How do you cheer yourself up when you start feeling gloomy about finances or the economy (or both)?

[amyamanda]

I'm just really down about it today, thinking about the impact of what his happening and what may be down the road. Thinking about how my DH's company has had to delay paychecks until their client pays them, so his check is a week and a half late. Thinking about how my work is completely at the whim of my (admittedly very nice) employer, but they decide how much I can work and how quickly I get paid.

Most of the time I feel pretty okay, and I've taken a lot of steps that help me feel our family is more secure, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed. It hit me earlier today and I'm feeling so powerless.

What are the things you do to pull yourself out of the dumps when you're down about these things? Obviously retail therapy is out, LOL. I would love some ideas.

[zersha]

It sounds like you are down because you are feeling somewhat powerless in regards to your jobs and finances. I would not like never knowing for sure when the paycheck was coming.

When things make me feel this way, I guess I just look at what I can proactively do to change the situation. Or try to concentrate on the things you are greatful for. It sounds horrible, but sometimes reading about others who are going through hard times too helps. I suppose because it makes a person feel not so alone in their situation, even though I don't wish it on others.

Is there anything either of you could do to get more control? Find a different job? Go back to school? Look aggresively at lowering your expenses? Usually when I think things are sucky, it helps somewhat if I look at it as a challenge and think "what can I do to change this situation?"

[josybear]

i tend to get obsessive and anxiety-ridden about our situation, so i have to go on 'denial breaks' where i don't read this board and don't check and recheck and rerecheck my bank account and don't mentally tally how many cents per serving a meal is - i'm not saying i spend money, but i keep doing what i'm doing (frugality, that is) without thinking about the bigger picture. distract myself.

[amyamanda]

Wow, I guess now I know why I was feeling so down this afternoon.

DH came home early. He got laid off. I had no idea until he walked through the door...but...I guess on some level, I must have known. Wow.

It wasn't something we thought would happen right now. They've been good about giving us heads-up when things are tough. I guess the late paycheck should have been sufficient warning.

Thank you for the suggestions so far, and I would welcome more.

I have done a lot of things to make myself feel more in control. And I do still have my job, and my DH is resourceful and is a good provider, so if he can come up with something else to do, he will. We are better off now than we were six months ago - better prepared to garden and can, stocked up on hand-me-downs, fairly full pantry and freezer, etc etc etc. I wanted to get even more prepared, though. We have weathered financial difficulties before, but this time it seems so huge, in light of the other economy stuff. It's not like it's happening just to us and everyone else is doing fine so we know we'll be able to get back to "fine," too - so many people are struggles, I have less hope this time.

I am just so sad. I was just about to start fiddle lessons for one of my DDs, after over a year of her and I both really wanting it and putting it off and waiting until it seemed important and right (in our otherwise frugal homeschooling life), and now I wonder if I can even let myself still consider it. Her heart would break and thus would mine. I guess the first step is to figure out our new budget.

I am rambling, and I'm sorry about that...thanks for the support.

[beebalmmama]

I know how you feel. I started to hear bad news about my job right before the holidays. I fretted and got all anxious for weeks. I went into denial over the holidays because I didn't want it to ruin my families time off together. I tried to feel better by thinking how we made it financially when I stayed home with DS. But like you said it was easier to be optimistic when we saw that others were okay, for us we saw it was if both partners worked. So we saw the time home for me as a financial sacrifice to be with DS. Still I was trying not to worry becasue DH is making a bit more now (not much, but when every dollar counts). But now the school district DH works for is talking about budget cuts for next year (no surprise) but I didn't expect teaching staff's positions could be in the pot. He's a year under his tenure, so to speak, with the district. I thought teaching was a safe job during recessions! This is starting to get scary to me and now I'm thinking we need a back up plan. Where do we go if we both lose our jobs? I think we have about six months to wait and see, but oh so stressful for right now.

[AuntNi]

Oh, Amanda! I am so sorry to hear your news.

I, too, can get really gloomy about the economy. My company closed its doors Thanksgiving week, and I'm still job hunting.

This might be perverse, but the best news I've heard in weeks was when economists finally admitted in Dec 08 that we've been in a recession since Dec 07. That, to me, means things will get better sooner rather than later. I might be fooling myself, but it honestly does make me feel better.

The other thing that helps is escapism. Fun books, fun movies, taking DD to the pool (we got a scholarship at the Y.)

Sending your DH lots of good job vibes. : Please keep us posted on how you're doing, OK?

[rabbithorns]

I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles. We had that problem fairly frequently as dh got a job and lost it soon after. He had a great job before we moved to Arizona and then never was able to get a break, just a lot of temp to hires that never ever hired anyone, including him.

Just make sure you guys don't let the stress make a problem in your relationship. It's hard to provide for a family, but you guys can do it. Love doesn't cost a dime!

You're doing great. And it will all work out.

[ArtsyMomma]

I'm so sorry Amanda. What helps when I am feeling anxious...I give myself an hour off from the anxiety. I decide that for the next 'x' amount of time I'm not going to worry. I take a good book into the tub and take a hot bath with lavender and epsom salts. I use the time to clear my head and regroup.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by ArtsyMomma

I take a good book into the tub and take a hot bath with lavender and epsom salts. I use the time to clear my head and regroup.

I do that, too, but I bring wine with me.

Playing board games as a family also tends to lift me up.

[Poddi]

I like to look around at all the things we do have and feel better about it. Sure we all want to get ahead financially but after all we don't have to be rich to be happy. Even when we can barely pay bills we're still richer than a lot of people in the world.

[shelleyd]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I know how you feel. My dh got laid off in September and he just found out today that he got a job starting Monday. So what's helped us for the last three months-

1) I try to enjoy the time together as a family. Dh only got to take 1day off when dd1 was born and we both really hated taht. So with dd2, he's been home for the first 8wks of her life. We're lucky to have our family and it's been nice to spend so much time together.

2) Seeing others in the same situation makes me realize that we're not alone and we didn't do something horribly wrong to be in the place we're in. We've made some mistakes and are learning from them, but it's still nice to feel like it's not just us, you know?

3) I like to take a bath too or take the dog for a walk weather permitting. Basically, I like to get a few minutes to myself to relax

Good luck. Everything will be okay.

[Crunchy*VT*Mom]

[nadia105]

I'm so sorry about your DH's job! I don't think you ever really expect it to happen, even if there are little signs. From reading your posts on this forum, it seems like your family is really well prepared to deal with this situation, WAY better than most.

I hope your DH finds another job soon!

[onthemove]

Originally Posted by ArtsyMomma

I'm so sorry Amanda. What helps when I am feeling anxious...I give myself an hour off from the anxiety. I decide that for the next 'x' amount of time I'm not going to worry. I take a good book into the tub and take a hot bath with lavender and epsom salts. I use the time to clear my head and regroup.

this is nice, but for me getting outdoors for a walk or just to sit and look at mountains or moving water, something majestic that minimizes the reason for my anxiety.

[Tangled Hill]

Staying home helps me. Strange, I know, but not being out and about in our consumer culture, not spending money, and just focusing on my home and my family is the best therapy when I'm worried about the economy (and our place in it).

I've been staying home a lot recently. :

[Zannah]

Originally Posted by Tangled Hill

Staying home helps me. Strange, I know, but not being out and about in our consumer culture, not spending money, and just focusing on my home and my family is the best therapy when I'm worried about the economy (and our place in it).

I've been staying home a lot recently. :

This is basically me. I stay home a lot too.


And I'm so sorry Amanda.

[Ruthiegirl]

Originally Posted by Tangled Hill

Staying home helps me. Strange, I know, but not being out and about in our consumer culture, not spending money, and just focusing on my home and my family is the best therapy when I'm worried about the economy (and our place in it).

I've been staying home a lot recently. :

Yes, me too. A quiet day at home with my kids, my lovely baby in his cloth diaper, simmering soup, an afternoon in the garden, clothes on the line, clean floors, knitting, sewing a simple skirt for my daughter, talking with my husband, a walk in my neighborhood...I have been keeping closer and closer to home lately.

amyamanda -- I am so sorry to hear about your news. I often look for your name when reading a thread; your insight is very keen and practical. I know you will apply the same strength and intelligence to your current situation. Just know that there are those of us rooting for you.

[amyamanda]

Thanks all for your wonderful ideas and supportive responses. I appreciate it very much.

[maciascl]

Probably not the best suggestion, but I drink. I don't get drunk & I only do it maybe 1 or 2 times a week. I just have a little to take the edge off. It seems to be all that helps when I am in full blown panic.

Sorry your DH got laid off. I hope he finds something soon.

[mommyto4grits]

This is what I tell myself too. There are so many people, children without even clean water or shelter in the world, that even in the toughest economic times, we still have it pretty good.

Originally Posted by Poddi

I like to look around at all the things we do have and feel better about it. Sure we all want to get ahead financially but after all we don't have to be rich to be happy. Even when we can barely pay bills we're still richer than a lot of people in the world.