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post #61 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by caro113 View Post
Plenty of people nurse while being pregnant and there are plenty of vitamins you can take to increase milk supply while not hurting baby.
I know the OP has already made her decision, but I had to chime in here.

Yes, there are supplements you can take while pregnant that can help milk supply BUT there is still no guarantee that you won't lose your milk. Hormones are the main factor. Most women will have a significant reduction in milk supply regardless of what they do.

If not being able to breastfeed your older child would be devastating to either you or the child, getting pregnant is a poor choice. (you can certainly still dry-nurse until your milk comes back in, though. I did!)

I had my two as close together as I felt I possibly could (conceived the second when my first was 11 months old), and while I'm absolutely *delighted* with how things have turned out, any more children I have will ideally be spaced further apart. My secondborn is seriously the easiest, most mellow baby in the entire world, and the first 6 months were still pretty challenging. The two of them are fascinated with one another though
post #62 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylizah View Post
I don't think I could be the mother I want to be to two children close in age.

And as for both kids getting to be the baby, I disagree that they both get to be babies. One always has to wait while mama deals with the other one. There's only so much mama, and no matter how much you baby-wear or breastfeed, other interactions NEED to be one-on-one and some of that gets sacrificed when you have two very small children. I love that DS has gotten so much undivided attention. I hope number 2 will get a comparable amount as well.
I HAVE two girls who are 16 months apart and yes they did get to be babies together because they WERE babies together. I nursed them together, bathed them together and yes they did get one on one time with me because Dh would play with one and would play with one and switch. It depends on your parenting style. I don't quite understand what you mean by interactions NEED to be one on one, but I can't shut one kid in a closet while I play with another one. That is perfectly fine your DS has gotten so much undivided attention. I think you will see what we mean when you have another child. Both children can be demanding at the same time. For me having them 16 months apart worked great because their needs were quite similar. Both wanted to rest at the same time, both wanted to eat, and so on. It worked great. Plus I am a SAHM so I can have more attention with my girls. And yes, you have to have a certain personality I think to have two children close together in age and patience is a must.
post #63 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by mytwogirls View Post
I HAVE two girls who are 16 months apart and yes they did get to be babies together because they WERE babies together. I nursed them together, bathed them together and yes they did get one on one time with me because Dh would play with one and would play with one and switch. It depends on your parenting style. I don't quite understand what you mean by interactions NEED to be one on one, but I can't shut one kid in a closet while I play with another one. That is perfectly fine your DS has gotten so much undivided attention. I think you will see what we mean when you have another child. Both children can be demanding at the same time. For me having them 16 months apart worked great because their needs were quite similar. Both wanted to rest at the same time, both wanted to eat, and so on. It worked great. Plus I am a SAHM so I can have more attention with my girls. And yes, you have to have a certain personality I think to have two children close together in age and patience is a must.
I'm not trying to offend anyone who has chosen to have kids spaced closely. I do think that some interactions (I didn't say all, but certainly some) need to be one-on-one because kids thrive on one-on-one attention. And I think having two young, needy kids means that they get less attention than they might ideally need or want.

Personally, I would struggle with horrible guilt about "sacrificing" one kid's needs to meet the other one's needs. And that is why I don't have two kids spaced closely. To mamas who make it work, my hat is off to you.


OP, definitely go with your gut! I agree that fear is not a good reason to have another child.
post #64 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylizah View Post
I'm not trying to offend anyone who has chosen to have kids spaced closely. I do think that some interactions (I didn't say all, but certainly some) need to be one-on-one because kids thrive on one-on-one attention. And I think having two young, needy kids means that they get less attention than they might ideally need or want.

Personally, I would struggle with horrible guilt about "sacrificing" one kid's needs to meet the other one's needs. And that is why I don't have two kids spaced closely. To mamas who make it work, my hat is off to you.

OP, definitely go with your gut! I agree that fear is not a good reason to have another child.
But it very well IS possible to spend one-on-one time with closely space (or several) children. I don't think you understand this because you only have one, and when you have one, that child is your whole world and you probably wonder how on earth anyone else has time for another kid considering you give 100% to the one you have now.

Also, the part of your statement that I bolded: you should probably not plan on any more kids, regardless of how far they are spaced because you will HAVE to "sacrifice" one's need for the other's at some point. SO is life, and it's not necessarily a bad thing.

ETA: and I'm not trying to pick on you, Marylizah. I just think your opinion might offend other's who either have closely spaced children or several LO's (or both) and what is 'too small of an age gap' is always subjective anyway. I know some people think all my kids are super close together but they are all 2 yrs apart, which was perfect for us. Other's may think 3 yrs is too close, or 18 mos, or whatever they consider "babyhood" and the most challenging time (diapers, nursing, not sleeping thru the night, not talking well, etc.,)

I also did not mean to say, you should not have any more kids, that came out wrong. I just meant that no matter the gap, somone will have to wait. Maybe more so if they are younger and less independant but it really just depends on the kid.
post #65 of 106
Quote:
Also, the part of your statement that I bolded: you should probably not plan on any more kids, regardless of how far they are spaced because you will HAVE to "sacrifice" one's need for the other's at some point. SO is life, and it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Hmmm... I am going to reply to this because I think I know where she is coming from in this respect. It is one (of the personal) reason why we have decided on having a larger age gap than most - and it is something that I have spent a lot of time thinking about and feel very strongly about for my family. But I am going to add a disclaimer here because I do not want this to come out the wrong way and if you read this and are offended or think I think you are a horrible parent or something because you have a small age gap - then please do forgive me because I do not mean it that way. I do not really care if you have a 7 month age gap (the world record so far! lol) or a 17 year age gap! lol I know each family and each child are different - each to their own and all of that.

For me - and we try our best to live consensually/TCC, so its not that I am child centred because I am far from that (if you know anything about consensual/TCC philosophy you will get the general idea) - the first few years of a childs life are so important, espeically that 'one on one' time with mummy and daddy and other close family and friends. But I think there is a big difference in the 'sacrafice' you have to/might make with a baby vs. and older child. For example, you are right...someone at some point in time is just going to have to wait a second becuase there is only one of you and two or more children - thats common sense...logistics, etc. But...What is more 'damaging' (though damaging isnt really the right word it will be close enough for now! lol)...a baby crying having to wait whilst you deal with another baby? Or an older child (this will vary from child to child of course because children develop differently in this respect - some at 3 and maybe some not until 5+!) who knows a bit about patience and others needs and whom you can communicate with (and problem sovle together via the spoken communication you use in your family) waiting whilst you deal with a baby crying?

The world is a big bad tough place...thats life right? I do not feel I need to rough and tough my son up though to show him that (he will learn that in his own time and he has/is - Already he knows, though disapointed, that I can just not defy the laws of physics to make him happy though I wish I could! lol). And in the same respect, I am not sure how I would feel - or what that could do to my son having to stretch to meet the tough hard cold facts of life before he was ready when I decided to change his life by bringing another baby into it.

When DS was only 3 months old, I was broody like no tomorrow. Wanting but waiting this long has been hard - but I knew it was the best for our family despite my own desires, sometimes I have to think of others as well. If anything, being a parent has taught me how to be selfless and patience! hehe Sure, I could have gone along with my desires but I can guess how that would make me feel now (and part of that would have been the feeling that I would have cheated my son of something he had the right to) - and how that would have affected my DS. I picture everyday situations and then throw a baby of various ages into that picture to see how it will play out. When he was younger, and experiencing deep emotions he didn't know how to handle or what to do with at the age of two...I am pretty sure it would not have been nice for either of us for me to have to tell him something he could not understand (such as the general idea of waiting and patience) whilst I had to attend to 'the baby' because babies have real important immediate needs as well (like being fed! lol). Or how a baby would have felt and/or been affected by me leaving them to attend to a small child who also have real important and immediate needs. Of course, I am not saying the same logisitcs and common sense do not play the same role with a large age gap...they do but because I have waited, I know my son is not going to be 'changed/damaged' in any way (emotional, developmentally, etc) by having to 'wait a second' whilst I meet a babies important immediate needs at the time because now at his age he understands these things.... Is any of this making sense? lol (and dont tell me I only feel this way because I only have one child who is my 100%!... I could bring up the fact that I have had two miscarriages recently and thats probably not the best thing to say to someone in my state...or the fact that I childmind/nanny/babysit babies and children of all ages with my son so do have experience of having more than one child in my care, or my parenting philosophy which has a lot to say about this in practicle terms, etc etc...one child - one hundred, I would still feel this way! lol)

Of course, I also feel that parenting the way I choose also has its benefits when considering siblings of any age gap. For example, I co sleep (this is a great bonding time for all the family!) and wear baby in a sling continously for a good part of their first year (which is fantastic for breastfeeding hands free and meeting all of babies needs hands free as well which can help if you need those hands for your other child/children). If an accident would have happened, I am sure I would have coped and so would my son - but I would never choose a small age gap.

When I consider myself and my son - a larger age gap seems the natural thing to do for us - which is why we have gone that route.
post #66 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
But it very well IS possible to spend one-on-one time with closely space (or several) children. I don't think you understand this because you only have one, and when you have one, that child is your whole world and you probably wonder how on earth anyone else has time for another kid considering you give 100% to the one you have now.
I agree 100 percent here because I used to think "Wow how will I have time with TWO children?" But it IS possible and I do make it work. I have a very cooperate DH who jumps right in after a long day at work to help out around the house and fixes dinner and cleans up while bathe the girls. It is QUITE doable to have two children close together and give them PLENTY of attention, love and one on one time.
post #67 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by mytwogirls View Post
I agree 100 percent here because I used to think "Wow how will I have time with TWO children?" But it IS possible and I do make it work. I have a very cooperate DH who jumps right in after a long day at work to help out around the house and fixes dinner and cleans up while bathe the girls. It is QUITE doable to have two children close together and give them PLENTY of attention, love and one on one time.
I agree. And I did it as a completely single mom for the first five months. The *kinds* of attention a newborn and a very young toddler need are very different and can be made to be complimentary. The first week or two was rough; the rest has been a relative cakewalk ... sometimes a little maddening, but mostly a lot of fun. I didn't intend to have two so close together, but were pregnancy not so hard on me I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.
post #68 of 106
My kids are 15 months apart. Neither of them were 'planned' but I am very happy that they are so close in age.
Even though they are not the same gender, and have different interests (ds LOVES dinosaurs and dragons, dd loves princesses) they are the best of friends.
I'm happy that they are so close in age, as I never had a sibing close in age to me (my brother was almost 10 years younger than me) and I always felt really lonely growing up.

Granted, they both have their 'moments' when they are sick of each other, and usually I suggest that they play apart for a while.

It wasn't really that hard having them so close, my older child was so young when the 2nd one came along that he didn't fully understand and was not really jealous (although maybe it helps that I have really easygoing children).

HTH
post #69 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer3141 View Post
My two are 14 months apart. DD was 5 months old when I got pregnant again.

I had some guilt with DD because my milk dried up when she was about 7 months old. We had to use forumla. But as soon as we were all gathered again, she tandem nursed like a pro.

Some of my most amazing memories of the two of them have them nursing to sleep holding hands. That does mean that my boobs can now be tucked under my arms at this point but, oh well.

My kids are incredibly close. And they've always played with each others' toys.

I am so happy with things now though. Watching them fight for the other, defend the other, love, hug, and work together is the best part of my day.
All of what I quoted from your post I could have written. I didn't plan to have two girls so close in age. Sophia defied two forms of birth control with her strong will to exist.

Abigail was/is a very high needs child, so when Sophia was born, I thought she was SOOOO easy. But I suppose she only seemed easier in comparison to Abigail.

Also, Sophia is very independent. Both my girls were walking by 10 months and climbing by a year.

There have been a couple nights that my mom has taken Abigail for overnights with her and Sophia was absolutely heartbroken and was yelling out the window while crying "Abigail, Come back, I miss you, Abigail!' over and over again. They just love each other so much.
post #70 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylizah View Post
I'm not trying to offend anyone who has chosen to have kids spaced closely. I do think that some interactions (I didn't say all, but certainly some) need to be one-on-one because kids thrive on one-on-one attention. And I think having two young, needy kids means that they get less attention than they might ideally need or want.

Personally, I would struggle with horrible guilt about "sacrificing" one kid's needs to meet the other one's needs.
Okay, but...what about parents with twins/triplets/etc.? I understand what folks are saying about attention and particularly consensual living, but to suggest that it's *impossible* to fully meet the needs of two very young children is just plain wrong. Is it harder? Certainly. Are parents of multiples or those who have children close together doomed to cause their children to suffer from a certain about of emotional neglect? I don't think so.
post #71 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley View Post
have real important and immediate needs. Of course, I am not saying the same logisitcs and common sense do not play the same role with a large age gap...they do but because I have waited, I know my son is not going to be 'changed/damaged' in any way (emotional, developmentally, etc) by having to 'wait a second' whilst I meet a babies important immediate needs at the time because now at his age he understands these things....
What "damages/changes" a child is often very different from what you expect. My mother had me when DB was 19 mo; my sister is 24 months younger than me, the next another 24 month gap, and then there are twins who came 4.5 years later. Let me tell you, my second sister (who was 4.5 when the next children came along) had by FAR the hardest time adjusting to the change. My husband has a friend who was 5 when his brother was born and still remembers the hurt and rejection he felt. Granted, that guy has other issues, but waiting until the first is several years old is no recipe for instant sibling success.

My DS1 was 14 mo when DS2 was born. They're now 25 and 11 months old. Yes, it was very hard on my, but DS1 is a happy, well-adjusted toddler who loves his brother to pieces and has absolutely no memory of being an "only." I know that he needs alone time with me, and he gets it.
post #72 of 106
I think you really need more info on the close spacing issue: mother's temperament, children's temperament, help, etc.

My best friend and next door neighbour has two boys 11 months apart - she conceived right at the six week postpartum mark, and her second little guy came a bit early.

I was reading her this thread, and she literally cried. The past two years have been a nightmare for her. Many, many nights I took the older or younger little one to give her a break.

They are both high needs, her milk dried up, her older lo wouldn't go back to the breast, and she definitely, definitely feels her older son was shortchanged.

Many times they would both be crying inconsolably, and I would get a middle of the night phone call to come and save her. Her dp is a good guy, but he was deployed overseas at the time.

I'm really glad to hear all the positive stories of babes close together, but there are other, much more difficult experiences too.

(I actually have her older lo here tonight. Her younger lo is teething, and she can't seem to catch a break either way!)
post #73 of 106
About the milk thing: you may have no control over it at all. I nursed DD through my entire pregnancy. It hurt like (insert expletive of your choice here) but it was very important to DD. I had NO idea that I wasn't producing milk until her 6 month checkup when she actually weighed a little less than she did at 4 months.

We felt like idiots when the pediatrician asked if I was sure I was producing milk and I tried expressing and found nothing there. Doh!

I consulted a very knowledgable herbalist and some of the stuff we considered can also be used as an abortifact. So those were out. And then I just decided that I wans't willing to experiment with anything new in my body when my son was in there.

So I dry nursed DD though my pregnancy and bottle fed her too.

Our first year together was nice. It passed in a blur but it was nice. Our second year was harder but that was because DS was having a really hard time with life. It's getting easier with every year they grow older too.
post #74 of 106
I also had two close together, my #3 and #4 are 14 months apart, and it was awesome (even taking into account that I had two older children, aged five and three) As babies they were like twins, always with each other, nursing together, sharing everything. As a ten and almost nine year old, it is like an ongoing sleepover....they're best friends. They get along with just about everybody else, but they save everything for each other. They have their arguments as well, don't get me wrong, but they are like the arguments an old married couple have.

My boys are further apart, two years and three years, and while they play together, they don't often choose too, and the developmental stages are so far apart that it's not as easy. JME, of course.
post #75 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astraia View Post
If I knew in my heart of hearts that this was the right thing to do, given where we are now, and felt strongly enough about getting the baby years over quickly and having them play together well, etc, then I would do it in a second. But my gut feeling says "no," and if I were to look back and say, "I did this because I was scared to go to school?!?!" I just wonder what regrets I might come up with instead.
I think your gut is all you can really trust with this kind of decision. Other people's experiences, while interesting, aren't really going to be any kind of predictor...too many variables.

For example, I am struggling with two that are three years apart. I feel like I am totally cheating my daughter most days because I cannot give her the attention she needs even though many people would assume by her age she would be more independent. Yet, other mothers here seem to have no problem managing kids much closer together. Different mamas, different kids.
post #76 of 106
This thread is all very interesting and hits close to home...I found out I was pregnant recently and am already more than halfway through the pregnancy. I became pregnant when my daughter was 13 months, and she will be 22 months when the next one gets here. I honestly would've spaced mine apart further, even though 22 months isn't even too close, compared to some others. But it was all a complete surprise. I was nursing a lot still and not even having regular cycles when I became pregnant. I am not ready to stop nursing my daughter or stop co-sleeping, so I'm still doing both and plan to even when new baby boy shows up, as long as I can and as long as daughter wants to. I too have had fears about her having to sacrifice because of the new baby and I've cried over this, but with the next coming, the only thing I can do is deal with it. There's nothing else to do but....just make it work.
post #77 of 106
Quote:
When he was younger, and experiencing deep emotions he didn't know how to handle or what to do with at the age of two...I am pretty sure it would not have been nice for either of us for me to have to tell him something he could not understand (such as the general idea of waiting and patience) whilst I had to attend to 'the baby' because babies have real important immediate needs as well
I agree with this. There is a world of difference between 1) a 2year old w/ no concept of time, who just feels 'Mama is holding this other guy when I need her2) a 4 or 5 year old who can happily look forward to "their" time later when the baby is settled.

It's amazing to see how much my older one understands about babies, their needs - he's the one urgently saying, "mama, mama, he needs you!" if I take like an extra 10 seconds putting down whatever I'm doing when the baby cries.

My children are 5 years apart. I really love it. I wouldn't have traded the intensity of the first few years with my first for anything. And now I get to really give my new baby the best of myself. I see all those mamas with a 2 year old and a newborn and I tell ya , it looks like they are just not enjoying it that much. it's hard to be that tired and pulled on.
Maybe some of you who are posting here are pulling it off with much more grace and happiness, sounds like it from your posts.

But 2 kids that close in age is quite a piece of work and takes a special type of mother, who is naturally very grounded/emotionally healthy and has lots of family support around her.
post #78 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

Also, the part of your statement that I bolded: you should probably not plan on any more kids, regardless of how far they are spaced because you will HAVE to "sacrifice" one's need for the other's at some point. SO is life, and it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Ummm.... ouch. Thanks for the clarification, I guess . I agree that kids always have to do a little sacrificing when there is a sibling in the picture. To me there's a big difference between asking a 3-4 year old to be patient while mama helps the baby, and asking a 15 month old to do the same thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley View Post
But I think there is a big difference in the 'sacrafice' you have to/might make with a baby vs. and older child. For example, you are right...someone at some point in time is just going to have to wait a second becuase there is only one of you and two or more children - thats common sense...logistics, etc. But...What is more 'damaging' (though damaging isnt really the right word it will be close enough for now! lol)...a baby crying having to wait whilst you deal with another baby? Or an older child (this will vary from child to child of course because children develop differently in this respect - some at 3 and maybe some not until 5+!) who knows a bit about patience and others needs and whom you can communicate with (and problem sovle together via the spoken communication you use in your family) waiting whilst you deal with a baby crying?

.....
When I consider myself and my son - a larger age gap seems the natural thing to do for us - which is why we have gone that route.
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
I agree. And I did it as a completely single mom for the first five months. The *kinds* of attention a newborn and a very young toddler need are very different and can be made to be complimentary. The first week or two was rough; the rest has been a relative cakewalk ... sometimes a little maddening, but mostly a lot of fun. I didn't intend to have two so close together, but were pregnancy not so hard on me I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.
Maybe newborn + toddler is easy, but the mamas I know who have two closely spaced seem to struggle more as the kids get older. Two young toddlers seems particularly difficult.

Quote:
Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
Okay, but...what about parents with twins/triplets/etc.? I understand what folks are saying about attention and particularly consensual living, but to suggest that it's *impossible* to fully meet the needs of two very young children is just plain wrong. Is it harder? Certainly. Are parents of multiples or those who have children close together doomed to cause their children to suffer from a certain about of emotional neglect? I don't think so.
To me that's a totally separate issue. Twins/triplets aren't usually planned, they're a blessing, of course, but not something you have much control over. Of course you make things work, and there's love and all that. But life has got to be harder than with a singleton, I don't think any twin/trip mom would disagree.

And we're talking here about mamas who CHOOSE to space their kids closely, not those who don't, or those who are blessed with more than one at a time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nursemummy View Post

My best friend and next door neighbour has two boys 11 months apart - she conceived right at the six week postpartum mark, and her second little guy came a bit early.

I was reading her this thread, and she literally cried. The past two years have been a nightmare for her. Many, many nights I took the older or younger little one to give her a break.

They are both high needs, her milk dried up, her older lo wouldn't go back to the breast, and she definitely, definitely feels her older son was shortchanged.

Many times they would both be crying inconsolably, and I would get a middle of the night phone call to come and save her. Her dp is a good guy, but he was deployed overseas at the time.

I'm really glad to hear all the positive stories of babes close together, but there are other, much more difficult experiences too.

(I actually have her older lo here tonight. Her younger lo is teething, and she can't seem to catch a break either way!)
Yes, this is the kind of situation I hear about most. I have several friends who have closely spaced children and their lives seem much, much harder and more of a struggle. I'm glad to see so many positive stories here, too, but they don't reflect my friends' experiences very much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by riverscout View Post
I think your gut is all you can really trust with this kind of decision. Other people's experiences, while interesting, aren't really going to be any kind of predictor...too many variables.

For example, I am struggling with two that are three years apart. I feel like I am totally cheating my daughter most days because I cannot give her the attention she needs even though many people would assume by her age she would be more independent. Yet, other mothers here seem to have no problem managing kids much closer together. Different mamas, different kids.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by traceface View Post
I agree with this. There is a world of difference between 1) a 2year old w/ no concept of time, who just feels 'Mama is holding this other guy when I need her2) a 4 or 5 year old who can happily look forward to "their" time later when the baby is settled.

It's amazing to see how much my older one understands about babies, their needs - he's the one urgently saying, "mama, mama, he needs you!" if I take like an extra 10 seconds putting down whatever I'm doing when the baby cries.

My children are 5 years apart. I really love it. I wouldn't have traded the intensity of the first few years with my first for anything. And now I get to really give my new baby the best of myself. I see all those mamas with a 2 year old and a newborn and I tell ya , it looks like they are just not enjoying it that much. it's hard to be that tired and pulled on.
Maybe some of you who are posting here are pulling it off with much more grace and happiness, sounds like it from your posts.

But 2 kids that close in age is quite a piece of work and takes a special type of mother, who is naturally very grounded/emotionally healthy and has lots of family support around her.
:

Once again, I wasn't trying to offend anyone. Just explaining my reasons for having a larger gap. Everyone does what works best for them and their families.
post #79 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylizah View Post
Ummm.... ouch. Thanks for the clarification, I guess . I agree that kids always have to do a little sacrificing when there is a sibling in the picture. To me there's a big difference between asking a 3-4 year old to be patient while mama helps the baby, and asking a 15 month old to do the same thing.



.
oh, sheesh! did you read my entire post? because I ETA that I didn't mean to say you shouldn't have kids, just that if you wanted to wait until your first baby didn't have to 'sacrifice' any of their needs or wants, that you might as well wait forever because regardless of age, it will be a reality. There's also a big difference between a 15 month old and a 24 month old in terms of patience, needs, understanding, communication, etc.,

Traceface, I think what you said re: 'it takes a special kind of mother' must be true. Of course it's hard sometimes having more than one young child but parenting is hard in general. Obviously it's not awful for everyone or there wouldn't be all these families (mine included) that purposely have children closer than 3-4+ yrs apart.

Anyway, i only responded again because it sounded like people thought it wasn't possible to have one-on-one time w/multiple small children and that only siblings close together make sacrifices. That just isn't true. And, I'm pretty sure I recommended (in my first post on this thread)that the OP wait a while because of their nursing relationship.
post #80 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by traceface View Post
My children are 5 years apart. I really love it. I wouldn't have traded the intensity of the first few years with my first for anything. And now I get to really give my new baby the best of myself. I see all those mamas with a 2 year old and a newborn and I tell ya , it looks like they are just not enjoying it that much. it's hard to be that tired and pulled on.
Maybe some of you who are posting here are pulling it off with much more grace and happiness, sounds like it from your posts.

But 2 kids that close in age is quite a piece of work and takes a special type of mother, who is naturally very grounded/emotionally healthy and has lots of family support around her.
I can honestly say it IS easy for ME. I am not speaking for all mothers, but I think it is FUN, enjoyable and works for me having my children 16 months apart. Why? I guess it might be my personality and I am grounded, have patience and LOVE little ones. I don't really know what you mean by "piece of work" but it has its own set of challenges. Quite honestly I would not want to have my children four or five years apart. I like them close together because they are interested in same activities, play together, grow up together and they can even share clothes. I LOVE it. It is personal preference (sometimes a new baby is a surprise!) but it does not mean they don't have the opportunity to be given any less attention, love, support, one on one time and such if we would have had them five years apart. For ME right now, they are almost 2 and 3 and very fun ages. Maybe I just enjoy my children too much?
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