Choosing a home and going bonkers. Any advice?

[insahmniak]

So mortgage rates are now super low and we've been looking around. We're in the fortunate position of renting, so no contingencies for us. Yay.

But this searching is driving me nuts. I love looking at houses. It's not really that. I think it's that the criteria and priorities I have are different from my partner.

For me, location and neighbors are most important. DP walks/bikes to work and I love just having one car. Also, neighbors and sense of community are super important. I have just one child and she really needs good playmates.

I also would like to buy an updated place - one I would feel comfortable in right away. Not one that needs lots of attention. DP and I have already lived in a Rehab House once and I really, really don't want to do it again. Remodel is expensive and seems to drag on and on and on....

But DP is in End Times mode it seems. He wants a house that will be easy to take off-grid and one with a huge yard. These are very few and far between at a price we can afford in the places that are attractive to me.

So what do you do when you don't agree on housing? He said he'd be cool with whatever I wanted if I was going to be happy there. So I could easily trump him but I don't want to....but I want to. YK?

Anyone else have a hard time agreeing on what house to buy or where to live? How'd it end up?

[AnalogWife]

I'd probably try to sell him on Urban Homesteading. Once in a while I wish that we lived more rurally, but we both *hate* driving, so having short commutes (we also have one car) is a real plus, and I love taking long walks around our neighborhood, you just can't do that some places in the country. We're also growing towards self-sustainability which is just as possible in the city as it is out-there. As for a big yard, show him what these people do on 1/5th acre in Pasadena: http://www.pathtofreedom.com/ :goodluck:

[Ola_]

Yes, we were in that exact spot just a year and a half ago. We looked at many houses and each fell in love with one - it just wasn't the same one! We did finally come to a decision but it wasn't easy, wish I had some useful tips to share. It seems like we disagree on many of these types of decisions, it can be exhausting, can't it?

But I certainly wouldn't rush, you may just find a house that suits both of you. Depending on who you ask things may be going down more before they come back up.

[SAHDS]

We looked at houses for more than a year and we both found the one we wanted on the same day, although it wasn't the same one, LOL.

DH gives in, easily, to what I want so I got my house To be fair, I am the SAHP and am home for 90% of my life. I clean, decorate, organize, etc. and wanted a house I absolutely loved.

It's a walk to the exact school I wanted, a walk to the beach, a walk to a ball field and soccer field w/ track and it was completely updated with tons of space. So, I just had to make sure he knew all of that. I didn't just want him to cave to me (although, if it needed to come to that...LOL)

They say "location, location, location" but it is SOOOOOOO true!

OP - What's your DH's definition of a "huge yard" and why the need for the room exactly?

[insahmniak]

Not trying to time the market so much as getting a good interest rate and I'm afraid the rates will go up and we'll get less house for more $.

And Yes Yes Yes about urban homesteading. We're doing a bit of that now in our rental - chickens and a raised-bed garden and we've even started some fruit trees. But if it were ours I'd put raised beds in the entire yard. I'd plant a few more fruit trees, grapes, and we'd have nothing to mow. The lot we're on is .16 acre - not large - but I think we could do a heckuvalot with it. DP doesn't want the moon, but he wants at least .20 and preferably .25 -.33. He wants it for urban homesteading and gardening, like me. He just wants more of it. I think it'd be more than we could probably handle. Farming is consuming! But in the area I'm interested in an updated home on that size lot is probably out of our reach.

So now I'm wondering who on MDC has the record for looking the longest. Looking for a year?! That stuns me. What stamina and patience you have.

What about regrets? Anyone pass one up they should have jumped on? Anyone end up buying the wrong house out of sheer exhaustion? My dear sister did that. She cautioned me to take a break before I reached that point.

[SAHDS]

Originally Posted by insahmniak

What about regrets? Anyone pass one up they should have jumped on? Anyone end up buying the wrong house out of sheer exhaustion? My dear sister did that. She cautioned me to take a break before I reached that point.

No regrets. We found our "perfect house" and put a contingency offer on it. Well, after 3 months, someone else bought it but their financing fell through so, by the time our house actually sold, it was back on the market. Long story short, we re-looked at it and were like "WTF? This was NOT the house for us".

And our searching was only "serious" for 8 months so we never got worn out. I just checked the realtor's websites a few times a week and kept my eyes open.

We ended up with the perfect home for us and I could not be happier.

GOOD LUCK!

Oh, and we have 1/3 of an acre and it's perfect for us DH planted our organic garden the third day we lived here, LOL.

[Peppermint Leaf]

my DH and I are realtors so I will give it to you from my perspective.

I have lots of patience and have worked with people for over a year -- and I mean like several times per month going out looking... DH and I feel very strongly that you should get that "ahhh" feeling as soon as you walk through the door ... hold out and wait for it .. it will come.... the one that is just right ... at the end of the day .. you don't want to say "what have I done!"" ... you want "wow = look what we just did .. yeah!"

everyone is entitled to fall in love with a place :

I have to tell you that it quite often happens that the couple don't agree on a house --- but usually the wife wins .. particularly if she is a Stay at home Mom.

Be honest with yourselves about renovating ..... do you have the money to fix it right away? if not can you live with it the way it is? are you budgeting for you doing the work yourself? do you have experience renovating? I find quite often that the DH says he will do it and it doesn't get done and they are in over their heads.

Go back and look at it -- the first time is a bit like the first date -- you don't always see the flaws first time around :-) ..... and look at it in different lights (morning, noon and night) .. it wouldn't be the first time that I have had a client wanting to buy a home only to go back again and "just not feeling it" the second visit. ...

I highly recommend you get out of your car and go for a walk in a neighbourhood you are considering. .. and drive-by at different times of the day and week .... that quiet house you looked at this morning might have a rock-band living next door that meets every weekend until 2 am!
:

Have fun looking

[Ola_]

I must be the sucker in the group because we bought the house that my husband wanted. I do like it though (obviously, otherwise we wouldn't have bought it). It has a much bigger yard (we have two dogs) and in general is in a nice mature neighbourhood, good layout, lots of storage space. It needs a lot of updating though, that's what we're dealing with now.

[chel]

we looked for almost 4 yrs and just bought 2m ago. We had just moved to a different part of the country and planned to just rent a small 2br appt for a year. When the lease was up we hadn't found a place so we just continued to rent. Dh was the one to put his foot down and say we need to find something. I would have been content renting.
Wanting to keeep dd in the same school we had a very tiny area to look at. We mostly looked online and at open houses and did use 2 realtors but ended up buying on our own with an attorney.

overall, Dh loves the new home. I like it but find it too big and irked at all the little things that come with home ownership. Though it has a great yard and I know will be great in the summer. We also have entertained more in the past 2m than we did in the 4yrs.

we probably considered 10-15 places and the one we bought was the best of all we had seen.

[SAHDS]

Originally Posted by Ola_

I must be the sucker in the group because we bought the house that my husband wanted. I do like it though (obviously, otherwise we wouldn't have bought it). It has a much bigger yard (we have two dogs) and in general is in a nice mature neighbourhood, good layout, lots of storage space. It needs a lot of updating though, that's what we're dealing with now.

That sounds like the house DH wanted. Huge, park-like back yard but the house was straight out of 1985 and I knew I didn't want to hassle with it.