothing wrong with Robert dressing up. I would say there is nothing wrong with playing dress up and with dolls but at some point enough is enough. I doubt highly that I would allow an 11 year old boy to play in ball gowns and fairy wings. What do you all think?

[Teresa]

Boys should be allowed to play with whatever they want!

My grandmother talks about how my father wanted a baby-doll when he was a child, and not just any baby-doll, it had to be an AA baby! (His family is French/English)
She said they just didn't make ethnic dolls back then and it was very hard to find but she finally did!
My brothers had them growing up, and because I was the eldest, probably played with them (at my insistence) longer than most.

As for the 11 y.o., would it be OK for an 11 y.o. niece (sp?) to revel in playing Construction worker/ Pirate/ Football coach?
My youngest brother loved to dress-up and play at everything (although I was in a Barbie-free family) because the older kids encouraged him to do so.

He was a brilliant actor in middle- and high-school and he still "dresses up" as an adult! (He's a Civil War Re-enactor).

Rather than curtailing the child's fantasy/imaginative play, perhaps re-direct it to another outlet that his family isn't so anxious about--take him to the theater, find a youth drama club, etc.

Is their concern that he plays in this way at all, or does he play exclusively at this. And, of course, does he, as the youngest, get a lot of resultant attention (pos. or neg.) that he might not otherwise receive?

My son (like my daughter) will get a waldorf-style looks-like-him doll handmade by my mother, along with matching outfits for it every time she makes him one! Of course, there will be other dolls, too.

Dolls are just fine for boys. I'm not sure, though, that Barbies are good for anyone! (half-kidding)

Just my thoughts!

[telekinetic pyro]

Originally posted by Teresa
As for the 11 y.o., would it be OK for an 11 y.o. niece (sp?) to revel in playing Construction worker/ Pirate/ Football coach?

In our family? Probably not. All the girls were raised pretty much as boys and encouraged away from dolls and towards trucks and war toys (my dad and uncle have both been in the military at various points) I think that is what distrubes his family so much. His sister is all boy but he isn't

Is their concern that he plays in this way at all, or does he play exclusively at this. And, of course, does he, as the youngest, get a lot of resultant attention (pos. or neg.) that he might not otherwise receive?

I'm not sure that his parents are all that concerned that it is his only form of play (which it is) they are worried that he will turn out gay because he still participates in this kind of play. And that goes against the man's man image of my uncle. Unfortunately, about the only time he does get attention is when he is playing with his dolls or wearing a dress He is a little slow and his parents pretty much ignore him. It is really sad. I'm sure he is probably doing this because that is the only time his parents notice he is alive but pointing that out to them is futile.

I was just curious how you all felt about a boy that age playing with dolls. I guess I should have said in my last post that I highly doubt I would let a boy that age play exclusively with dolls or in dress up

[K&JsMaMa]

I have always let my boys play with dolls if they want to. My boys have never asked for a baby of their own but if we go to friends house and there are babies they will play with them.

I have two boys and I will encourage them to play with babies and praise them for being such good "daddies". They love this. My older son is sooooo gentle with the 2 year old. He loves to help wash him, he gets him up from his naps and they absolutely have to kiss eachother good night or good bye.

Both of them are also crazy about animals and stuffed animals. My older son had a bed full of them. So many that he barely had room to sleep. Now all but the most special one is in their special "bed". The 2 year old has a crib full and dozens more on the toy box.

Anyhoot, I think it is great that so many parents are allowing and encouraging their sons to be gentle and loving.

[khrisday]

I accidentally Good Willed my 6 year old's doll and I need to get him a new one. He has his sister like to play dolls sometimes and he likes to take a doll in the bath. I think it is perfectly natural for boys to play with dolls and girls to play with trucks, how can we expect our men to grow up and be loving fathers and nuturing husbands unles they practice??? There is an awesome book called "William's Doll" about a boy who wants a doll, I highly suggest it.

[angela&avery]

i bought my son dolls too!!! He has two of them, though he rarely plays with them. He is 11 mo. and already prefers his trucks!!LOL I wanted him to have all kinds of toys too, actually i think my friend is buying him the barbie beetle for his birthday cuz he like her daughters, and i think we will get him a couple of barbies to go in it............