How to Improve your Marriage without talking about it - Page 2

[Theoretica]

Originally Posted by neveryoumindthere

just wanted to comment on being annoyed with books focusing on the woman making all the changes etc. It *is* annoying but at the same time these authors/publishers etc know it's mostly women who are buying and reading these books, are they not?

ITA as, for one, men don't read self help books as a general rule.

And two...most problems are the result of a slow erosion of trust and communication that DOES take both sides. And no one can change the other person...you can only change your own reactions to the other person, and your own thoughts and feelings about the other person's choices.

I mean yeah, it'd be great if we could pry their eyeballs open and make e'm read the stuff that we KNOW would make a difference to them. But, we can't. So control what you can and let go of the rest.

Incidentally, I really agree with you about the overmarketing of 'how to fix your man' books. And I hope you give this book a chance, as it's NOT like that whatsoever.

[KaraBoo]

I definitely will look it up.

[dancingmama]

I just read this book and WOW... I'm blown away. Seriously. Within DAYS there was measurably more joy and less tension in my house! It helped me to "get" my honey in ways I never had. And thereby gave me so much more compassion for him. My perspective is forever altered, and my heart feels so much fuller.

I would recommend this book 100%.

[neveryoumindthere]

Do tell!
I forgot about this thread and about the fact I wanted to read this book. I sent dh to get it and the store didn't carry it and then the subject got buried as life took over

I'm really needing to do some last-ditch efforts before calling it quits. I think my problem goes deeper than miscommunication but Im willing to try.

got any examples you can think of?

[rayo de sol]

Did anyone find the book too sexist to be helpful? The book's whole premise rests completely on antiquated gender stereotypes.

[Theoretica]

Originally Posted by rayo de sol

Did anyone find the book too sexist to be helpful? The book's whole premise rests completely on antiquated gender stereotypes.

:

Wow, have you even read through the book? Because that isn't the case at ALL. The first few pages deals with that presumption directly, in fact. I'm the first person who'd jump all over THAT, I can assure you. In fact, we started talking about it at a recent feminist activism event I was a part of, and men and women both raved about it's relevancy to the modern partnership, same or opposite gender, because it's entire focus highlights where communication degrades, and how to address it without having to sit and analyze every minute detail of your connected lives. The gender pronouns are used to facilitate reading, not to imply or assign gender based expectational roles. Again though, that's explained in the book.

Nothing close to 'antiquated gender stereotypes'.

I've read the whole book numerous times. The majority of the time I do fit the 'female' side of the issues, as do the majority of the women I know, but there are definitely times I'm solidly on the other end of it too. I don't read it at ALL as a mars/venus book whatsoever.

Sorry it didn't 'fit' for you, that stinks!

[MysteryMama]

Originally Posted by neveryoumindthere

Check out pages 67-68 (you can use Google Books to see a preview)

62-83 are not part of the preview

[Jemmind]

I added it to my holds list at the library, can't wait to read it