who is a lawyer? Who can help? (not a joke, this is for real) - Page 2

[Luma]

Dear Eggie, Im so proud of you, what you said about the abuse that now is known, and is not silent anymore, and that you know youre not alone, is an empowering feeling and reality! Im very glad to read that dd and you are together. You went through so much in these days and you have to hold on to all that you learned, to your truth, and be strong.
You both have been in my heart all these days and in the hearts of the mammas here, and you know you are supported by all of us women here, and from the MDC dads too, and if theres anything you can think of that we can do as a community, please let us know and we will do it.
Its very good to hear from you.
love
Lupita

[Eggie]

Thank you everyone!!!, we are hanging in here
Can anyone, specially lawyers, share more on this?:

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Meiri
[B]I'm not a lawyer, but from your post Eggie it looks to me like a restraining order against his parents is in order!

If you like to PM about it I will be so happy.
Thank you again!!!!!!

[Gemini]

to you Eggie.

I was so sickened when I heard last week he was takingyour dd and I'm so relieved to know it's turning out differently.

I think you should give Oatmeal a private message to talk to her about the lawyer she knows.

[Dragonfly]

Eggie

Here's the website for the Rappahannock Council on Domestic Violence. They have a shelter and their headquarters in Fredericksburg:

RCDV

Definitely check out their website and give them a call. I spoke with them the other day and it seems like they might be in a position to assist you with finding legal help. Also, try calling Legal Aid in your area. You'll have to go through an intake process. You'll want to be as detailed as possible so they know they are dealing with an abuse case - thus, maybe less likely to count your husband's income in the qualification process? Not sure how that works, but hopefully it will be the case.

Finally, as soon as ds' father gets back with the car, I'm going to PM you the name and number for a woman who does dog rescue in Fredericksburg (with Central Virginia Animal Rescue, I believe).

Stay strong!

[dancingmama]

Eggie, I tried to pm you but your mailbox is full.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you are feeling safe! I wanted to make sure you received the gift certificate I sent -- it went to your PO Box (Len gave me the address) and now that you are back home, I hope that it was the correct place to send it....

Let us know how you are doing, and great big HUGS to you!

dancingmama

[Eggie]

Hello ladies

Again thank you all for your support. I have a sad update, this time the abuser wasn't my husband but his mother. Last Saturday, while my husband wasn't here, my inlaws came to deliver somethings for him. When they rang the bell I answered from the second floor window and ask them to leave it in front of the door, but the mother said that they were carrying a cellphone for him so then I asked them to come back when my husband were here but they insist in giving me those things, so I came down, opened slightly the door to take the things and the mother said: "I came to see the baby", so I asked her to talk to my husband first and she said "No, I will see her now", so she pushed me really hard and got in to the house with her husband behind, and I ran upstairs and she went behind me... I made it to my baby's room and locked the door, so she started kicking and punching the door like crazy and saying the worst insults in the wolrd: Fu...ng bi*c, Wh**e..., I'm going to declare you insane, that baby is mine, you are going to loose her, I'm going to take that baby from you", shouting so hard and vicious and my poor baby and me we where so scared inside the room... I asked her to leave or I would have to call 911 but she said this was her son's house and she would come when ever she wants, and kept insulting, and then the father started shouting that I was mentally insane and well... I was absolutely scared. After 10 minutes of insults, and when they notice that I wasn't going to participate in the fight, they left and they slammed the door so hard that things fell from the shelves downstairs... I called 911 and filed a report and then called my husband and he came immediately to take me to the Magister. My husband told me that things could got so much worse if I didn't lock my self in the room... he knows his mother... Gosh, they are absolutely crazy, this is so scary. I was amazed to notice how similar my husband and his mother act... but his mother is more, more vicious and extremelly cruel.
Sadly my husband, who at first was very supportive, after talking to his parents that night, is already making excuses for them, whom said I was very dramatic and nothing really happened (of course...), and he is already promising them that they will see our daughter really soon. And what about the terror in my daughter's eyes while this woman was hitting the door of the room and shouting all kinds of insults???
This is sooo sad .
They told him that as soon as they get from their vacation, they will come back next January, they will do some research about grandparental rights in Virginia...
Will see what can we solve in our next marriage counseling session. Probably not much, plus again I live in fear about this sick people trying new things to separate me from my daughter. I will all let you know what happens in the future, but please keep praying for us. Thank you.
Wishing you a beautiful Christmas, God bless you all.

[Tracy]

eggie,

it is time to get a lawyer.

It is my opinion that you need to start getting some long vision. if you know what I mean...you need a lawyer to guide you as to what they can and can't do and you need to be discussing, "what if" it does not work out with your husband and he turns on you again....

hugs

tracy

[shelbean91]

I agree- you need to talk to a lawyer. You should have an order of protection to keep his mother away from you if that is the way she is. Did you file a police report? You need to do that right away- even if it is days later. Keep a journal of dates and times that things happen. Get a video or tape recorder so if something like this happens again, you have proof of what she said and did.

I understand she wants to see her granddaughter, but needs to go about it appropriately. There is no reason she can't only come by when your dh is home, if at all.

I don't think there is anything she can do about grandparents rights at this point, but maybe someone else has info about that.

[Moon]

Lawyer up, Eggie. No matter what your husband promises you, no matter where you go from here, you need to know YOUR rights when you are dealing with these people. Someone is going to get hurt and you can't be sure it isn't going to be you or the baby. DO IT.

According to my Warrenton-based attorney, there are no grandparents rights in Virginia, but they CAN make your life miserable using props like Children's Services, and it sounds like they have an unhealthy hold on their son, who DOEs have rights.

Get help, get it now, or get used to the idea you aren't going to keep your baby.

[Tracy]

here's what it can look like without a lawyer:

http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...hreadid=106116

[Marlena]

Also consider the fact that you may very well be able to get a restraining order against the grandparents...and it may be worth doing. You'll have to weigh carefully its likely impact not only on the situation with the grandparents, of course, but also with your husband. Perhaps it would be a wake-up call for everyone, and put a brake on things. Or perhaps it would just exacerbate things and put you and your daughter in greater danger. You have to consider carefully what it would likely do.

In any event, though, I'd suggest not letting them in your house again, under any circumstances...even with your husband in attendance (perhaps especially so).

Do line up a good attorney who specializes in family law and is well-experienced in issues involving domestic abuse. Even if you don't ever go forward with him/her, you should have him/her ready to go if it becomes necessary. Legal aid clinics, as well, are usually experienced in such matters (it often constitutes the bulk of their work).

You may be reticent to line up an attorney because it may seem as if it tilts the balance towards the failure, rather than success, of your marriage. However, given the violence involved and the very real possibility (given past events) that your daughter could be taken away from you, however temporarily, you'd probably be well-advised to act to protect both you and your daughter now

[Dragonfly]

Eggie,

You should also know that while grandparents' rights are not expressly written into Virginia law, the statute does allow for visitation and even custody by a third party if it is deemed in the child's best interests. Courts have said that one situation where visitation and/or custody for grandparents might be in a child's best interest is where a mother is considered unfit.

My concern here is that these people might have it in the works to have you declared unfit. They sound crazed about getting their claws on your child.

PLEASE find a lawyer.

[lilyka]

Ifg you can get a phone in many rooms or a cordless phone that you can keep on you at all times and don't hesitate to call the police next t ime this happens. Scary stuff and you need documentation. She had no right to be in your home or to be harrasing you. Unfortunately in some states grandparents have won visitation in court Also during your couseling w/ dh you need to address his mothers behavior and his toleration of it. this is definitely a stumbling block in your marraige and the source of his abusivness.

[Tracy]

Is there any update?

[Eggie]

yes... some things had happened. My mother in law sued us for visitation, the first hearing is next March 26th. Thankfully I haven't seen his parents since the mother broke into my house and they say they also don't want to see my husband any more, just want my daughter to be dropped off at their house for visitation ... like a potatoe's sac. My husband promised me so many things but he never went to the Fresh start group (the one for men who abuse women) and he did go to see a psychiatrist but he refuses to take the medication. He is so upset because he just wants his parents back and everything back to normal . Also in our last marriage counseling session this Monday he informed me that last Friday he received a call from the mediation center, asking us to mediate instead of proceeding with the hearing; today he told me that he already made an appointment with them, and I was very clear that I wanted to talk to my lawyer first.
Tomorrow I will talk to my lawyer, I did find one thorough Legal Aid, and will see what happens. Meanwhile my husband is so angry with me because I cannot just forgive everything and get over it, he says I'm blind because I cannot see how much he had changed... and 2 weeks ago I found that he contacted his ex-girlfriend again; he openend a new email account and wrote her and his father that in case they need to contact them they shall write him there, as I could see his other e-mail accounts. He told me he did that because his father is sending him daily e-mails telling him how coward he is and how a lousy mother I am, and that he shall stand up against me. So he said he is tired about this emails and had to tell them that I was "checking" his other emails so they shouldn't write there and he planned to never check the new account. He just had lied so much that it's imposible to believe anything anymore...
This is how everything started in the past... and now my husband said that he wont go to the marriage counseling again. I do not know what will happen. I'm just praying for the courts to really protect my child against her violent grandparents and... I am so tired Thanks God my baby is doing wonderful, she's about to walk, and getting cutter everyday... I want my daughter to grow up with out violence, I want her to feel secure and in a safe environment... I'm praying so much.

[Eggie]

Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm still going to the RCDV (Rappahanock Council of Domestic Violence) support groups and one of the volunteers will go with me to the hearing, just for support, of course in case my lawyer tells me that the mediation is not a suitable option tomorrow.
Thanks mamas

[Els' 3 Ones]

I so happy you have a lawyer.




El

[lilyka]

Man, that sucks. i will be praying for you and your dd and for a miricle in your marraige.

[Tracy]

Eggie,

Hugs. I'm glad you have your own lawyer.
I don't think your daughter should ever see those awful people.

I can't imagine why your husband does not want to get help. He needs help in so many areas you would think he would want some guidance.

Your daughter sounds like she is thriving which of course is the one brilliant light in this mess. Stand by that knowledge and I'm praying that spirit send some more light your way.

hugs.
tracy