I'm a SAHM with no clue about home management!

[pishajane]

Please help me!!
I lived with my parents until i got married, (and my mum did practically everything, even when i wanted to help usually i'd do it *wrong*) and now that i've got kids i've realised i just have no idea how to run a home!

I need a crash course in getting organised - even the daily stuff is hard for me to juggle. I'm trying to teach myself how to do everything, and it's becoming a little overwhelming! I mean everything - i've never really cooked, done laundry, cleaned bathrooms...

What kinds of things help you to organise your home? I've been thinking about making a chart for a daily schedule, including chores, meals, naps, etc, so the kids can learn along with me... but i'm not a very structured person. Is that a learned thing? Or should i try to work with my lack of routine?

Any tips would really be appreciated. TIA!

[Cativari]

Start slow. I had to learn alot on my own and had many false starts because I tried to do it all at once. I failed to realize that learning to manage a home was something learn in time and not over night. (I'm still learning new things).

First think about what you NEED to do each day to stay afloat so to speak make a list and put it in a notebook or binder (this will be the beginings of a Home Management Binder, I haven't been consistant with mine binder but it does help). For everyone it's different for the specifics. For me the bare minimum is:

*Three meals and a few snacks-Though it's not the healthiest, at first do things that are time effective like prepackaged stuff. When you've gotten into the habit of "cooking" start adding a meal or two that you do that is less packaged and more healthy and keep adding until you've gotten rid of all the convient food (or you know most of it) But do it slowly so that you don't feel like you're cooking all the time.

*Dishes done-At first I didn't put them away that was something I started doing after most everything else was streamlined.

*Laundry-At one point I didn't do it until it just about everything was dirty and then I didn't want to do it at all and it was a bit mess. Right now I have 3 baskets (towels/bathroom stuffs, whites and colors) When one is full it gets washed and put away. This way it amounts to about 3 loads of laundry a week and I don't feel to overwhemed. In a few years when the kids get bigger and can help with their laundry they will get 3 baskets and I won't have to sort clothes.

*Picked up living area-this for us is the livingroom and kitchen. By picked up I mean no trash on the floor and swept every few days (as needed) and mopped once a week if I have hard floors. I don't count toys as mess since I have little kids.

*Budget and bills-I keep a calender at keepandshare.com with all my bills on it when they are due and how much. Seeing it makes it easier to know when money not only leaves your pocket but comes in. I also keep track of saving on there to so I can "Watch it grow".

That is what my bare minimum is. That's pretty much where I started. To kick it off I spent a day or two deep cleaning and de-cluttering so I could start with a clean slate. As time has gone on I have started I have started coasting the bedrooms to keep the floors picked up, doing the bathrooms regularly (about every 2 weeks, I'll start doing it more once, it becomes more of a habit). Some of the things that I still want to start are making beds, doing freezer meals, spead deep cleaning out every few weeks instead of doing all at one time, some decorating ect...

Something that might help is make a list or description on how you WANT your HOME to feel and work and then write a plan to get you there. Like I said start slow, at first do only what is NEEDED the wants will fall into place once you get your needs taken care of.

I don't know where to put this suggestion but as your little people grow teach them all of it, so they don't have to learn it as an adult because from my personal experince it is HARD to learn all of this as an adult.

Kudos, you've made the first step in doing something wonderful for yourself and your family. GOOD LUCK

[marimara]

You're welcome to come on over to the Traditional Homemaking thread here http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=980275 There is a TON of info here about all kinds of stuff including home management binders. A lot of us are beginners too but are helping each other.

The biggest thing about getting organized is making lists. I make checklists. Just make lists so that you don't forget. Then do what works for you. Also keep supplies together in easy to reach places so you don't have to hunt them down.

[JamieCatheryn]

I can't stand making lists for things I do every day. I make to-do lists for projects around the house or step by step things for big dinners, parties, trips. Not for routines. For meals I make my grocery list each week and plan what to fix for foods. As far as housework: at some point I wash all the dishes each day, and if we have a full load worth of dirty laundry of either light or dark I wash it. When I have a mind to, especially if DH is coming home or a guest is coming over, or I just notice the disarray, I'll go around and pick up/put away stuff through the house. If the floor is gritty I sweep, if a rug is messy I vacuum. If the toilet is dirty I scrub it, if the bath has soap scum I get out the baking soda and scrub that. Once I've cleared a counter I spray it with vinegar and water and clean it.

My son's just old enough to "help" with things, copying me sort of at the sink or with a broom, carry clothes to his drawer, help gather toys in a bin while I do it too. No chore charts for him yet.

[99lauren]

I got a great idea on this forum somewhere.
Clean and organize with a kitchen timer!

Set the timer for 7 minutes or 9 minutes and clean for that ammount of time. Stay in one room, and on one or two tasks, and don't do anything else until the timer goes off.
Anyone can do anything for 7-9 minutes! And you will be surprised how much you can accomplish!

Do the 7-9 minutes in each room each day and you will be surprised at how much more organized you will get.

And play music and have fun! No TV helps me too. I'm magnetically drawn to the screen!

[texmati]

ooh! I just wanted to say that I moved from my parents house straight in with DH after I got married. I think (esp with me working) scheduling is the most important thing. Also we divide up tasks by who enjoys it most and who's best at it. (I cook, he pays bills).

[texmati]

Oh-- I also really needed to be 'taught' how to do stuff. There is a book call 'speed cleaning'. I know it sounds stupid to read a book on cleaning, but I can now clean a bathroom thoroughly and fast. It was a huge help to me.

[alison_in_oh]

Yes, I read Speed Cleaning too when I first started keeping house! And Home Comforts has been my #1 reference since I moved out on my own, clueless, at about age 20. I highly recommend it. If you want someone to give you a system to start with, try Flylady.net or Sidetracked Home Executives.

Yes, structure can be helpful, and yes, acquiring structure is a learned skill for many of us. Take it slow and don't get down on yourself if everything doesn't come naturally; most skills take practice to get right -- not everyone can be a prodigy right off the bat. Good luck!

[onlyzombiecat]

Maybe flylady would be helpful for you.
Start with Beginner Baby Steps.


Cooking- 4 days a week I cook supper only. It is served between 5:30 and 7 PM. It depends on how long it takes to cook. Lunch and breakfast are generally no cook items and are when people feel like it. Snacks are things like fruit, cheese, crackers, hard boiled eggs, celery, carrots, yogurt, dry cereal, granola bars.
The other 3 days a week I make 2-3 meals. Breakfast is up to the individual's waking time. If we are all awake at once then I will cook pancakes or waffles if people want. Lunch would be around noon. Supper is always around the same time.
You might get a slow cooker. They are easy to use and might not feel so overwhelmed.

Dishes- A weak area for me. I don't have a dishwasher. Ideally I would wash twice a day. Realistically I do once a day. Setting a timer for 15 minutes helps. I know that in 15 minutes I can wash enough dishes to fill my dish racks. I let them air dry unless dd feels like drying and putting away.

Laundry- My mom washes all her laundry one day a week. She devotes all day to it.
It works for her. She folds clothes as she removes them from the dryer.
I prefer to wash clothes as baskets are full/as needed. I might wash more than once a week. I don't stress about getting clothes folded right away.

Bathroom- I don't clean the bathroom daily. Dd loves to help with the bathroom.

www.chorewars.com

[pishajane]

Wow thanks for all the replies, esp the links - i've got a lot to learn, and it's quite daunting, but one day at a time i'm gonna get there. I'm actually starting to be a little excited about it even! Who woulda thunk?

And i'm definitely getting the kids involved with the process. It's so hard for me to learn all this now, and i don't want them to have to deal with it in adulthood like me. I figure that's my job anyway - to teach them how to become responsible, caring adults in every way... including managing a home!

Thanks again!