Originally Posted by frontierpsych
I just wonder why people feel the need to ask obvious questions when it comes to this type of thing. Like:
"I plan to breastfeed."
"But what if you can't breastfeed?"
are they expecting "Then I'll do it anyways, dammit!"
"I'm planning a homebirth."
"but what if you need a c-section?"
obviously the answer would be "then I'll transfer and have a c-section." are they expecting "That's what butcher knives are for!"?
AAAUGH I know!! Lol. I get that with breastfeeding a lot.
Also, my friend came from out of town yesterday, asked me something about my cats, and then she goes, so, what if your kid is allergic to your cats? Like, WHY would you say that to me? Obviously I am committed as a parent to my child's health (and also as a "pet owner," to my pets); obviously I hope it doesn't come to that, and chances are it will not, but IF it does, I will address the situation in one of several obvious ways as any other parent would. Did she expect me to say, well I won't do anything, I don't care if my child suffers?! If one solution doesn't work, then I will try another solution, and I will make it work. I mean there are several obvious solutions, from treating the allergies to re-homing the pets, and I assume most people would at least attempt to make things work in a way that was healthy for everyone before having to re-home a pet, but I can't know how that would turn out unless it happened and would do what I needed to address the situation as it presented itself to me.
So by asking me that question, it was like she knew what the obvious answer would be, in general, knew it would be a difficult situation if it came up, but chose to ask me to predict what I will do in an unlikely situation that is not relevant now anyways- what am I supposed to say to that?? I think because I am a vegan and believe in animal rights, she has this subconscious notion that I am a crazy extremist who would put animals before people or something.. whereas I believe there are usually solutions that can accommodate the rights of both animals and people. But, no, just because I am a vegan does not
mean I will ignore and fail to treat any medical concern in my child, related to pets or otherwise..
I think with a lot of NFL/AP/whatever practices, some people actually do expect, somewhere deep in their psyche, that we would attempt a kitchen table cesarean over a hospital birth.. or starve our child if we couldn't breastfeed.. because they are seeing our lifestyles and choices as extreme and differing from the mainstream, rather than seeing the values
they tend to be rooted in, which as someone pointed out, are the important thing. If someone is looking at natural birth, breastfeeding, etc. in the context of honoring the body and the child and trying to protect their best interests, it becomes clear that if things do not go as planned, the solution is to come up with a new plan that meets those values and honors your child- but if they are only seeing the specific "strange" practices and taking them at face value, judging them as unfamiliar and extreme, some odd preconceptions tend to come out.
|Originally Posted by Momily
So, while I think if you set your mind on certain parenting "practices" you're likely to fail to some degree, but if you set your mind on using certain values to guide your parenting choices, then I think you'll be successful.