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I can't believe this.

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
Ever since before this baby was conceived, he's been Silas. Before we were sure he was a boy, we were hoping for a little baby Silas.

Then I started seeing it everywhere. I thought it was just my imagination. Like when you find out you're pregnant and suddenly there are prego bellies everywhere. I love it so much and we were SET on it.

We didn't tell anyone. It was our secret, OUR NAME.

My friend just had a baby yesterday.

A baby boy.

Guess what his name is.

I am bawling right now. I feel so silly for grieving for this name, but I CAN'T use it now.

post #2 of 28
Thread Starter 
I can't even bring myself to read her blog entry about him. I want to be happy for her but I can't stop crying.
post #3 of 28
Oh hun, I'm sorry! If you truly, truly love the name.. then you should still use it to name your son!
post #4 of 28
Please use the name!
post #5 of 28
post #6 of 28
I agree! Use the name!

Seriously- I'm a Jennifer and you know how many of us there are out there! And most of us turned out okay even with the same name!
post #7 of 28
post #8 of 28
post #9 of 28
I'm so sorry, but you should use the name because it's important to you, or at least keep it as a middle name.
post #10 of 28
I think you should still use it! Your friend would understand as I'm sure she's asked you what name you were planning and you told her it was a secret! It is a wonderful boy's name it seems like it means so much to you.
post #11 of 28
I would talk to your friend and see how she feels about it. Lots of people share names, if you have an emotional connection to the name then I would use it anyway.

FWIW, we loved the name Calvin, it was at the top of our list until someone close to us used it. We went with a different name but I've always kind of regretted that decision.
post #12 of 28
Use the name.

There is no corner market on baby names, and so what if you have two babies with the same name in your circle?
post #13 of 28
not from your DDC, just snooping.

Silas is a great name, and you should name your child Silas! Plenty of room in the world for 2 Silas's.
post #14 of 28
I agree with everyone here . . . if you love the name, and already consider that to be his name, then I don't think it makes a difference at all that someone else has used that name that you know. Use the name anyway . . . you will regret it if you don't! You have been thinking of your baby as Silas for a long time now, that is already who he is to you! It's the same with our baby girl, we have been calling her by name for months . . . there is no way that we could name her anything else . . . regardless of who may take that name up until she's born.

And I have a similar experience. When I was pregnant with son #3, once we found out he was a boy, we very quickly settled on a name for him. It was odd that it came so quickly for us. But we knew that was his name. . . and were super excited about it.
My husband's cousin had a baby boy in July . . . just about a month after we decided on our son's name . . . and yep, you guessed it, they named him Jonathan. The name we'd already chosen for our son . . . the name that our other children were already calling him. Yes, it's family . . .first cousin even . . .but we used the name Jonathan anyway. We had no way of knowing they were going to name him Jonathan, but we knew for certain that was the right name for our son. So, it didn't make a difference to me that it had just been used by family.
post #15 of 28
(Also not from your DDC but saw this tread in New Posts)

Use the name by all means!!

I would tell her very honestly that you are a bit sad cause you had been planning to use that name for so long. And that you still think of using it anyway. Hopefully she'll understand. But even if she doesn't - it's not up to her.

Who knows if your kids will even be friends later in life? I'm not really friends with any of my mom's friends' kids.

Or maybe either of you will end up moving away and you won't see each other very much. Or you might grow apart and not be friends anymore - who knows?

I can totally understand you're sad though!! :
post #16 of 28
I would still use the name.
post #17 of 28
I'm an oddball, but I wouldn't use it as a first name, unless your friend was okay with it, and (more important) you are too.

But it's not my call. It's yours. I would, no matter what, talk to your friend and explain the situation, absolutely, and get her input. She may not mind a bit if you use the name.

But I understand if it's not her reticence but your own that's causing the problem now. It's why we decided Cordelia would be the middle name, not the first name. And I'm okay with that, even though I'd been 99% set on it as a first name for a long while.

Do what your heart tells you. No one owns a name.
post #18 of 28
Thread Starter 
The thing is... it's just not the same anymore. I mean, of course I'd talk to her about it if I did, but I just don't want to use it anymore. My husband agrees, he's not nearly as sentimental as I am, so I'm sure it's out of his head already.

The funny part is that she married a Paul, then I married a Paul. If I name my second son the same thing as her second son, it'd just feel really weird. Might as well change my name to Melissa. I'm getting okay with it, really.

In the end, it's frankly not her up to her what I name my son (and I'm sure she'd be fine with it - we live in different states and don't see each other often, just keep in contact), but that's not where the hesitation comes in. I'm not really worried about what she thinks. It's just not what I want anymore.

So right now I'm sitting here sipping my candy cane hot cocoa, contemplating Milo and Cohen and thinking of middle names and getting ready to finally read her blog entry - I really am happy for her, and it's going to be okay.

Thanks everyone.
post #19 of 28
I definitely want to send hugs your way, I would be upset too! Silas is actually the name I have always loved for a boy and intend to use it when/if we have a boy in the future (this one is a girl). I would be heartbroken if someone close to me used it before I could get to it. I understand not wanting to use it now, I would feel the same way. For me, I'd be like you and just have to come to terms with it and try to get excited about a different name.
post #20 of 28
Thread Starter 
Someone on another board just said "oh, so it didn't mean anything, you just liked the name." And you know what? She's right. If I was naming him after a relative or close friend instead of 'I just really love this name,' I wouldn't change it for anything. Odd, but that makes me feel better.
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