Originally Posted by Lolagirl
On the one hand you agree that the OP's little boy was engaging in developmentally appropriate behavior for his age and relationship with his sister, but you still seem to be conflating it with the issue of defending oneself against inappropriate touches.
No. That's not at all what I mean. I truly do not think he was doing anything innapropriate.
But, let's say the older brother is touching his sister's hair. She says "stop it". He doesn't stop it. She says "stop". He doesn't stop. (he's a brother after all... that's what siblings do, they annoy each other)
Sure, she SHOULD go tell on him. But, instead she swipes at him and hits his hand really hard.
"Stop" should always mean stop. It doesn't matter what it is. If he is sitting on her stomach, pulling her hair, or getting in her face. She has the right to her own space and say "Stop". If she doesn't have the right to defend "stop it" or "no" with her own brother, she won't feel like she has the right to defend her space with the next older kid who tries to get in her space. The next time, it might not be her brother. Her brother might not be there to defend her.
I am just saying that every kid has the right to defend their personal space.
He's learning something from this too. Now when she says "Knock it off" he might take her more seriously.
I wish I'd had the nerve to bop my brother when he was picking on me. I was NEVER allowed to win an argument with him. Now, I can't win an argument with my husband. I don't even try. He gets mad, I back down immediately. But, what if, when I was four, I had hit my brother when he was yanking my hair? What if, when I hit him, my Mom had backed ME up and said "Well, leave her alone". Would I be better equipped to defend myself now? (not physically, just in a typical argument)
Again, the big brother was being normal. Not out of line at all. I just don't think she was that far out of line either.