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This too shall pass, this too shall pass....

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Someone chant with me now! I am all for attatchment parenting, but holy cow! I can't do anything!!!!!! If this kid is not being held or worn, she is not a happy camper. I am large breasted and she has a tongue tie, so bf has to be done sitting down with the Brest friend pillow, or it is extremely painful. Oh, by the way, she has a dairy intolerance(not horrible, but enough I have to be dairy free), so our whole diet is changing as well. I know it will all pass eventually, but I am afraid my house is going to collapse under the laundry pile by the time it does. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!


THat felt good to get out...sigh.
post #2 of 19
I hear ya! I was just posting on another forum about how my baby won't nap anywhere but in my arms and I can't get anything done, I need a shower, to do laundry, dishes, etc.

I think we are starting to recover enough from childbirth that we are ready to get busy around the house, but our little ones have other plans. What to do!?!

My new plan is to shower when DH is home, make sure dishes and laundry are worked on when he is home and house is relatively clean (with either he or I doing the cleaning while the other one holds the baby) so that once he is gone to work, I don't feel such pressure to "get something done" and can relax and enjoy this little guy.

Its funny, my BIL just commented recently how he remembers those days where he had to hold my little nephew like 6 hours straight...now he is zooming around the house and can't be bothered to be held at 9 mos. So it does pass, and probably all too quickly!

ETA: we're dairy-free too! My LO is really sensitive (he had allergic colitis with bleeding) and so I haven't dared have a smidgen of dairy since he is finally healing. But I don't miss it much, really. Makes me be more creative in my cooking and cook more from scratch, so in the end I think its making me healthier, though I hope that it passes too eventually. I do miss cheese. And cream in my coffee! mmmm
post #3 of 19
i hear you!
i switched over to goats milk for my dairy and noticed a HUGE difference in how my dd sleeps at night, i now get 2 4 hour chunks with just 20 or so minutes in between for nursing and diaper change!!!!:
seriously if you can get it i would recommend using goats milk as a substitute because it tastes almost just like cows milk and can be used the same, but the proteins dont act the same in your breastmilk.
my lo is strapped on me right now taking her nap. i can usually get a few dishes put away and a load of laundry switched from washer to dryer like this, so its not too bad. i use a moby wrap, so i am totally hands free while she sleeps.
once i get the back carry down with my other wrap i think i will be able to get a TON of stuff done, it just takes a lot of practice.
but yeah, my house is not perfect anymore, but who cares! my baby is taken care of and that is all that matters.
post #4 of 19
Yeah, same here too. At 2 months old (today!) my DD is just barely starting to take a nap in her bed sometimes. Up until just about a week ago, she would only sleep in my arms or in the sling. I felt so frustrated about not being able to get stuff done or when I would do something, it would take me twice as long because I had to do it one-handed. I get really stressed when clutter adds up or when the house gets to a certain state of disaster, so things were bothering me. Just yesterday I broke down and cried because I realized how she is growing up so fast and the household stuff really doesn't matter. Now I am resolving to just try and enjoy this time because it will be gone so quickly.
post #5 of 19
i have also been chanting those wise words- this too shall pass. my baby cries every evening for at least 30 minutes and often longer and it is so sad and hard to hear. but i know everything changes quickly. and when shes happy and giving her first laughs well, you just cant beat it for how cute she is.
post #6 of 19
arismama, my LO has been doing the same crying thing... about 20-30 minutes of inconsolable crying. It's hard to hear but I have to say it's easier now this being my 3rd baby. I know it stops quickly and sometimes babies just need to cry to deal with the world, I think. It's hard, though!!

Oh, and OP, do you have a Moby? They're awesome for those babies that never want to be put down!
post #7 of 19
Right here with ya!
Dd has not been alone or with anyone else but me for more than 15 minutes unless she is in one of those deep sleeps. It's been tough. We've been trying to put her down more often as she's been awake more, but this transition period has been rough and she's been more cranky.
Dd1 has eczema and we are not doing dairy, soy, gluten, or eggs. The whole family gave them up about a month ago. Talk about tough times! But I don't have any issues with dd2 refluxing or anything, so that's nice.
My big issues lately have been with my 2.5 yo. She needs so much these days! But as you said "this too shall pass..."
post #8 of 19
this is a very helpful thread for me. my baby is only 3 (almost 4) weeks, so its good to know that what we are dealing with is so totally normal. as is the frustration with it. im tired of holding (or wearing) him! but i try and remind myself that these days will pass so quickly and i will miss them. i miss my twins being babies, and hardly remember them. so as hard as it is, i will try and cherish this time.

i guess for me, im trying to figure out how to take proper care of my older kids AND my baby. and myself.
post #9 of 19
On the one hand, I feel for all of you... but on the other hand, I hate all of you for being at home with your babies! I hope it gets better for you all soon! Maybe it will help you to be thankful that you get to have your babies at home and wear/hold them as much as you want! My DD will be 8 weeks on Thursday and has never been out of the hospital! (And I've only been home twice, for a total of 3 days, in the past 4 months!) I've never gotten to breastfeed her, cosleep with her, or put a cushy cloth diaper on her... You all have it great!
post #10 of 19
maintaining perspective is, I think, one of the hardest things of being a parent, especially with a newborn. I will always be greatful to my MIL for telling me, many times, to cherish them-meaning the babies,- and not to worry about the housework, the memories that you will hold dear, and the children as well as they grow, are not about wether or not all the laundry was done, and the kitchen floor spotless, but about the lulaby they were sung, and the times they were rocked. That is hard for me to remember, when it seems ever article of clothing that actually fits is in the laundry with spit up on it, but I know how fast they grow, and I don't want to miss a minute of it.
post #11 of 19
1ht

i'm from the oct ddc but reading mdc because my son is napping...in my arms of course! it does get a little better; i successfully put him down for a nap yesterday. but mostly he wakes up when i put him down. its hard bec i cant get anything done.
post #12 of 19
Oh man, did I need to re-read this thread tonight. We had 2 hours of crying tonight. Inconsolable, miserable crying. Gripe water helped or we thought it did, but then the novelty wore off so we knew it was not tummy or gas. We walked, we rocked, I nursed (and got barfed on, so much for the squeaky clean shower I got this morning), swaddled her, we held her, we put her down, we tried the vibrating chair, the swing, it went on and on with only brief moments of calm, reminiscent of K's reflux days. Then I offered her the breast again, she nursed and went to sleep and we were successfully able to transfer her to the cradle. K actually woke up at one point to find out why we weren't comforting her!

I do believe that she just needed to cry to release some tension and trying different things was upsetting her. So much for AP - prompt response and trying different things was the root of the problem!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AugustineM View Post
Oh, and OP, do you have a Moby? They're awesome for those babies that never want to be put down!
I have a Moby and a Moby D and they are incredible and priceless. If you don't have one, prowl over to diaperswappers FSOT or thebabywearer's FSOT and pick one up for $25 or so. I will most likely be putting my regular Moby up for sale on those two sites since I exchanged my MIL's present for one. Actually, since I bought the Moby, I've also bought a woven wrap to try because honestly, wearing her is sooo much easier than not and I'd like to try and look cool while I'm doing it LOL!
post #13 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by TefferTWH View Post
Oh man, did I need to re-read this thread tonight. We had 2 hours of crying tonight. Inconsolable, miserable crying. Gripe water helped or we thought it did, but then the novelty wore off so we knew it was not tummy or gas. We walked, we rocked, I nursed (and got barfed on, so much for the squeaky clean shower I got this morning), swaddled her, we held her, we put her down, we tried the vibrating chair, the swing, it went on and on with only brief moments of calm, reminiscent of K's reflux days. Then I offered her the breast again, she nursed and went to sleep and we were successfully able to transfer her to the cradle. K actually woke up at one point to find out why we weren't comforting her!

I do believe that she just needed to cry to release some tension and trying different things was upsetting her. So much for AP - prompt response and trying different things was the root of the problem!
...
my darling babe does this nightly and dh and i were talking about the whole "its just colic, nothing you can do" theory vs. the ap "hold them and try to comort them" theory. dh said he really believes her suffering would be much worse if we just let her cry. i agree and personally would not be able to hear her cry if i wasnt trying something, even if that something is walking with her up and down the stairs till my hips ache. but it is so hard when you really cannot do anything to help them other then hold them and wait it out.
post #14 of 19
I'm so sorry for you all dealing with this. I hope it passes FAST!
post #15 of 19
Lexi will only sleep if someone is holding her too. I got a good hour and a half this morning though by letting DD1 cuddle her in bed (I usually don't but DD1 LOVES to cuddle with her and is very gentle). I actually got two loafs of bread made and the soup for dinner. Then she woke up and realized Mommy wasn't there, she wasn't a happy camper.
Usually between 10pm and midnight I get an hour or two of crying and the only thing that helps is a warm bath or shower. She loves the water.
post #16 of 19
I have been having a hard time dealing with this uncontrollable crying too. DS1 only did it a handful of times his whole LIFE! DS2, seems to do it everyday. And DS1 loved his carseat (controversial topic, i know) I could put him in it, go shopping for the day and he was in heaven! This one HATES IT. The 5 minute drive from the daycare to home in the afternoons is the longest 5 minutes of my LIFE. Mostly because I hate that I cant do anything for him while hes in there screaming. He even has an imbillical hernia, I think from screaming so hard. The Doc says it will go away on its own, but GOODNESS. And all this screaming he does is while I am trying to change DS1, whip up a quick dinner, do a quick load of laundry, or get myself a shower or ready for work. So I am NOT trying to let him CIO, i know he is just to little for that. DH works long hours and is gone from about 8 in the morning til 6 or 7 at night. I am home by 4, so I am home alone with the kids for a few hours at night. Its vertually impossible to get anything done. I just asked a coworker how long his son was like this, and he said about 6 or 8 months! OYE!!!! I keep trying to look at the silver lining, that being that by about 7 or 8pm lately, he is done with his screaming, and sleeps relativly well. Lets hope I can keep THAT going.
post #17 of 19
Barbie, can you wear the baby? K had reflux and cried basically all the time, and wearing him really helped. Nora has just had two of these episodes, but I wear her a ton. I would say I wear her for about 2-5 hours a day in my Moby. I get lots done when she's worn and she's really content.

BTW, both of my kids have hated the car seat. I thought they were weird, but I really think that it's just torture for AP kids who are used to being held or worn all the time!
post #18 of 19
noonend get your daughter's frenulum clipped i had to do this with DS and it helped immensley, also I have large breast and the best thing about large breast nursinhg while lying down.I discovered this with DS andsuddenly i was able to get enough sleep. DD also has a night time crying jag sucks whwn it coincides with DS bed time. Start back to school tommorow
post #19 of 19
The best thing about this thread is:

I am NOT alone. You are NOT alone.

We've had crying jags, sleepless nights, screaming in the carseat while in the car, both children going bonkers and one setting the other one off, what in the heck did I eat to give this child so much gas moments, etc. I know all of this happened with DD (minus the BOTH kids going bonkers) but I swear I must have blocked much more out than I thought.

Whoever said that sometimes babies cry to deal with stuff, I think they are right. The comforting may not stop the need to cry, but them knowing we are still there for them probably goes farther that we will ever know.

Every time I think I'm at the end of my rope, DS will smile at me or DD will run up and hug me. Gotta love my emotionally in tune children.
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