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i am so furious with my doctor!

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
we are done with our doc. we don't see eye to eye and we have been thinking about finding a new doc for a while, but this is the final straw! -
my mom had to take A in to our family doc today because he has been up at night and i wanted to make sure he didn't have an ear infection. my mom took him in for me because i was busy breastfeeding N at that time.
what i was afraid of happening, happened. the doc gave my mom (who struggles with anxiety to begin with, and the doc knows this...) an earful about us not vaxing. he told her that A has a weakened immune system because we don't vax. (really? the child is rarely sick. the only time we see this doc is if my kids are sick. the last time he saw A? last march!!) he told her that not vaxing is child abuse and that she should call child protective services. he told her that she, being the next in authority, should put her foot down and make sure we vax. right, buddy. he said a bunch of other garbage, too - mostly myths that made me roll my eyes.
i feel really bad for my mom. she doesn't 100% agree with us not vaxing, but she respects our decision because she knows me and she does know that i've done my research. i feel bad that this happened while she brought A in - while she was helping me out! i am furious with the doctor and will be writing a letter. we will not be bringing our kids there anymore. we do have a ped, too, but don't get to see her as often and we're supposed to see the family doc for general concerns. but i'm going to ask her to take my kids on fully.
do i have any legal recourse for him stepping out of line like that? what do you think i should do?
post #2 of 19
I am sorry your mom had to go through that. At our two month WBV I got a big lecture about how my baby would die of HIB. We haven't been back... and up until that point I really liked my family doc.

I am not sure if there is really anything you can do at this point. Doctors are so overworked in Canada they probably won't care (or notice) if you quit going.

i am just thankful that he didn't vax without your permission. That is what I thought had happened when i opened your thread and my blood was starting to boil.

I hope your little guy feels better.
post #3 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by just_lily View Post

i am just thankful that he didn't vax without your permission. That is what I thought had happened when i opened your thread and my blood was starting to boil.
My eyes were getting big too, I was afraid I would read that he had convinced your Mom to have him vaccinated. eek.

Anyway, I'm sorry your dr is not working out for you, but I don't think you have any legal recourse, since he didn't actually do anything except talk.
post #4 of 19
Ugh, scare tactics! That's such an underhanded move.

BTW, mention to your mom that if it were actually child abuse THE DOCTOR would be within his rights to call. Medical personnel have a responsibility to report cases of abuse. That alone is enough to make me roll my eyes at him.

I hope you can find someone more understanding soon!
post #5 of 19
Thank God he didn't talk her into vaxing.

Time for a new doc.
post #6 of 19
I would write a letter to the medical board he operates under signed by you and your mother. What he did was highly unethical.
post #7 of 19
I'm in the US, but as far as I'm concerned, what he did should be illegal, and he should have his petty, backstabbing, manipulative hiney thrown in jail for not only scaring the crap out of your poor mother, but lying through his teeth...and trying to tear your family apart in the process.



I can't stand this garbage. I'm so incredibly glad he didn't vax your child...but there are so. many. situations where doctors put this pressure on relatives and the children are vaxed...it could just have easily gone the other way...

Oh, I'd be writing a letter. A letter they would never forget.
post #8 of 19
Was it even ethical for the doc to talk to your mom about vaxing at all? She brought child in for an ear infection - that's all! I would think there is some kind of privacy issue that was violated and I would report him and his behaviour.
post #9 of 19
unfortunately, i don't believe there is anything you can do, legally. i live in Ontario and there is a local doctor who will kick an entire family out of his practice for not vaxing exactly on schedule. even if you want to delay, he will boot you out. nice, eh!
post #10 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joyful Mama View Post
do i have any legal recourse for him stepping out of line like that? what do you think i should do?

Maybe not legal in a sense but I would still be contacting the college of physicians and reporting him for harrassment. Seriously, that IS what he did. Not to even mentioned that he is responsible to give INFORMED consent which legally means he MUST present BOTH sides of the situation. He obviously didn't do that.
post #11 of 19
Ugh, this just makes me sick! I thought your story was going to end with a forced vax though! Thank goodness your mom didn't.

I'm in the US, but I would write a letter to the board that licenses the dr. (here it would be the state medical board) and cc him. I wouldn't even write a letter directly to him.
post #12 of 19
You mean it wasn't the last straw in March when he told your mom to call CPS on you?
post #13 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanJosemama View Post
You mean it wasn't the last straw in March when he told your mom to call CPS on you?

WHAT?! Something similar happened before? GET A NEW DOC!!
post #14 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanJosemama View Post
You mean it wasn't the last straw in March when he told your mom to call CPS on you?
Yeah, but the OP is in Canada and that is kind of an idle threat here. There is no way that the Children's Aid Society would intervene here in Canada simply because of non-vax status. In Canada we are protected from forced vax because the Charter Of Rights And Freedoms clearly states we have the right to refuse medical care including vax.

I know in the US that CPS has intervened in such cases as your Rights and Freedoms are a bit different or do not have specifics mentioned. In Canada that is not the case - Thank Goodness!!

Still, I agree that it is NOT cool for the doc to use this as ammo. I also would be finding a new doc or at the very least tearing a strip off of him. How dare he????
post #15 of 19
It made me chuckle when I read that the Dr. said your childs immune system is weakened by not vaccinating. Doesn't he know that your childs system is stronger!! Where do these doctors get their education???

Scary.
post #16 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissabb View Post
Yeah, but the OP is in Canada and that is kind of an idle threat here. There is no way that the Children's Aid Society would intervene here in Canada simply because of non-vax status. In Canada we are protected from forced vax because the Charter Of Rights And Freedoms clearly states we have the right to refuse medical care including vax.

I know in the US that CPS has intervened in such cases as your Rights and Freedoms are a bit different or do not have specifics mentioned. In Canada that is not the case - Thank Goodness!!
Just FYI, the Canadian Charter doesn't "clearly state" this - this is an interpretation, which has not yet been fully tested in the courts. The Charter does specify that most of the rights it protects are subject to a balancing exercise, and to reasonable limits, so the question is always what those limits will be. Certainly Canada has a more liberal approach by far to vaccination than the US though.

Sorry for the slightly off-topic comment. I just see this a lot and it concerns me that the more it gets repeated, the more sure of it folks are!
post #17 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamatoPeach View Post
It made me chuckle when I read that the Dr. said your childs immune system is weakened by not vaccinating. Doesn't he know that your childs system is stronger!! Where do these doctors get their education???

Scary.
Yeah that doesn't make any sense to me either. Lots of studies have shown that your natural immunities are the strongest and longest lasting, not to mention the fact that many have theorized vaccinations WEAKEN your immune system....
post #18 of 19
Lectures from doctors suck....thankfully we can walk away and shake our heads.

weird that he would bring that up during a quick ear check.

i bought an otoscope of my own to avoid those visits.
post #19 of 19
I don't blame you for being furious. I think what burns me most about this situation is that since medical personnel are required to report abuse, he was unlawfully wielding this power and used it as a threat. I find that kind of behavior to be disgusting at best.

I hope you find a decent doctor, I know they are so overloaded up there that many do not have the time to take on new patients.

-Kolleen
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