And maybe DS will get a stomach virus while he's on the plane that will suddenly come on during a visit?
Just one comment, your gentle parenting advice will still be taken as criticism... So be careful. Most likely, as I've learned the hard way, it's best to say nothing. Although later you may be taken to task for not giving advice.
Ack, these things suck!
What I decided was appropriate to share with stbx was not necessarily instructional, so much as informational. Such as:
1) Ds can now move furniture around to use as step stools, and quite often is found on tables, counters, etc. if not watched CONSTANTLY. He loves to climb anything right now.
2) In the past few weeks, he has developed an affinity for sucking on cords . Stbx has cords EVERYWHERE in our house/the house in Maine that ds will experiment on.
3) Ds can now open doors, if he can reach the handle.
These are just a few things I could think of. I think its only fair to stbx that he is informed of these things, not only to save his sanity, but to protect my son. Stbx has never really been involved or observant about ds's ever blossoming capabilities, and even less so now, because he hasnt been around him recently. He is also pretty clueless about being vigilant - like I mentioned previously, his main activity is to hang out on the couch and watch TV while ds careens around the house. But if he tries that now, ds will be on the bathroom counter, getting into the medicine cabinet, etc, etc.
Also, one of my HUGE contentions with stbx was his unwillingness to properly childproof our house. He REFUSED to install drawer latches because he didn't want to mar his expensive cabinets, and wouldn't install a top-of-stairs gate for the same reason - he didn't want holes in his precious woodwork. I had to remove all the knives from the drawers and keep them out of ds' reach, the stairs were an absolute nightmare. We slept upstairs, so ds and I slept in our room with the door closed (to prevent him from waking and taking a stroll down the stairs), which meant the room got freezing, because the only heat was wood heat, and the room didnt get heated with the door closed all night. Now that ds can open doors, though...
So anyway, you can see my concern. Also, stbx owns guns, and quite often he would lean them against a wall or let them hang out in a corner, much to my annoyance, and regardless of my harping on him about the danger. He thinks I overreact about guns in general. I hate them. He thinks kids should be exposed to them and its perfectly okay for a gun to just be leaning on a wall for a child to explore (if its not loaded). He counters that if its forbidden, it will be more attractive. I agree with that sentiment regarding a lot of things - BUT ITS A GUN!!! Lock it up! He owns several, so there's always a gun around somewhere. He has a locking gun safe, but its full. really. The man owns over 20 guns. I am seriously concerned that he might put them in a closet, but ds can open doors now, and stbx wont want to install locks because of his precious woodwork...Plus, if ds is in the habit of handling even safely unloaded firearms, what the hell would stop him from playing with a gun that might be loaded at someone else's house? (stbx's family all hunts. They are a gun-happy bunch) This was an ongoing argument between stbx and I, but at least I was always there to keep ds' environment safe. Now that I'm not there? Its just going to be very hard for me.
I digress again. My stbx is all about himself. Really. I have reason to be concerned about ds' safety around his dad. Its not (all) because I'm controlling
So I'm going to try and let him know where ds is in terms of abilities, otherwise ds will be in danger, and stbx will be pissed off if ds, IDK, knocks over a gun and scratches it? But I will try not to be too overboard. Fire by trial is not a good idea in our situation, given stbx' complete lack of judgment regarding toddler-safety.