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A negative editorial about the Facebook protest  

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
and an obnoxious one at that. complete with references comparing bfing with dropping your pants in public.
sigh.
its so discouraging, especially because SHE IS A WOMAN!!!

http://www.calgaryherald.com/opinion...316/story.html

I really need to write her a letter after the steam finishes coming out of my ears.
write away people!
post #2 of 20
I am so sick of hearing about the "special moment" and "intimacy" that is breastfeeding. It just makes it seem sexual or something that should only be done in private. It's EATING. It should not be hidden any more than a mom bottle-nursing should be hidden. When I nursed DS, sometimes I sat down and looked in his eyes and stroked his hair and it was a very intimate moment. Sometimes I was walking around the mall, holding him with one arm while he ate. It's not something private that should be hidden because "OMG, IT'S BREASTS!!!" It's EATING. It's feeding a baby!

I can't believe she actually said taking pictures of breastfeeding was the same as photocopying your butt at an office party. That's so ludicrous that I can't even comprehend it.

ETA: It also irks me that the title refers to breastfeeding mothers as "new" mothers. As if the only BFing moms are the brand new ones. Because when they are able to pull the oh-so-important blanket off their heads so they can BREATHE while they eat, they're too old to nurse! :
post #3 of 20
Quote:
According to a news story, hundreds of people are joining the Facebook protest group every hour--don't these people have lives?
OK this statement about made me pee my pants, or maybe it's the baby kicking me in the bladder, either way, hilarious! : She's writing about how thousands of people joined the group, something that subsequently took way longer than joining a facebook group takes. "Hello. Pot? This is Kettle! Um, you're black!" I guess it does take "all kinds to make a world."
post #4 of 20
Does anyone have the link handy of the blog that has all the old photos of nursing moms? I would like to send it to her so that she can see that the protest is not a result of today's show-it-all culture...it's just feeding babies, like has been done for generations (well, since the beginning of time...but it's been photographed for generations!!).
post #5 of 20
Okay, here's the problem with her argument. She's saying "posting pictures of yourself bf-ing is voyeuristic and narcissistic so you shouldn't do it". But basically what she's describing is the whole point of Facebook itself!

The site EXISTS so people can post photos and descriptions of themselves doing whatever matters to them, and let other people (so called "friends", or the public in general) see and share them. Yes, the concept of Facebook is voyueristic and narcissistic, indeed. (I'm not a fan of the site myself). But no more so for those who post pictures of themselves nursing than for those who post pictures of themselves drinking at clubs, wearing risque halloween costumes, winning trophies, pursuing favorite hobbies, kissing their spouses, or enjoying exotic vacations. All these people are showing off too, and some of what they show off may be tasteless or immodest or better left private. But Facebook's business is to let users do what they join the site for.

I do think Facebook has a right (because it is a corporate entity and no one is forced to use their free service) to determine and enforce a set of decency standards if they choose - as to what crosses the line to avoid pornography or obscenity on the site.

But they do have an obligation to be consistent and clear - and so far they haven't been. They say they aren't opposed to bf photos, just showing nipples or full breasts. But they are removing bf photos where no nipple shows, and they are also leaving up many photos of exposed breasts not involving babies/nursing. Singling out nursing photos for different treatment than other photos of exposed nudity is wrong. If you supposedly have a policy then stick to it.

And of course, users have every right to lobby Facebook for a more progressive policy. It would be great if they were responsive to the feedback. But it sounds like they aren't going to take it seriously.
post #6 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by nukedwifey View Post
OK this statement about made me pee my pants, or maybe it's the baby kicking me in the bladder, either way, hilarious! : She's writing about how thousands of people joined the group, something that subsequently took way longer than joining a facebook group takes. "Hello. Pot? This is Kettle! Um, you're black!" I guess it does take "all kinds to make a world."

I'm laughing right along with you. Does she know that it takes about 2 seconds to join a Facebook group?
post #7 of 20
It's the Calgary Herald? I'm unsurprised.
post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post
I am so sick of hearing about the "special moment" and "intimacy" that is breastfeeding. It just makes it seem sexual or something that should only be done in private. It's EATING. It should not be hidden any more than a mom bottle-nursing should be hidden. When I nursed DS, sometimes I sat down and looked in his eyes and stroked his hair and it was a very intimate moment. Sometimes I was walking around the mall, holding him with one arm while he ate. It's not something private that should be hidden because "OMG, IT'S BREASTS!!!" It's EATING. It's feeding a baby!
Exactly! Sometimes I'll look down on DD all lovey-dovey and whatnot...but most of the time I'm attempting to type up a post while she's nursing. It's not some giant intimate thing. It's more like "here, you eat while I try not to be bored!" Before I had children, sure...boobs are intimate and you don't want anyone seeing them....after? Who cares?! They're just another functional part of being a mom.

As for the editorial...people just don't get it. I don't normally post pictures of myself nursing. I don't post pictures of myself at all, actually...since having DD I look like crap, so why would I? However, I did participate in the nurse-in because I it offends me that Facebook says nursing is obscene. I don't want that message to get out of new moms or future new moms. It's not about the pictures...it's about the reason they were removed.
post #9 of 20
Okay, I found that link, and I sent my e-mail to Ms. Lakritz Thanks for sharing this, OP.

ETA: Whoa, I already got a response from her, that was fast!
post #10 of 20
My response to Ms. Lakritz (long!):

Seriously, I'd love it is Facebook disappeared from the face of the world. People will post all sorts of pictures of themselves. I personally have no urge to post pictures for the whole world to see of my wedding, my ultrasound, my child's first birthday, myself drunk at my cousin's wedding etc. etc.

However, feeding a kid is feeding a kid. Breasts are not obscene. Breastfeeding is not like dropping your pants! It isn't all that intimate, really. How is it different than holding a baby and bottle feeding it? That is pretty "intimate" and nobody would take those pictures down from Facebook.

I have breastfed two children, and will a third a few months. I know people in North America tend to think it is something that needs to be covered up (discreetly, with a blanket or a shawl), and that breasts are, if not entirely, primarily sexual. But I think the culture needs to change. Let's get over it. I will not cover up my baby if I am "out" and my child is hungry. If people don't like seeing a bit of my breast, they can look away. Or perhaps they can look, and then next time they see an advertisement for beer with bikini-clad models, their perceptions of breasts will be a little different. Hopefully the children of those people will not be offended. People in my parents and grandparents generations were offended by seeing an interracial couple. Thankfully, those prejudices are far less of a force nowadays.

Legs are sexy too--but very few people have a problem with women posting a picture of themselves in shorts. The same analogy could be made with long hair, the nape of the neck, the ankles, and other body part that can be found sexually attractive.

You ask "Why, indeed, the need for all this voyeuristic narcissism? Societal standards dictate that you don't walk around in general with your breasts showing. So, show some class and self-respect--two more commodities sadly conspicuous today by their absence. And if you have excess energy to devote to a cause, there are plenty of worthwhile ones you could channel it to instead." Facebook's raison d'etre is "voyeuristic narcissism," so this is not an argument specific to breastfeeding mothers. And as a cause, feminism is a damn good one!

The protesters are trying to change the cultural perception of breasts and breastfeeding. That is what the protest is about--not because they really care that much if they are allowed to post photos of themselves breastfeeding. They are trying to send a message to the world that breasts are not obscene and child-rearing is not obscene. Women's bodies are not designed solely for the sexual pleasure of men. While a woman is breastfeeding, she may take part in popular culture to the same extent any of the thousands of busty party-goers who post pictures of themselves on Facebook may.

I hope that you will think about these issues a bit and print a follow-up commentary.
post #11 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluepetals View Post
Okay, I found that link, and I sent my e-mail to Ms. Lakritz Thanks for sharing this, OP.

ETA: Whoa, I already got a response from her, that was fast!
can you summarize what she said?
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluepetals View Post
Okay, I found that link, and I sent my e-mail to Ms. Lakritz Thanks for sharing this, OP.

ETA: Whoa, I already got a response from her, that was fast!
Geez doesn't she have a life?
post #13 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post
I am so sick of hearing about the "special moment" and "intimacy" that is breastfeeding.
:

I love what Diane Weissinger has to say about breastfeeding being call 'special'. I heard her at a conference once talk Christmas as being a 'special' time and how you prepare and work then you are so very glad when it is over. Breastfeeding is not special. Breastfeeding is something you do every day, many times a day. Like eating and drinking. Sometimes it can be special and intimate and other times it is like grabbing a chocolate bar at the 7/11 because you forgot to pack a lunch. Nothing special about that!
post #14 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
Geez doesn't she have a life?
LOL!

Her response was very short, it just thanked me for my comments and restated some of her points about breastfeeding as a private act that should be done discreetly. I responded to her response. I don't think I will hear back from her again, though (I wasn't nasty or anything, I just figure she only responds once to people commenting).
post #15 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by meganmarie View Post
Yes, the concept of Facebook is voyueristic and narcissistic, indeed. (I'm not a fan of the site myself).
I resemble that remark!
Really though - FB is social tool, humans are very social animals. I feel the need to defend that. Your remarks, however, certainly do counter this journalist's statements well.

The Lissa, is the Calgary Herald along the lines of the Toronto Sun? Or more National Post?
post #16 of 20
I hate the "private" thing too. When people use it I try to explain that you can eat out with your friend/family and it can be nice and intimate and private, but sometimes you need to get fast food or throw a pizza in the oven. Just as eating with your friends/family can at times be private, it is at times public and hurried. Breastfeeding is the same way- sometimes it is private and intimate, but it isn't all the time- and frankly, if I tried to have an intimate connection every single time my baby nurses, it would be tiring! To expect that breastfeeding is always intimate is having unrealistic expectations. Sometimes my baby needs to eat on the go and at the food court just like me.
post #17 of 20
"voyeuristic narcissism"... so she's essentially saying that breast+mouth in a photo is equal to vagina+mouth in a photo?

when will these women ever learn.
post #18 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by terre_mere View Post
"voyeuristic narcissism"... so she's essentially saying that breast+mouth in a photo is equal to vagina+mouth in a photo?

when will these women ever learn.
???? I don't think that's what voyeuristic or narcissism mean.

I think she meant that people who post pictures of themselves breastfeeding are doing so out of a self-centered desire to show-off. Which is totally dumb.
post #19 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
???? I don't think that's what voyeuristic or narcissism mean.

I think she meant that people who post pictures of themselves breastfeeding are doing so out of a self-centered desire to show-off. Which is totally dumb.
Not to mention she's using the term "voyeuristic" wrong. The term she's looking for is exhibitionist. The narcissistic voyeurs are the ones trolling facebook looking for bfing photos to be offended by. Where'd she get her journalism degree, a crackerjack box?
post #20 of 20
sounds like somebody has major booby issues. why else would spend all that time writing about those voyeuristic and narcissistic yet intimate and truly special moments feeding our kids? i wonder if she gets up on her high horse about girls in bikinis at the beach.
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