It's complicated..Need special gift ideas for niece turning 13

[sebandg'smama]

For the first 6 years of her life I was very close to her. I was there for her birth, babysat her part-time during those years. She is very close to my son.

My sister and I are very different. Let's just say, if she were to read Mothering magazine, she would not drop in to say hi mothering dot community.
I am the weird one of the family.
My sister and I had a few years where we were civil, but there was a lot of tension between us. My niece drew away from me, which I absolutely understood.

Things are better now between my sister and I, and I would really like to get to know my niece. She is very similar to me, we have often joked about it. I guess I want to find a way to honour her during this very important time in her life, turning 13 is symbolic for her, she is about to get her first period.
But my sister views any celebration of ones' menstruation as very peculiar.

Any ideas? I don't want to over step my boundaries (my sister's husband still hasn't totally forgiven me for suggesting perhaps they don't circumcise their son 9 years ago). I want to celebrate my niece during this special time, not make her feel uncomfortable.

[Oriole]

I guess I would think about putting together "coming of age" basket, and would place items in there that you think she would be open to receiving from her aunt.

I'd ask her mom if it's okay, and go with my own feeling on how comfortable my relationship with my niece is. I'd get a journal, maybe a book, maybe some herbs for a bath (I don't know which ones to recommend ), and just little things for taking care of oneself.

[Ruthla]

I think I'd stay away from anything menstruation-related in a gift, as your sister might take it the wrong way even if your neice appreciates it. Besides, if you're not currently close to her, your neice might think it's awkard as well.

I'd buy her jewlery, or get her a gift certificate to a jewlery store, or maybe gift her with a day out and you'll buy her something that she selects while you're out together. If menstruation/womanly stuff comes up while you're out with her, that's fine. I can't imagine a 13yo who would NOT appreciate a day out shopping with her aunt, going out to lunch, etc.

Try to meet your neice where she is now, and be a positive example of "crunchiness".

[Cherie2]

I think a journal and jewelry are both really good ideas ... i also think it would be a good idea to stay away from anything to do with body functions

(for now anyway)

[sebandg'smama]

Oh I had no intention of buying her a diva cup or cloth pads!

I guess I was thinking of something more symbolic as she goes through this new phase of life.

Thanks for all your suggestions, I do appreciate them!
I'm leaning towards maybe a good book (I bought her a journal for Christmas), but I do like the idea of something to pamper her with.

So...any good book suggestions?

[kolleen9]

I just bought my niece (a lot like the same situation as you) Table Topics for Teens for the holiday.

I think it was a unique gift since we're bombarded with consumer type things all the time. I think a kid today doesn't get the wow factor when receiving a fine piece of jewelry or something else that is expensive as we did when we were kids (okay I was a kid in the 60s, but I'm sure you can relate).

Here's a link to where I purchased it:
http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?itemId=13602

-Kolleen

[sebandg'smama]

Thanks Kolleen,

That looks like a really interesting game!

-Melanie