Hi all,
I was the mother in trouble and now I feel safe to post because of the last things that happened. I was living in a very hard situation of emotional abuse with my husband, no hittings but I think that you don't need to be hited to hurt that much. It was just unbearable plus he threaten me to call immigration and tell them he wont sponsor me anymore and send me back to my country and will make arrangements so I wont see my daughter never again. My Visa stills as a tourist with a pending extension. Most of all our problems were because of all the big lies he told me before we got married, also some big family secrets and issues, his lack of anger management and because of the sick control of his parents in his and our lifes (they do control everything in his life, and makes him feel guilty if he doesn't follows them, plus I just discovered that their ego is so enourmous), plus he has some mental dissorders and refused to take medication, and the insults and mind games were terrible. So finally one day, and God helped me so much, I decided to leave to a Domestic Abuse and Violence Shelter with my baby. When I got there I found out that my case was really much risky than I thought, the abuse was really hard. Mostly I was so afraid of loosing her, as I was loosing my self in this relationship with out being able to fix it or end it because he refused it always. It was the best desition I could made, I felt really free and safe for a couple of days but I didn't want to go to the police because I was afraid of him having so many troubles as he has a record and also lied in his job about it, I didn't want to hurt anyone, and he will be forever my daughter's dad so I just waited for days and days until the Shelter or the Consulate would provide me with a lawyer, I wasn't even sure of what to do, just wanted to do it the less painful for all of us. I wanted so much to rest.
Well, meanwhile my husband acted so quickly, and this mostly because of his parents who took all control of the situation. They hired a private investigador, one of the bests in US (she was charging $500 usd an hour) and a really expensive lawyer, and he obtained an ex parte emergency custody with so many lies that made me sick.Then they "kidnapped" my e-mail account so they found out where I was and of course they know now about any place in which I post, but it's ok now, I wont hide anything and if they are reading this I hope God will help you because I consider you very, very bad and mean persons and I sincerely hope you can have peaceful dreams when you go to sleep with such a bad conscience (sp?).
So after the custody thing, which I went to ask by myself about it at the Court and signed it (I thought I wasn't served though) I was now commiting an abduction and I was commiting a crime! God, it was really a nightmare. After I found this I called him and we agreed on doing the things the right way, he was going to drop off that totally unfair custody, was going to look for medical help for him and even was going to issue passports and authorization letters for my daughter to fly to Spain with me, and yes, with out abuse and control, we were going to try to fix our relationship in the future, after he would really start helping himself, that was last Thursday's night and the next morning the police called the Shelter sayingthat the father , my husband, just called to urge them to recover his child (he later told me that his father made the phone call with out telling him about it), and I was "about to spend many years on jail if I didn't deliver my daughter at 2:30 at the Sheriff's office". His mother and his exgirlfriend were the ones who were going to pick her up (can you imagine that???) but he "changed" his mind and decided to pick her up by himself at 5:00 letting me the possibility to go back to him and not been separated from my daughter... just the thought of spending one night with out her was so hard for me then. So yes, I went there, he lied on his knees and asked me to come back to him and sadly I didn't have any option. I am back to my husband, and I found out that his parents were the perpretators of all of this (and yes, also him because he signed all the documents), that they always wanted us to get a divorce and obtain the custody of my baby so they could have her and my husband would married his exgirlfriend.
Everybody knows that I am an excellent mother (sorry for the lack of humble but I need to say it for the next statement), even his parents, just to see my baby, who is always extremely happy, with a smile that enlightens any room and any heart and so healthy growing up like a weed and ... and For God sake: I was about to be in jail!... by the hands of my inlaws... Ok, so my husband knows that I am not here by my own will, and I do still love him, I think I will always will so we will try to fix this, he is working in drop off that custody thing, he will go to several therapies, including one designed for abusive husbands, also we will go to marriage counseling and he accepted that he is an abuser, he will stop contact with his parents, at least me andmy daughter wont see them never again, and he also knows that I wont tolerate any more abuse and I will leave again if this happens, but now with papers on my hand (which we are working on), plus my staying on the Shelter plus some more things count as a proof of abuse if anything else happens. The most important part of this is that I will never hide it again, now everyone knows it and also everyone follows up. It was so hard for me to feel absolutely alone with such a carry on my shoulders, and now, thanks to you wonderful ladies, and many, many other people I know I'm not
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My pets remain in the Shelter, soon they will come back to us, my daughter loves them so much
but I would appreciate to know any data of possible foster homes in VA for them just to keep them on hand.
I really hope that we can make it thorough this, so many emotional scars but just his real willing to do it, even if I was cohersed (sp?) to come back, could be the difference.
Also after reading this, any legal advice will be appreciated. My husband knows that in order to really have a wonderful relationship I must feel safe after such a horrible trauma. He also knows that if I stay with him after this, it's because I really will want it, with out control, with freedom... that is what we are looking for
.
Please keep us in your prayers and THANK YOU very much for all your help, specially to my dear Len
. I'm going to keep looking through the weekend for other resources for this woman and keep in contact with Len about my findings.
