Why Did She Do This?

[trimestersdoula]

I never really gave my c/s incision much thought until my friend had one. I had never seen a normal c/s incision IRL before and I noticed that mine is MUCH larger than my friends. Hers is normal....big enough to get the head out. Mine is from hipbone to hipbone. I am wondering if the incision on my uterus is bigger than normal too? I haven't gone back to see her because of that beetch from her office telling my family I was having a baby boy. I don't want to go back to her as a doctor. I would like to see the results from the ultrasound I had 2 days before she was born and I would also like to know if the incision she made is going to force me to have another c/s. If that is the case I am done having children. I will not put myself through what I went through again. If it is absolutely necessary, for some reason when I am in labor then fine but I will not schedule a c/s for myself because a doctor screwed up on the first one.

Anyways, this is more of a rant than anything. You don't have to reply if you don't want to.

[Marcimama]

One thought, are you (your frame) smaller than your friend? Could it possible just look bigger because of that?
I am sorry you had such a frustrating experience! That would have made me mad too. Hugs!

[trimestersdoula]

Nope. She is petite. I am MUCH bigger than she is.

[Baby_Cakes]

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. My suggestion is to get your records transferred over to a new OB and see a different doctor and ask the same questions. Keep asking different doctors if you have to in order to get a straight answer. You have a right to know these things! These are things they did to your body! Hopefully, armed with the right information and a good OB you trust, you can try for a VBAC in the future.

[urchin_grey]

Did you have an emergency c/s? I ask because I had a scheduled c/s (I was barely 20, they talked me into it because DS has a joint deformity) and I remember her talking about how she was going to make the incision low and small, specifically to increase my chances of having a VBAC in the future. But mine was scheduled and I wasn't even in labor when I had it... So I figure the outcome could be a lot different in an emergency c/s (and precisely the reason I was scared and went ahead and did it, even though I regret it now).

Anyway, after reading a birth story here of a mama having a HBA4C, I don't see why you couldn't give VBAC'ing an honest go.

[trimestersdoula]

Thanks girls.

No it wasn't an emergency c/s. It was just done after 45 hours of labor.

[Faerieshadow]

I have no answers or anything really productive, I just couldn't read this without posting. I can feel your anger at this woman (rigthfully so of course!) and I hope you find out the answers. I like Carrie's idea of having the records transferred to someone who isn't going to tick you off or try to make light of what happened to you in order to not look like they are at fault.

[OrchideZ]

Originally Posted by urchin_grey

Did you have an emergency c/s? I ask because I had a scheduled c/s (I was barely 20, they talked me into it because DS has a joint deformity) and I remember her talking about how she was going to make the incision low and small, specifically to increase my chances of having a VBAC in the future. But mine was scheduled and I wasn't even in labor when I had it... So I figure the outcome could be a lot different in an emergency c/s (and precisely the reason I was scared and went ahead and did it, even though I regret it now).

Anyway, after reading a birth story here of a mama having a HBA4C, I don't see why you couldn't give VBAC'ing an honest go.

My c-section was done as an emergency by a surgeon taking over for my midwife and we discussed nothing. It happened really quickly.
My scar is only about 5 inches long and is very low, right at the top of my pubic hair.
I second Carrie's idea.

[Changed]

Mine shrunk a lot over time. At first it was really loooong but now you can hardly see it. I hope that's the case for you.

[CindyCindy]

You definitely need some . How long ago was your friends c/s? Like Changed said, maybe hers has just shrunk over time and yours is still more fresh? You have some research ahead of you though. I have never heard of the size of a scar forcing you to do another c/s, but talk to several different o/bs and figure out if any of them will support you in a VBAC. Keep telling your story until you start to heal from this. I had to talk about my birth several times to just get over the anger I felt.

[PassionateWriter]

i recommend getting your records and be sure to include that you want nurses notes and all dx test results including u/s's. you need to see them for yourself and perhaps take them to a MW to get them interpreted if need be.

i wouldnt give up hope of a vbac but depending on where you are it can be very very difficult to obtain.

ive had 2 c/s' and had one ectopic pregnancy (all three surgeries used the same scar). my scar is 7 inches wide. not small but not huge either. i dont think it matters what is on the outside though..its what is on the inside that is most important..and w/o your records you wont know that.

im sorry you are having a hard time processing your surgery. when i realized what happened to me, i was angry for a very very long time. and then angry at hte dr. that wanted to do it to me AGAIN (for ds3..who was ultimately my first vbac).

s....surgical births suck..whether necessary or not...they are very very difficult to process. (at least it was for ME..and i didnt process my surgical births until 8 plus years after the 2nd one).

eta: my c/s's were 18 and almost 11 years ago so the 7 inches have not shrank in that time. ;(

[myjulybabes]

Was the baby oddly positioned at all? My first and 2nd sections, the baby was transverse--first one was hip to hip. The second one wasn't quite that far, but was fairly large. My third, baby was head down and that incision was much much smaller.

[mamanurse]

Awww Jaclyn... I'm sorry you're so upset. I would probably be too. I have no idea why your incision is so wide, but I think that the incision on the uterus is what really matters when consdering VBACs. I agree with what pp have said on having your records transferred to a different OB so you can discuss what happened with someone unbiased.

[Turtlemum]

Yeah, get your OR records. They should state what kind of incision was made on the uterus and if there were any complications ie bleeding, extension of the incision etc. Likely the size of the scar on the outside is NOT indicative of the scar on the uterus. I once had a client have an enormous scar made because the doc let the resident do the first cut . I really think you have the right to have your case and care reviewed. And regardless you might find counselling helpful - not because of feeling this way but to help you heal from a traumatic event.

I think you have a great chance at a VBAC and I bet your OR records will reflect this.

Hugs.

[trimestersdoula]

OMGoodness. Thanks so much girls. What you have said makes me feel a lot better. I think I am going to get my records transferred and get all my results.

I really hope that the outside scar is not indicative of what she did on the inside. I really hope not. Calli was perfectly positioned head down. I could have seen the scar being as big as it is if she were transverse but she wasn't.

My friend actually had her c/s 6 weeks after mine and hers is less than half the size of mine I mean, the scar doesn't bother me so much, I am just scared that she made a bigger than necessary cut on my uterus as well. With this doctor.....I wouldn't doubt it. I have not heard of one woman going to her that hasn't had a c/s And we live in a relatively small town where everyone knows everyone.

I have a friend/client due at the end of this month. She is using the same doctor I had. I tried letting her know that this dr. probably wasn't the best choice but she decided to go with her anyways. So I guess we will see how it goes when she has her baby but unfortunately she will probably end up with the doctor trying to make her have a c/s.

[Changed]

Really though, even if the scar was that big on your uterus- what does that mean? Could mean nothing. I don't think the VBAC risk work up includes scar size at all, just vertical or horizontal and such. Try not to worry. My scar was hip to hip and I've had 2 VBACs with no problems. Honestly, the fact that your first birth was a section is a bigger risk factor in a Dr.s mind than how big your incision. Next time skip the Dr.

[trimestersdoula]

Thanks for telling me that, Changed.

I hope by the next time I get pregnant I CAN skip the doc. We don't have midwives here They aren't allowed at the hospital in our town and they aren't allowed to do homebirths until they have done a bunch of new crap for the province. That crap includes having to work at a hospital and take a bunch of new tests that the province provides and jump through a bazillion hoop and red tape. It is such a bad situation here. I made it until week 38 without a doctor and then the hospital told me I HAD to have a doctor to deliver at the hospital

I should have just gone with my original plan and UC'd I sometimes get soooo mad at myself for giving in to them. I really need to get past that.

[PassionateWriter]

Originally Posted by Changed

Really though, even if the scar was that big on your uterus- what does that mean? Could mean nothing. I don't think the VBAC risk work up includes scar size at all, just vertical or horizontal and such. Try not to worry. My scar was hip to hip and I've had 2 VBACs with no problems. Honestly, the fact that your first birth was a section is a bigger risk factor in a Dr.s mind than how big your incision. Next time skip the Dr.

yk, i couldnt agree more after thinking about this. i dont have the records to my 2 c/s's...never requested them, they are out of state, etc. etc. etc. and i still went on to have 2 vbacs....my scar could be small inside or large, who knows??? and if they dont know, then it cant be that bad, right? (although, in all fairness, the hbac i had with Zen was "underground" so i called ALL the shots on that one....no one was telling me what to do....but with my VBAC, i wasnt as confident and i did jump through some hoops - when you transfer from on OB to a MW at 34 weeks, some more hoops arent that big of a deal! lol!).

im sorry things are so bad in your area. that bites teh big one too...and i guess its reaching beyond hte ole' USA now for bad medical care for child birth. thats sad too. keep the faith though..there is always someone out there willing to homebirth...always!!!! pm me if you ever want to talk about what your TRUE options are, instead of what "they" tell you your options are (every MW i talked to in my state said i had no choice but to deliver in a hospital, even though i had a VBAC after my 2 c/s's..that was just not acceptable to me and not an environment that i wished to birth in).

s again

[jlbaby]

Originally Posted by trimestersdoula

I should have just gone with my original plan and UC'd I sometimes get soooo mad at myself for giving in to them. I really need to get past that.

this made me sad........i just wanted to say give yourself time to heal, and let yourself be mad, angry, frustrated, etc. i still grieve my first traumatic birth experience in different ways - it took me quite a long time to process it and try to "get over it" as best i could. it's such a let-down when things don't work out the way we envision them. if anything, all the knowledge you gain from this birth experience will only help enhance any future birth experiences you may have. that is certainly what happened to me!!

[PassionateWriter]

yk, what jlbaby just said makes alot of sense. its not that anyone is happy with a baby birth experience, but i can say that if i didnt have the first 2 horrible birth experiences i woudl not have had a great VBAC and then a great HBAC and i wouldnt have bothered (more than likely) to research birth. so in a way, there is a silver lining. i learned what NOT to allow for my birth (slowly....i didnt completely learn it with my VBAC).