I'll chime in here and say that Steph is probably right in terms of the court's view. Of course, stbx's attorney and any court will say that I deprived him of visitation for 2 months, and LEGALLY anyway, he could do the same to me without fear of reprisal (right now where there is as of yet no visitation order). The courts, of course, wouldn't order any make up time for me taking ds for so long, but they'll certainly factor that behavior into the custody decision.
Which is why I'm going back ASAP to maintain frequent visitation between stbx and ds BEFORE a visitation order is set.
I am going to bend over backward to be the good guy here at this point. I think stbx will totally hang himself. And while I'm certainly concerned about my child's well-being and happiness (since stbx has never really taken care of him before), I'm going to bite my tongue, and offer suggestions to him gently about how to make his parenting time with ds easier on him
. My motive is of course, to make the time with his dad comfortable for ds, but if stbx thinks I'm criticizing or controlling about parenting he will be vindictive, as pp pointed out. And stbx is primarily a very selfish lazy person, so if something's easier for him, and he feels like he can get more while expending less effort, he will always go the easier route.
I dont think he'll last 2 weeks with taking ds every day, even if it is only 4-5 hours at a time. Ds is teething.
2 whole days with a teething jet-lagged toddler will make him run for the hills.