Could I have a pre-teen on my hands?

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

DS turned 9 in September. He has always been rather emotional and tends to cry over things that many boys swallow. But lately he has been an emotional mess -- crying over things that most younger children would let go of (last night he went nuts because he didn't get to hit the pinata at a church party -- it broke right before his turn). And for the last week he keeps saying that something is bothering him but he doesn't know what. Of course, every other minute he is his usual mostly-sunny self.

So, is this how it starts with boys?

Any thoughts / ideas / suggestions on how to help him (and me) pinpoint what is bothering him? He says he just doesn't know, can't tell me how he is feeling, and alternates between wanting to talk (but not giving me any real info, just moaning about being upset) and not wanting me in the room.

Any thoughts on dealing with crying / emotional jags that are understandable but probably increasingly socially unacceptable for an almost-teen boy? We've never encouraged him to stifle his feelings "because boys don't cry" or other such nonsens, much to my macho-father's disgust. But I know that his friends, and even his teachers, are starting to react negatively to his emotional reactions to common every-day situations.

[kolleen9]

I have a nephew that doesn't show any signs when he's sick but he does emotionally change. When he was young he fell apart like your son, at the slightest things. When he got to be a teen, he would get short and nasty.

Every time he picked up a virus or bug etc. he never showed any physical symptoms.

Just another thought to consider.

-Kolleen

[Bay Momma]

I agree with the health issue. My almost 12 year old is definately pre-teening it! But not the emotions you describe. My ds is getting body odor, noticing girls, how his hair looks, and is noticably asking more deep thought questions. Again, nothing like you describe. I do know however, that EVERYTIME, without exception, when I am about to tie him up by his toenails becuase of his unexplainable whinny, mean-spirited otherwise out-of=character behavior....he'll spike a fever; throw up; or something like that that will then be one of those ah-ha moments, "that's what's been wrong". What are your son's teeth doing? Whenever there's teeth action (loosing/growing new ones) especially the molars, there's emotional swings. Has there been any emotional opheavals in your lives?

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Hm.. no emotional upheavals (other than the holidays, but they were pretty non-stressful this year). But he is due for a dentist appointment, so maybe that will show something. Probably going on longer-term than I would expect a simmering bug to cause -- its been about 2 weeks now.

[swampgreeneyes]

Sounds normal to me! A friend's 9 yo DS is like that. She always points out that people tend to overlook the intense emotions in adolescent boys and the hormonal changes they go through. He'll level out eventually, and hopefully it'll make your family closer. Maybe he just needs more attention? Gently assuring him others are concerned for his well being, but that he cannot be the constant center of attention in situations where there are many other children may help him realize how to behave in a group? best of luck!