PhD-ing Mamas! Acheiving and Believing in 2009!

[nnaemeka]

well 2009 is here! time to build on what worked last year and let go of what didn't work or didn't happen!

how's your break going Mamas? getting any work done, organizing for Spring 2009 semester, building new strategies for time management or chilling the hell out? what are your goals and intentions for this new year?

i'm back to school/teaching this semester after being "off" for six months with baby. wow, i'm freaking out! nonetheless, my 2009 professional intention is to set realistic goals and celebrate the baby steps in the right direction. i'm still working on the details of what i want to achieve as far as the dissertation but if i can write two solid chapters by October, i'd be thrilled.

[FtMPapa]

I'm still on break for another 3 or so weeks, but I'm "working" on some stuff over the break, of course.

My goals for 2009 - defend one comps paper. No more incompletes.

My intentions - not to get any further behind on paperwork than I am, and to catch up some back paperwork (i.e. filing two years worth of taxes in two countries.) and get pregnant and have the baby.

Should we start a "Who we are" post? I'm not sure I know everyone who will be on this thread - I'm TTC, 2nd year sociology PhD in MA.

Any other sociology folks here? Anyone else doing work on parenting?

[Carita]

I'll re-introduce:
I'm am ABD at a R1 the southeast in mathematical biology. I took my orals just after DS was born in Sept 07.

Pregnancy and BFing hormones took my ADHD for a ride and I was diagnosed just this Fall with ADHD. So I had very unproductive work in the last 2 years. But I am doing much better now - my advisor gave me another chance with an RA this semester, and so far so good.

My school goals: To present at a local conference in March, to present at a National conference in July, from here get an idea about entering work force directly or onto post-doc (I'd honestly like a post-doc to practice my research skills and have another LO), then graduate in May 2010!

DS had 2 weeks off DC, so we were home Christmas and New Year's. We spent Christmas week sick. We go in after break to find that DS has an EI. To top it off, we are now all sick with the stomach flu. Let's hope the rest of the semester is healthy!! We need some heathly +++ vibes over here!!

GL to everyone this semester!

[EVC]

To reintroduce myself: I'm fourth year in Slavic Linguistics.


We start back on the 20th. I DON"T WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!! Well, I kinda do, but I just feel like I need another week or so of break. I got really sick on the last day of fall semester and was effectively out of commision for about a week and a half, so I feel like I was cheated out of half of my break :

And this semester will just kill me. I have taken on far too many responsibilities, it's not even funny. Every semester I promise myself that I will REDUCE my load the following semester and I was DETERMINED to follow through on that this time, but....It didn't work out. I got roped into doing a Readership for a class of 45 students (who write two papers, several quizzes, a midterm and a final--guess who will be grading all of those!)--this is in addition to starting German (for the reading exam that apparently no one ever passes on the first try anyway), taking two seminars, teaching a 5 credit lanaguage course five days a week to about 15 stuudents, finishing the book I'm writing with dh, and, oh yeah, taking care of a three year old. Oy. And I'm supposed to be revising a paper I wrote last semester for publication. It just never ends.

More break! More break!


....

[nnaemeka]

Originally Posted by EVC

To reintroduce myself: I'm fourth year in Slavic Linguistics.


We start back on the 20th. I DON"T WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!! Well, I kinda do, but I just feel like I need another week or so of break. I got really sick on the last day of fall semester and was effectively out of commision for about a week and a half, so I feel like I was cheated out of half of my break :

And this semester will just kill me. I have taken on far too many responsibilities, it's not even funny. Every semester I promise myself that I will REDUCE my load the following semester and I was DETERMINED to follow through on that this time, but....It didn't work out. I got roped into doing a Readership for a class of 45 students (who write two papers, several quizzes, a midterm and a final--guess who will be grading all of those!)--this is in addition to starting German (for the reading exam that apparently no one ever passes on the first try anyway), taking two seminars, teaching a 5 credit lanaguage course five days a week to about 15 stuudents, finishing the book I'm writing with dh, and, oh yeah, taking care of a three year old. Oy. And I'm supposed to be revising a paper I wrote last semester for publication. It just never ends.

More break! More break!


....

wow, EVC you are making moves! all the best with everything!

FtMPapa---i didn't realize your work is on parenting, very interesting. now i see why you had such good reading recommendations for us. feel free to keep us informed!

Carita, hmmmm are we at the same U??? i'm sorry your crew has been battling the bugs. we were sick for xmas/new years too. my DD survived her first cold. it broke my heart to see her nose all boogered-up.

I'm a 5th year/ABD in English Literature & Black Studies. this is my last funded year. i applied for one fellowship and didn't get it. and i don't feel ready to send out any more applications. oh well, i'm sure to get some teaching gigs in my dept for 09-10. but my DH is really ready to get of our small U city. i'm about ready too BUT so many buts!

so i tried to link last years thread to no success. whatever the case, i welcome you grad-mamas-lurkers to join us.

[readytobedone]

deleted

[Carita]

EVC - don't overdo it - I got good advice i wasn't ready to hear - "XYZ doesn't write your dissertation and that's how you get outta here." I think I am ready to take that advice now.

nn - how old is your LO? I have one more year paid. But I had this very odd conversation today with another grad student who heard from another prof that I was graduating this year. hmmm? Um, I am? Cause if so, I'd better get my &$$ in gear - LOL.

angela - sorry you were sick too. I still don't feel great. ugh. What are you using for BC? I have a very similar goal... I want to have another, but I need to wait until I make enough progress that I KNOW I am going to graduate. I can't afford to take another 2 year brain sabbatical. Fortunately my hormones have not been begging me to TTC - my brain is still in control - LOL.

[moocowma]

hang in there

Good luck to all as the semester gets under way. It'll be worth it in the end, right? Right?

[FtMPapa]

Anybody have any advice for me?

I'm having a tough time motivating myself. We're still on winter break, and I had this crazy idea that I had a whole six weeks off to work, but really I've got less than two left, and I've done very, very little.

And there's no hope of dilaing it up for the next two weeks - I'm going away for almost a week to see friends and family.

What thoughts get you to pick up the books in the morning?

I've been lazing around watching bootlegged TV online, snuggling with my dog and staying inside, away from the winter. I often spend a lot of "work" time reading my favourite blgos and checking e-mail, browsing journals online, looking for postings for online teaching gigs I'd like to pick up, sort of work-related tasks, but not actually work. After two hours of that, I think "Oh, time for a break," but I haven't actually done anything.

When I work at home, I surf the web. At the office, I often end up talking to my office mate. Important, stimulating, brainy conversations about our teaching, our research, politics within the department, whatever, but not actually getting anything on paper.

The one trick I have found is *somewhat* successful for me is to not check my e-mail, not even turn on the computer, just get up and start reading in the morning.

The problem with this strategy is that I pretty quickly end up with an overwhelming number of e-mails in my box, and people start getting anxious because OMG, they e-mailed me three hours ago and I haven't gotten back to them.

[Carita]

I say deem whether or not the e-mail are actually of utmost importance or not. I agree with not checking e-mail - it is the biggest time suck. Don't stop at here either! LOL If I could put chatboard hours into research.

Can I tell you the biggest thing that has helped? Write everything you need to do in a quasi-detailed list. Get some shiny star stickers. Start working. Get a timer - put it on for 20 min, then 5 min break for web surfing (or whatever ration works best for you) and everytime you earn 5 stars from completing stuff on your list you get to watch a TV show or something. I love earning stars - LOL - dang ADHD makes us do weird things!

[nnaemeka]

Originally Posted by readytobedone

hey, z.! thanks for starting this thread. carita and z., yes, we were also sick for x-mas. we took a nasty stomach virus down to new orleans--it was my first time in NOLA (DH has some family there), and i have to say, i didn't enjoy myself with all the throwing up, and with stella throwing up, too!

so my goals for 2009 are: 1) let go of the fact i didn't get JACK done on my diss last semester because i really didn't expect to with the teaching load, etc. i had going on,

2) reconnect with committee and get on good terms,

& most importantly 3) get 2 solid chapters finished by the end of the summer

(one of which has to be done by end of april, when my diss talk is).

all of this will be easier if i 4) avoid getting pregnant until AT LEAST the 2 chapters are done!!!!!

(i have had two very much unwanted but still kinda bummer chemical pg's since july.)

z., what are you doing for childcare now that you're back to teaching? did you find daycare for your LO?

hey angela!

funny to talk from here but whatever!

your goals sound very doable. nothing like the diss presentation to kick us in gear. mine isn't scheduled yet so i'm off the radar right now, sort of.

i'm scared that you say working on the diss was impossible with two classes and baby, YIKES! i've GOT to get something done this spring. even if its a page a week or something. i've got to make this happen and GET a REAL JOB!!!


i'm so sick of my childcare woes, its just become THE obstacle. we did find a great dcp (a wonderful mama/grandmama who does in her home care for 4 babies off Barracks Rd) but she's pricey for us. so right now we are planning on sending LO to her for two half days so i can have a few hours to write and DH will be the parent in charge on the days i teach. we'll see how it goes...i've just been stressing already...i just wish we could afford the best care on a solid schedule so i could do my work with piece of mind.

anyway, how did you ladies manage the pumping? i've been really inconsistent and so are my breasts, so now i have no stash and i'm back to work in two days!!! any tips? i'm sipping on mother's milk as i type.

i've just beginning to think about another baby, a tiny inkling in the mind. crazy on some level but my period is back and so its like wow its possible, DD is only 5.5 months! of course my mom is like "don't get pregnant right now, be careful!!!" we're so not ready...but i'm not doing any official BC, i hate any hormonal BC and i'm nervous about IUD even though my sis and BF suggest it.

i'm sorry about the chemical pregnancies. i never knew the official terminology for that, so i googled it.

FtmPapa: sometimes you gotta just veg and not beat yourself up about it! we have breaks for a reason, so enjoy it cause its almost over. now when school starts, set a realistic schedule and get back to work.

but here's what i'm doing to time manage a bit: i am thinking about that program/site that blocks your favorite internet sites for a given time period...does anyone know which one i mean? also it might be time to acculturate friends, students, etc to fact that you can't always answer immediately. i've even stated in my syllabus that i may take 48 hours to respond to emails as it got CRAZY last semester and i was overwhelmed with virtual communication. and so one thing i don't do at all is IM!

[To-Fu]

Hi! Can I join you guys?

I'm in my early 30s, ABD in Comp Lit, and technically in my fifth year. I (maybe foolishly?) moved away from my institution and am not currently teaching, just taking care of my one-year-old son. I have not yet really written part of my dissertation yet and have been taking some time off to do the kid thing.

But now it's time to get back to work! I have no idea how I will manage it. I can't work with the baby around and we have no childcare. I also don't know if I can write in a vacuum while I am not part of some kind of intellectual community. So maybe I should look for a class to teach and start checking out Craigslist for childcare? I'm just afraid that what I'll find won't be AP at all and/or will be totally unaffordable.

I'm also no longer connected to a big library, which *hopefully* won't be a problem if I can get what I need online. I don't even know if I'm still registered at my school so I can use the library's online article-finding services, etc. Eep!

Has anyone else attempted to write while away from their institution? Am I crazy? I'm not even positive I want to finish, but I feel like I'll regret it if I don't, so here I am, staring down the long barrel of a dissertation I don't have any interest in writing.

[slsurface]

This is very timely for me right now. My deadline for the defense is the first week of May. This means that I have to have my dissertation done in about two months, so the committee can review it and I can make any changes, before submitting the necessary paperwork with the Dean's office and Graduate school. I'm working part time Thursday and Friday in January, then my time will be completely devoted to my dissertation. Right now I am writing/finish up last minute analysis on Monday through Wednesday. I work roughly 12 hour days on my disseration...it's exhausting!

I am nearly done with Chapter 7 and have two more chapters to write after that. I feel pretty good at this point, but I oscillate between doubting my work/myself and thinking I'm doing great <sigh>. The troubling thing is that I gave my committee the first six chapters of my dissertation months ago and no one has yet to return the draft with comments. I am SOO tired of trying to whip these people into doing SOMETHING for me! : I feel like it's high time that the step up and help me get this thing done...suggestions on how to make this happen, anyone?

[Dar]

I'm working on a PhD in cultural anthropology... I spent two years at a different university working on it, and then this year started somewhere new... and much better! I cannot believe how much better my current program is - grad students are well-supported (two years of fellowship, at the beginning and end, and up to 4 of TAship, all with a stipend we can actually live on), the professors actually respect each other, the professors are all truly helpful and kind, and the quality of the program is top-notch. So, that's all good... it's a lot of work (I took 15 hours last semester and am doing the same this semester) but I enjoy it.

The bad part is that my first two years didn't really "count" - I mean, I got stuff to put on my CV, and learned enough to get accepted here, but no one starts this program anywhere except in the beginning, whether you come in with a B.A. or M.A. So, it will take a bit longer, maybe... but with the economy the way it is, a lot of people I know in my field with brand new PhDs are having trouble finding jobs, so maybe it's good that I'm guaranteed support here for the coming 6 years...

Anyway, I started back yesterday and am already feeling behind, but we had a houseguest who just left today, and who unfortunately had the flu for half of the visit... anyway, I think things will settle down now and maybe I can get organized?

Dar

[Carita]

Hey - thought I would post this link to an article in the chronicle - I think it really speaks to our situation as PhD mamas... What do you think?
http://chronicle.com/daily/2009/01/9652n.htm

[EVC]

Hey - thought I would post this link to an article in the chronicle - I think it really speaks to our situation as PhD mamas... What do you think?
http://chronicle.com/daily/2009/01/9652n.htm

Wow! Thank you for posting! Joanna is actually a good friend of mine--her dd and mine go to the same daycare/pre-school (but in different classrooms). She mentioned something last week or so about an interview, but never mentioned that the article was out already!!!!!!!!!

[Carita]

small world! i like that its getting some attention. And I wonder at what that means for us... If those of us at R1 institutions have only "delusions" that small teaching universities are family friendly - will life ever get easier for us?

I can totally relate with the feeling that academia is not as family friendly as I thought it would be. I struggle to do research - and I haven't even published anything of my PhD work. And my teaching load will only be bigger with a "real job." How am I ever going to make tenure?

[nnaemeka]

Originally Posted by To-Fu

Hi! Can I join you guys?

I'm in my early 30s, ABD in Comp Lit, and technically in my fifth year. I (maybe foolishly?) moved away from my institution and am not currently teaching, just taking care of my one-year-old son. I have not yet really written part of my dissertation yet and have been taking some time off to do the kid thing.

But now it's time to get back to work! I have no idea how I will manage it. I can't work with the baby around and we have no childcare. I also don't know if I can write in a vacuum while I am not part of some kind of intellectual community. So maybe I should look for a class to teach and start checking out Craigslist for childcare? I'm just afraid that what I'll find won't be AP at all and/or will be totally unaffordable.

I'm also no longer connected to a big library, which *hopefully* won't be a problem if I can get what I need online. I don't even know if I'm still registered at my school so I can use the library's online article-finding services, etc. Eep!

Has anyone else attempted to write while away from their institution? Am I crazy? I'm not even positive I want to finish, but I feel like I'll regret it if I don't, so here I am, staring down the long barrel of a dissertation I don't have any interest in writing.

welcome To-Fu!!! well, i've been thinking about your post. my DH and i are considering leaving the small U town after this semester. while i definitely nervous about writing and finishing away from the U i think its doable. other scholars are doing it and have done it. ultimately, you have to decide if you are going to do it or not. there are always a zillion obstacles, on campus or not. if you decide, "yes, i'm doing this"--then take it one step at a time. library affiliation for research is probably a good idea. can you access your U's resources via proxy? can you afford childcare? a babysitter a couple mornings a week? this shouldn't be too expensive esp if you are home working in the next room. what's up w/ your committee? what kind support network can you set up? at least one buddy to send drafts to? or at least be accountable to?

how about attending a conference in the near future for inspiration? adjunct teaching may/may not be exciting or practical right now. start with your project---any old papers to recycle?

some friends have found the book "writing your dissertation in fifteen minutes a day" helpful. nak. i think thats the title.

you can do it mama, but only you can decide if you WANT to.

i'm sure other folks can chime in...

and you know what i'm realizing: taking a year or two off for baby isn't the end of your life as a scholar/critic. you can work it your way..

[nnaemeka]

Originally Posted by slsurface

This is very timely for me right now. My deadline for the defense is the first week of May. This means that I have to have my dissertation done in about two months, so the committee can review it and I can make any changes, before submitting the necessary paperwork with the Dean's office and Graduate school. I'm working part time Thursday and Friday in January, then my time will be completely devoted to my dissertation. Right now I am writing/finish up last minute analysis on Monday through Wednesday. I work roughly 12 hour days on my disseration...it's exhausting!

I am nearly done with Chapter 7 and have two more chapters to write after that. I feel pretty good at this point, but I oscillate between doubting my work/myself and thinking I'm doing great <sigh>. The troubling thing is that I gave my committee the first six chapters of my dissertation months ago and no one has yet to return the draft with comments. I am SOO tired of trying to whip these people into doing SOMETHING for me! : I feel like it's high time that the step up and help me get this thing done...suggestions on how to make this happen, anyone?

first of all to you! have you contacted your committee recently? no feedback at all? well, i suggest you just put yourself in somebody's face! (go to your adviser's office).

[Sweeney]

Hey all!

I'm hoping/planning to start my PhD in Social Psychology this fall. All my applications are in and now I'm anxiously waiting for news and trying not to freak out. There are times when I'm really positive about my prospects and times when I try to prepare myself for the inevitable letters of rejection. This always interacts well with me being excited with being a single mom potentially moving my kids across the country to attend school, and me thinking that it's a stupid selfish thing to do.

I've been meditating and trying to find a place of peace of acceptance that everything will be allright... but an hour later I'm back on the internet looking at my applications again.

Nice to meet ya!