Tips for keeping your cool

[just_lily]

Now that my sweet little newborn has grown into an opinionated six-month-old, has developed a new whine-cry that grates on my nerves, is teething (and therefore woke up 12+ times last night), and is going through a developmental burst whereby she feels the need to learn to crawl before she takes a nap, I have to admit that there are times that I am beginning to lose my patience with her.

I am hoping some more experienced mamas can share their tips about holding it together when you really just want to run away.

Aside from the old standby of counting to ten, how do you keep your cool?

[alexsam]

I just found a magic soultion for myself that may work for others... kind of silly, but...

I think "How would I want SOMEONE ELSE to treat my child right now?"

in doing that, it makes me look at what the most loving and logical response is (because anything less from people toward him gets my mommy fur up!) and I instantly start seeing a frustrated, tired and sensitive pre-schooler where before I just saw whining and naughty behavior that made me want to freak out.

In thinking how I want OTHERS to see him and treat him I instantly see what is really there, not so caught up in my own self. And then I try to go further.

This reasoning has talked me off of a few ledges lately!

[Sasharna]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I just found a magic soultion for myself that may work for others... kind of silly, but...

I think "How would I want SOMEONE ELSE to treat my child right now?"

Hey, that's awesome! I'm going to try that one.

[pauletoy]

Ok so maybe I am not a calm as the previous poster but I have a 6mo also. Over the last several days, he has taken screaming to a whole new level. (Think pick ax to the brain, no kidding). I try everything I know to comfort him, calm him down, distract him but sometimes nothing works. So that I can control myself, I put him in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes. Yes, he does cry and I am not advocating CIO, we don't do that. It gives me just enough time to regain my sanity. When I go back to him, he is always more receptive to my attempt to comfort him and I am much calmer.

The most important thing to remember is that they are this young for just a brief time. So enough, they will grow and be better able to communicate their needs. I like to repeat, "This too shall pass".

[mrspineau]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I just found a magic soultion for myself that may work for others... kind of silly, but...

I think "How would I want SOMEONE ELSE to treat my child right now?"

in doing that, it makes me look at what the most loving and logical response is (because anything less from people toward him gets my mommy fur up!) and I instantly start seeing a frustrated, tired and sensitive pre-schooler where before I just saw whining and naughty behavior that made me want to freak out.

In thinking how I want OTHERS to see him and treat him I instantly see what is really there, not so caught up in my own self. And then I try to go further.

This reasoning has talked me off of a few ledges lately!

very good one. also how would YOU treat SOMEONE ELSE'S child right now?

[JJ'sMom]

I have vague recollections of singing a lot. It really helped me calm down my breathing and DS's.

I also would take him for walks outside as a change in scenery often helped whatever was going on too.

[Limabean1975]

Originally Posted by alexsam

I just found a magic soultion for myself that may work for others... kind of silly, but...

I think "How would I want SOMEONE ELSE to treat my child right now?"

in doing that, it makes me look at what the most loving and logical response is (because anything less from people toward him gets my mommy fur up!) and I instantly start seeing a frustrated, tired and sensitive pre-schooler where before I just saw whining and naughty behavior that made me want to freak out.

In thinking how I want OTHERS to see him and treat him I instantly see what is really there, not so caught up in my own self. And then I try to go further.

This reasoning has talked me off of a few ledges lately!

That's fantastic. Thank you for sharing!!

[Limabean1975]

Originally Posted by pauletoy

Ok so maybe I am not a calm as the previous poster but I have a 6mo also. Over the last several days, he has taken screaming to a whole new level. (Think pick ax to the brain, no kidding). I try everything I know to comfort him, calm him down, distract him but sometimes nothing works. So that I can control myself, I put him in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes. Yes, he does cry and I am not advocating CIO, we don't do that. It gives me just enough time to regain my sanity. When I go back to him, he is always more receptive to my attempt to comfort him and I am much calmer.

The most important thing to remember is that they are this young for just a brief time. So enough, they will grow and be better able to communicate their needs. I like to repeat, "This too shall pass".

I think it's really important that parents allow themselves this kind of brief sanity break. A couple of minutes to catch your breath makes you a better parent.

[nolonger]

I think I did pretty well with my one year old the other day. His new favourite thing is my computer mouse. he'd been playing with it while I got us ready to go out and I was all ready to walk out the door as soon as i mapquested our directions, so I went to open a browser window and....

My perception was that the little twerp had somehow managed to remove the start menu from my toolbar and his was that he wanted to play with the mouse some more and I wouldn't let him.

So I'm sitting there frantically trying to remember how to open the program in command line...oh wair, i can't 'cause there's no terminal window open...

...and he's grabbing for the mouse and screaming at the top of his lungs trying to get muy attention because I don't seem to understand that he wants to play with it...

And the only way I held it together was to keep repeating "I am angry because my computer doesn't work. This feeling is called 'angry'. I'm holding you a bit tight because I am angry. This feeling is called angry. I am angry because my computer doesn't work. I am talking a bit loud because I am angry. This feeling is called angry."

I gave my child a word to describe a feeling that we were both experiencing. I accepted the feeling, explained that it made me act a certain way, and owned that feeling the way I would like to see my child own his feelings.

[butterfly_mommy]

Originally Posted by noordinaryspider

I think I did pretty well with my one year old the other day. His new favourite thing is my computer mouse. he'd been playing with it while I got us ready to go out and I was all ready to walk out the door as soon as i mapquested our directions, so I went to open a browser window and....

My perception was that the little twerp had somehow managed to remove the start menu from my toolbar and his was that he wanted to play with the mouse some more and I wouldn't let him.

So I'm sitting there frantically trying to remember how to open the program in command line...oh wair, i can't 'cause there's no terminal window open...

...and he's grabbing for the mouse and screaming at the top of his lungs trying to get muy attention because I don't seem to understand that he wants to play with it...

And the only way I held it together was to keep repeating "I am angry because my computer doesn't work. This feeling is called 'angry'. I'm holding you a bit tight because I am angry. This feeling is called angry. I am angry because my computer doesn't work. I am talking a bit loud because I am angry. This feeling is called angry."

I gave my child a word to describe a feeling that we were both experiencing. I accepted the feeling, explained that it made me act a certain way, and owned that feeling the way I would like to see my child own his feelings.

That is good too. I think it is really important for children to learn about emotions and feelings and socially/morally appropriate ways to express them. Thanks for sharing Mama

Also I like the "How would I want SOMEONE ELSE to treat my child right now?" and "How would I treat someone else's child right now" I have worked as a child care worker for many years and I was always so calm (well mostly ) when working with others children but with DS I get so worked up and angry and frustrated, emotions I have never had with a baby before

[EnviroBecca]

Songs to soothe the savage baby

[Limabean1975]

Originally Posted by EnviroBecca

Songs to soothe the savage baby

Those are great!

[grniys]

Originally Posted by EnviroBecca

Songs to soothe the savage baby

Those are great!