Favorite stress management techniques/tips?

[Bluebird9]

What are your best techniques for managing really stressful situations, especially ones that take time to be resolved? I've got a lot of stress in my life and I frequently don't deal with it well. Specifically, I can't fix certain things, and spend a lot of time focusing on them. Tell me about your experiences, esp. positive ones. Thanks!!!!

[clovermom]

Well, generally I don't put a lot of weight into affirmations (just my PERSONAL opinion), however... I have started using them as sort of a stress-coping mechanism lately. For example, mid-way through the pregnancy I had a lot of fears about going into preterm labor/miscarrying, so I would say to myself "I will carry this baby to term" over and over. Rationally I don't think that if something was going to happen that me saying this would change it, but it helps to calm and center me and get me thinking positively. I have used similar affirmations with other situations as well.

Another thing I do is to first remind myself that worrying over something you can't change is a complete waste of energy. I actually kind of say this like an affirmation. Then I try to think about what can I do (and make plans to do it) and let go of the rest.

I dont know if you are a religious person but just a bit of my own experience: when I first started praying I used to pray for God to change things for me or make something happen (like "God please make my placenta move"). Over time I have realized that all you can ask for is the grace/strength/patience to handle what God gives you. Praying in this way is so much more satisfying and helpful to me.

Im sorry you're stressed. Do you have friends or DP that you can at least vent to or talk to for some feedback?

[Bluebird9]

Thanks for your input

I do have dh, and some people to talk to, but talking about it doesn't seem to help me release because I'm just spending more time focusing on it. Mostly I need to improve my ability to not focus on things that are negative or that I can't fix. Alternately, my ability to focus on things that are good, because of course there are things that are good.

I find affirmations to be helpful sometimes, other times not at all. I tell myself, what good does it do to focus on neg. stuff, except to make all the rest of my life miserable. Be positively focused, you'll see the positive stuff.

[k13]

I agree with everything Clovermom said! I'm not gung-ho on affirmations either but I've been totally using "the power of positive thought" during this pregnancy!

Other things that help me are talking to my lady friends (in real life or online) OR journaling - writing out feelings that I wouldn't necessarily want to share. Just getting it out of my head somehow some way usually helps me a lot. Sometimes I will wake up in the night dwelling on something, and writing it down on paper and then closing the book on it often helps me "put it away" and move on.

I personally also really need time and space to myself to chill. Alone time like a walk or just locking myself in the bathroom for a long hot bath with some relaxing music help.

I am on pelvic rest so I can't go to yoga class anymore but it was AWESOME for stress relief. Besides yoga the focus was A LOT on relaxation and letting go of all those stresses in your life. It's not as easy to do on my own but I try.

Yes, focus on the good things. I remind myself of the things I have going for me, even if it is just a roof over my head or whatever. I remind myself of the crap I have survived and know I am strong and can handle whatever the universe throws at me.

[tomsTXmom]

Ya, what Clovermom said! I think self affirmation mantra's, weather you believe what you're saying or not, can be potentially helpful if you use them enough.

I also have several guided imagery CD's that help me too. I tend to have a wondering mind, and in times of weakness, I find listing to someone suggesting to me what to think about, helps me to focus and calm down.

Failing that, homeopathy helps me too.

I find hormones don't necessary help my ability to think rationally.

I guess much of it for me comes down to just training my brain to cope. Not all that happens will be good, or bad. Bad will happen, but I can handle my reaction to it. I believe that if I live long enough, my life will, somehow, balance out. And that as many horrible, devastating things that have happened to me, I have had amazingly good stuff happen too. I try to focus on that when bad stuff is beginning to happen. I figure if I just hold on, I will have a time of peace and happiness again.

I have you in my thoughts and prayers Bluebird.

[AKislandgirl]

I find that walking, yoga, and baths help me to feel better. While not solving the problem they help me to cope with stressful situations and feel better emotionally and physically.

Also, just being able to let go. Somethings are harder to let go then others but being able to release negative/stressful aspects of your life can be so rewarding. It's hard for me to do but has helped.