|To those who waited longer between kids- I guess same questions? For comparison purposes.
I dont have a second child yet, but we are TTC and I guess the gap is going to be what is considered 'big' to most people - 4+ years.
This was planned though - for many reasons.
The first off the top of my head for not having a small age gap - and I wouldn't recommend a small age gap (that are not really 'personal' reasons - just common sense):
1). Body. Your body needs time to heal. Pregnancy and birth is a big thing for it and it needs time to recover. Generally, they say to give your body at least 14 months to recover if you had a smooth easy pregnancy and childbirth - more if otherwise.
2). Breastfeeding/breastmilk. Only something like 30% of woman are able to keep their breastmilk during pregnancy. Its personally not something worth risking with a baby so young. I personally would like to let my child self wean before I risk my milk drying up - But many people are happy with allowing their child to have at least 2 years of breastmilk before they take their chances. You might want to think about how you feel about breastfeeding - and remember, there is more to breastmilk than just nutrion... A lot of other reasons I would not want to mess with that. Not to mention, that even if you did keep your milk - its pretty painful during pregnancy with such super sensitive nipples, and whilst you might like the idea of tandem feeding and some mothers can/do do it...its not always as straight forward as you might think!
The rest of my reasons are personal and because they are personal, they are going to vary from family to family because every mother is different, and so is every child - hence difference age gaps will be 'best' for different families meaning there is no 'one' answer. But my main personal reason to have a larger age gap is because I felt that the bond/attachment/connection between my son and I needed to be stable/settled/etc before I introduced another memeber of the family. I simply could not be the mother I want to be, and feel that I should
be with a small age gap. I not only had to think of my wants, desires, capablities as a mother/woman - but as DS was also a part of our family I felt it was pretty important that I thought of him too - his wants, desires and capabilties - and for us, that meant him having a good few years with just me before introducing a sibling. Now he is old enough for this sort of change in his life and all the little differences in him now will really help when that change happens. (such as the fact that he can talk, walk, take himself to the toilet, basic understandings, understands cause and effect, emotions/feeling communication, etc)
No matter what gap you choose - what you can not gurantee either way is wether or not your children will be 'close'. Their bond has not much to do with age gap - but how the parents handle the growing sibling relationship. Of course, age gap can affect how the parents handle it all! (which is part of my personal reason for choosing the large age gap - I like my sleep and know for certain I would not be able to cope with two who woke frequently in the night! lol)