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January***Pregnancy after Loss and/or Infertility***

post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 
]Due in June!
BlissfullyLoving pregnant after
ChrissieColinsMom pregnant after
Critty (Cristie) pregnant via surrogate
erin_brycesmom pregnant after and IF
Girlo (Shannon) pregnant after TTC for 3.5 years
heatherh pregnant after since April '06
Kwgrlup (Janet) pregnant after two years of IF and
ktmama pregnant after
ManifestBaby pregnant via IVF after 5 1/2 years TTC
maryjane (Mara) pregnant after
mrsfatty (Katie) pregnant after
nattysmum07 (Shannon) pregnant after
SarahHope (Sarah) pregnant via IVF after 1.5 years TTC
seafox pregnant after
Shy0717 (Shy) pregnant after
sonuptosondown (Deb) pregnant after
Storm Bride pregnant after
sunflwrmoonbeam (Ashley) pregnant after
TrishWSU (Trish) Traditional Surrogate pregnant after
Voltige pregnant after TTC over a year
WeasleyMum (Mara) pregnant after

In Our Thoughts
mmpmelmack
La Marmotte
ann_of_loxley
dani76
MisaGoat
no5no5
MiracleMama
Amy&4girls
post #2 of 46
Thread Starter 
Figured since I killed the December thread, it was only fair that I start the next one. I notice that we don't seem to be posting here very much now; is it just a second-trimester thing that as we each get more secure in our pregnancies, we don't need to discuss loss/ IF as much? Either way, the thread is here for those who want it!
post #3 of 46
Honestly, I'm really conflicted right now. I'm more secure in my pregnancy, but I know two people who've had losses right at this time, and thus I'm also really paranoid.

It's very weird and confusing.
post #4 of 46
I'm feeling more secure, but the what-ifs still cross my mind pretty often they just seem to upset me less. And I still have to check every time I go to the bathroom.

I meet with my new cnm practice today!
post #5 of 46
Hey everyone! Our surro M has been going through a rough time with living arrangements so we have been helping her figure that out. We don't want her or the baby stressed! She had been having tension headaches and her ankles have been swelling (during her last 2 pregnancies, she has suffered from pre-e), so we have been trying to be as supportive as we can for her. I think I am going to start making her food and bring it over. She still doesn't really like the smell of cooking (or she just doesn't like cooking - ha!), so I want to help eliminate the processed stuff and reduce the sodium. Also give her organic fruits and veggies (well the ones known to be bad anyway) and hormone-free meat. I think that will be helpful for her and at the same time I know I will giving the baby a good start. Win - win

I don't know if I posted this or not, but we went for our u/s on Dec 31 to tell the gender and all of the organ stuff, but they said we were only 18 weeks and to come back at 19-20 weeks so they could see better. I am ASSUMING that if they couldn't see a penis by 18 weeks, we have a pretty good chance of it being a girl. I feel like it is going to be a girl, all my dreams are of girls, but I would love either. We go back on Monday for the u/s.

I too cannot relax, I am worried about loss still, now I am worried about M's BP and the effect on the baby. I am just controlling whatever I can to not go insane.

And still researching strollers and cloth diapers like a mad woman. I am now thinking of Kissaluvs at the beginning and then MothersEase Bamboo Sandys. I hope after all of this research, the baby likes them! Going to borrow my 6 week old nephew to test out slings soon

Christie
post #6 of 46
well I could use this thread today, I had a pretty big scare this week.

I woke up at 2am on Sunday night w/ pretty severe abdominal pain (I couldn't lie on either side, and couldn't keep my legs straight w/out pain) so I ended up on the couch so I could have my legs supported while bent. I figured it was just gas or something, plus I have a history of intestinal issues (celiac disease, plus when I had the eating disorder I had an 'intestinal torque', plus even just a week ago I had intense abdominal pain that felt like a twist in the intestine that resolved itself in an hour or so)

so I figured it would go away. But by 8am, still there, but not worse. I was still thinking about trying to go to work but the mr. convinced me to call the doc - who said I should head to the ER just to be sure. So we went.

Busy ER since it was icy out and everyone was in for falls and slips and whatnot, so I didn't get any diagnostic tests until 3pm, and since I'm pregnant they cant do the regular catscan, so they put me in for an ultrasound.

And then the ultrasound tech SUCKED - we were thinking it was intestinal, but still, its my abdomen, so I am concerned that its the pregnancy, so she says 'Ill do an obstetric u/s now' (after looking at just my stomach and
kidneys) and then looks at the uterus for TEN minutes without saying ANYTHING (and we can't see the monitor) so I am crying, the mr. is squeezing my hand and looking like he might explode with a 'wtf!!!' at her, and we are both totally having flashbacks to my ultrasound this summer that was the exact same way (since a tech can't give bad news, it has to be the doc) so I am thinking its totally over. And then finally, she says 'you want to see?' and turns the monitor towards me, and I'm like, I dont know! DO I WANT to see? Is everything okay? and she's all nonchalant and is all 'here's the heartbeat, here's the brain, etc'

I was going to strangle her.

so then an MRI, since the u/s showed a 'suspicious area' near the appendix, but isn't conclusive, so still could be ileatis (small bowel inflammation) which actually seemed more likely to me given my family history (mother has chron's, etc) But, they said it looked 'highly suggestive' for appendicitis instead (bit of a suprise!)

so I got the surgery at 1AM Monday night, and it was infected, but luckily not perforated or burst (which evidently has a 20% fetal loss rate, compared to 3-5% if caught early enough) but then have been a mess the last two days since the pain is enormous and I didn't want to take much for it (though I relented at one point and said okay to a 1/4 dose of morphine) I have a pretty good pain tolerance, but it was keeping me from sleep (and I had been up the night before the ER due to the pain, so I was running on really low sleep) which would delay the healing, so they convinced me.


its hard not to worry what this all did to the baby, but I am so happy that there IS still a baby, and they were all really good about coming and checking w/ the doppler before and after the surgery and then when I was released. I really thought during the u/s it was all over. I was starting to go through the stages of grief right there. Why do these techs suck so much? Why would they wait to tell you that things are okay? My lord, I'd write a letter but I was there for three days and everyone else was amazing so I can hardly complain.
post #7 of 46
Hugs Seafox. I lurk on this thread since I have a good friend with multiple MCs and wanted to respond to you and tell you that I had an emergency appendectomy for a VERY infected (they guessed less than a day away from fully bursting) appendix when 16 weeks pregnant with DD. Like you, I spent WAY too much time in the ER prior to this discovery. I had been in SO much pain and puking constantly - at first I thought maybe food poisoning.

But the surgery (they did laproscopic) went well and recovery went pretty well. I was quite sore but after the first night refused percoset - it made me too nauseous and just lived on tylenol for a few days. Had a few extra U/S over the next few weeks to check on DD but she was fine and was born at 38.5 weeks naturally. She did have relatively bad reflux as a kiddo but who knows if that was related or not - she outgrew it by 10 months or so and has been a healthy, sweet, fun, child!

Hugs to you - sorry for the scare. Hope you recover soon and have an uneventful rest of your pregnancy.
post #8 of 46
WOW! What a scary experience, brought tear to my eyes to imagine sitting there waiting to hear something from the darn tech. They just don't get it do they? Glad to hear that they got you taken care of and hopefully you will be back to feeling better in no time, and back on track.

Shawna
expecting our first 6/9/09
post #9 of 46
Yikes seafox! That's scary!!!

I've been through surgery this pregnancy as well, including a horrible gall bladder attack. I absolutely BEGGED for the IV morphine because the pain was so horrible. I spent 48 hours hooked up and getting drugs to control the pain. I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant at the time. Just last week I had a laparoscopy to remove the gall bladder and had more pain meds, just a little though. As far as I know, everything is fine with my little bean. I'll get to see him/her tomorrow on an u/s. It's so scary going through all this while pregnant, but it's also terribly important to take care of YOU the MOM as well. I think some doctors are so worried about harming the baby they forget about MOM.

I'm glad everything is okay and if your surgery is anything like mine was, you will be feeling pretty good in about a week.

Lots of hugs to you!
post #10 of 46
Oh wow, Seafox, that sounds so scary! I had my appendix out a few years ago, and it was hard enough, without also worrying about my baby. You're tough!

I kind of expected to bounce right back after the surgery, but it definitely took me a full week of doing almost nothing before I was feeling normal (-ish) again. Be sure to give yourself enough time to recuperate.
post #11 of 46
Oh and like Sarah said, although I was only sore for like 3-4 days, it took a full week for the anesthesia to get out of my system - I was totally out of it for a while. But then OK!

Sorry with the tech...
post #12 of 46
kamane18, thanks for your experience! Its a relief hearing from someone who has gone through it.

and voltige, amusingly enough, you were the first person I thought of and even mentioned to my husband as we were stunned w/ the news that they thought it was the appendix. We were just shocked that it wasn't my usual intestinal issue type things, and got overwhelmed w/ worrying about what surgery would do while pregnant - and the first thing I thought of was you, and I even said 'a woman in my due date club, actually, I know just had gall bladder surgery! they must have knocked her out somehow for that' since we were worried about anesthesia. So it was good to know what you had been through! it helped me not freak out too much.

and yeah, I was also thinking that my abdomen would feel better since it hurt so much before the surgery, I was pretty naive when it came to what an incision does to you! I was pretty shocked as the spinal wore off what my abs felt like!

getting the spinal also made me realize how much I DONT want one for birth. Not that I was planning it anyway, but its super spooky having your legs be that dead. I was glad that they sedated me for the surgery, so I fell asleep and didn't have to deal with the weirdness for too long, but I'd want to be alert for a birth! Ugh, it felt so odd.

Also, my ability to deal w/ the pain made me feel like I could handle childbirth as well although it might not be too comparable, my appendix *really* hurt - and the post-surgery was even worse! It was good to have the mr. be there and so supportive too, I always knew he'd be a great birth partner but now I'm even more confident.
post #13 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by seafox View Post

and voltige, amusingly enough, you were the first person I thought of and even mentioned to my husband as we were stunned w/ the news that they thought it was the appendix. We were just shocked that it wasn't my usual intestinal issue type things, and got overwhelmed w/ worrying about what surgery would do while pregnant - and the first thing I thought of was you, and I even said 'a woman in my due date club, actually, I know just had gall bladder surgery! they must have knocked her out somehow for that' since we were worried about anesthesia. So it was good to know what you had been through! it helped me not freak out too much.

and yeah, I was also thinking that my abdomen would feel better since it hurt so much before the surgery, I was pretty naive when it came to what an incision does to you! I was pretty shocked as the spinal wore off what my abs felt like!

getting the spinal also made me realize how much I DONT want one for birth. Not that I was planning it anyway, but its super spooky having your legs be that dead. I was glad that they sedated me for the surgery, so I fell asleep and didn't have to deal with the weirdness for too long, but I'd want to be alert for a birth! Ugh, it felt so odd.

Also, my ability to deal w/ the pain made me feel like I could handle childbirth as well although it might not be too comparable, my appendix *really* hurt - and the post-surgery was even worse! It was good to have the mr. be there and so supportive too, I always knew he'd be a great birth partner but now I'm even more confident.

Glad my experience was reassuring for you. I didn't have a spinal, but was under general anesthesia. I've never experienced a spinal and never want to, but waking from general was horrific, honestly. I could not have any of the "feel good" drugs before they induced anesthesia nor could I have any coming out (unlike my laparoscopy this summer for endo when I was not pregnant). The difference was night and day.

Both surgical experiences were far worse than natural labor and childbirth. My gall bladder attack had me begging for pain relief and it honestly was never a real consideration during labor. And I had a fast and very intense labor, and shorter is not always better. It was still way more managable than any of the pain I've experienced recently. I think you'll do great in childbirth, especially coming off this experience.

I'm so glad it's behind you now and you are recovering.
post #14 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Voltige View Post
Glad my experience was reassuring for you. I didn't have a spinal, but was under general anesthesia. I've never experienced a spinal and never want to, but waking from general was horrific, honestly. I could not have any of the "feel good" drugs before they induced anesthesia nor could I have any coming out (unlike my laparoscopy this summer for endo when I was not pregnant). The difference was night and day.

Both surgical experiences were far worse than natural labor and childbirth. My gall bladder attack had me begging for pain relief and it honestly was never a real consideration during labor. And I had a fast and very intense labor, and shorter is not always better. It was still way more managable than any of the pain I've experienced recently. I think you'll do great in childbirth, especially coming off this experience.

I'm so glad it's behind you now and you are recovering.
that's good to hear from someone who has been through both childbirth and a surgery!

I was offered general or the spinal, the first doc seemed to think they were comparable risk-wise for pregnancy. But the actual anesthesiologist said that the spinal would be better, just when it comes to less drugs overall, but oddly, they *did* give me the 'feel-good' drugs (only before) so that I would sleep during the operation (not unconscious, but just out like a light) I might have slept anyway since it was so late and I hadn't had any sleep the night before, I think as soon as the pain went away w/ the spinal I might have conked anyway!

so I wonder why that 'narcotic' was okay, and they didn't use that with you, that's odd. It does seem like there's a lot of weirdness w/ what is okay/not okay in pregnancy though. I do too much googling, I know, but I even read that while MRI's are fine when pregnant, they don't recommend the contrast drink (which I did have to drink) if you are pregnant since it can get into the fetus. I'm not sure which one I exactly had though, there are a few, so maybe there's one that is okay. ugh! too much to worry about.


did you have a lot of bloating post-surgery? I wasn't 'showing' at all pre-op, and now all of a sudden, I look really pregnant! I asked the mr. to bring my biggest pants (which are usually super loose on me) and I couldn't even button them! But I think it might be a reaction to the surgery since I am also pretty damn gassy. I am wondering if I should get some maternity pants stat or if in a few days Ill be slightly back to where I was pre-surgery. If I search, it seems to be a common reaction to surgery, but I'm wondering if by the time it dissipates I'd have a belly that big anyway. Sucks, since I haven't told my bosses at work yet (was going to this week, and now I am out all week) and I hate telling folks when they might just guess anyway! Oh well. Ill try and hide it best I can on Monday I guess.
post #15 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by seafox View Post

did you have a lot of bloating post-surgery? I wasn't 'showing' at all pre-op, and now all of a sudden, I look really pregnant! I asked the mr. to bring my biggest pants (which are usually super loose on me) and I couldn't even button them! But I think it might be a reaction to the surgery since I am also pretty damn gassy. I am wondering if I should get some maternity pants stat or if in a few days Ill be slightly back to where I was pre-surgery. If I search, it seems to be a common reaction to surgery, but I'm wondering if by the time it dissipates I'd have a belly that big anyway. Sucks, since I haven't told my bosses at work yet (was going to this week, and now I am out all week) and I hate telling folks when they might just guess anyway! Oh well. Ill try and hide it best I can on Monday I guess.
Bloating, oh MY YES!! Both after my lap this summer and even more with this surgery. I'm 10 days out from the gall bladder removal and my pants fit again today. First time. I'm not wearing maternity anything yet (16 weeks), but probably will soon. I've been in sweats and elastic waist pants since the surgery last week. I learned my lesson from this summer when NONE of my shorts fit for about a week. I bought a few pairs of comfy pants before the holidays so I'd be prepared this time. So yes, totally normal and you will look less bloated soon.
post #16 of 46
I too had HORRIBLE bloating after the surgery. Took a while for the gas to go down (and some wicked gas pains) and then my belly subsided for a few weeks.

I wasn't offered a choice - told general it had to be - the surgeon (the top one in the city actually) told my dad that for whatever reason a spinal wouldn't work and I was too out of it to really think about it/argue. No drugs before the general - just reglan in the ER to stop the puking (along with fluids) and a few demoral shots after the surgery.
post #17 of 46
evidently, if they had done laproscopic (so smaller incisions, w/ a camera) then they do have to use general - since they puff up your body w/ co2 or something so they can look around (which probably also causes even more bloating!) but since my uterus was already so big at 18wks, the surgeon thought the camera thing wouldn't work that well anyway (since the uterus is kind of in the way) or that the advantage of it is kind of lost anyway, and since the pain was pretty localized she figured she could just go in straight to fix it. So then they could do spinal instead, but my incision is bigger, so it might take longer to heal I guess.

Luckily, where I pointed out the pain was exactly where the appendix was. Evidently pregnancy does make it move a fair amount, which is why they might use cameras most of the time I guess? She had a fair argument for why the triangulating w/ three incisions and cameras wouldn't be as effective - the uterus is right in the way. I'm surprised though that at 16wks like you were that would be less of an issue, but maybe then there enough space to get around easier.

that's good to know about the bloating! though by the time it goes down I might have 'gone up' anyway I'm ordering some bella bands today!
post #18 of 46
Interesting! Yes mine was laproscopic and I have the three tiny scars still. And yes the air totally caused major bloating! Although yes, the recovery time is supposedly quicker. Not sure why the 2 weeks made such a difference but the surgeon actually said that if it had to be done, it was the ideal time - past the organs growing and all in the first trimester but not so big/enough room left still. Go figure.

Try to rest and recuperate. Don't be surprised if you're super tired and not hungry at all for a few days...
post #19 of 46
Seafox I'm really glad you are ok!
post #20 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by kamane18 View Post
Try to rest and recuperate. Don't be surprised if you're super tired and not hungry at all for a few days...
Yes. This. I slept from Tuesday when I came home from the hospital until Sunday afternoon when I had to face reality of DH going back to work on Monday I was exhausted. It was only really yesterday, 10 days out, that I felt anything resembling normal again. Be very easy on yourself. Recovering from surgery AND growing a baby is a LOT of work!!!
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