post #21 of 58
1/8/09 at 6:18am
|I'm not saying birth and emotion are disconnected; of course they are very closely connected. And I do think that an extremely fearful or anxious mother can make labor much, much more difficult and frightening. But the other side of that coin is that a calm mother does not, and cannot, guarantee or ensure a painless (or even manageable pain-level) labor.|
|Jennica, if you want to try hypnosis for birth, why don't you try it for your periods? Get hypnobabies and just adapt it a bit to be a pain control method for your periods. See how it works for you.|
This is a bit of a ramble and I hope what I'm saing makes some sort of sense... What puzzles me is why pain is considered to be an automatically bad thing. To me it seems a necessary part of life that sometimes needs to be met head on.
|It seems like our culture in particular seems bent on suppressing any and all discomforts with all kinds of pills and whatnot.|
|Looking at how other cultures view/utilize pain is interesting. Sometimes it is seen a way to make oneself stronger. If you can endure a little pain, it can give you confidence in your endurance and your strength.|
|And the mind is pretty powerful -I do think a lot of enduring/overcoming pain is in the mind. I've had two births that involved both intense pain and intense pleasure - and I was fine with that. I am not sure I would have had the same intensity of one without the other.|
|I'm actually excited for this birth. I've been thinking about trying for an orgasmic birth... : but I'm not necessarily expecting it to be pain free, either. I also see pain in childbirth as a natural consequence the problem of having evolved as bipedal primates with exceptionally large brains|
|FWIW, I really hope you get yoru orgasmic birth!|
Ok, I get this for "regular" or "moderate" pain. But where would you draw the line and say that a woman who feels extreme pain might not be a great thing, or even an okay thing? And definitely not a "necessary" thing?
Sure, there's definitely a culture of "If I can avoid the pain of having a tooth drilled" or "If I can avoid the pain of a migraine" or "If I can avoid the pain of menstrual cramps" then "why wouldn't I?" And for a lot of people, that also transfers to the area of childbirth. However, there are plenty of women who approach birth head-on and have natural births, experience an extreme level of pain and don't walk away feeling like it's been a great or even tolerable experience. The magnitude of the pain and its relationship to the event are important. There comes a point, also, where the sheer magnitude of the pain, in my opinion, completely invalidates the comparison (to a migraine, toothache, or pretty much anything else short of major surgery or massive physical injuries).
A little pain? I think the point here is that we're really not talking about a little pain. We're talking about A LOT of pain. We're probably talking about pain of such degree that it causes PTSD, results in long-term consequences including considering not adding to a family that desires more children simply because it was *that bad* and women who experienced pain on a level that can only be equated with physical torture. I'm not sure it makes sense to try to overcome - or perhaps dismiss - that kind of experience with the idea that "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger."
I don't think it's possible to understand how bad it can be until you've experienced it. It is magnitudes, magnitudes worse than the normal pain of childbirth. It's not something you can describe in words (though of course you can try). So it's very difficult to have a conversation about it that's workable if you have Woman A who has experienced pain within the realm of normal and Woman B who has experienced extreme pain. The limit of Woman A's experience is birth and whatever else she may have experienced that was painful, like a root canal, broken bone, kidney stone, etc. Having not actually experienced the sensations, there is no way to really connect.
I found tremendous validation from a member here on MDC who posted that she just didn't get what the big deal was until her 3rd or 4th birth, where she had that mindblowing level of pain, and THEN she understood what some women were talking about. It really took her by surprise and changed her views.
FWIW, I really hope you get yoru orgasmic birth!
Since DS's birth I've learned about Hypnobabies and I'm honestly torn about whether I want to do it or not. I don't want to experience less, if that makes any sense. Of course "missing" several hours of my labor probably qualifies as experiencing less too. I think I probably will try Hypnobabies next time around .. that and visiting a chiropractor to see if I can do something about my hips.
Since DS's birth I've learned about Hypnobabies and I'm honestly torn about whether I want to do it or not. I don't want to experience less, if that makes any sense.