How often do you get a break?

[nichole]

How often do you get a break and how often do you need a break? I think I get one about once a month. By a break, I mean at least an hour going out on a date or with your friends while your children are with a sitter or caregiver.

I think I would be more relaxed if I had more breaks.

[~PurityLake~]

I've had a sitter twice... in nearly 3.75 years.

The first time was for our 2 year anniversary and the sitter was a very nice mom and her husband I met at a baby class who shared AP and GD ideals. They loved watching our girls. But we lost touch.

The second time was my sister in law at our 4 year wedding anniversary. She is not AP or GD, but my girls had fun playing with their cousins and no issues came up.

Both times I was on a date with my husband so I still didn't get 'me' time.

I'd love to have a break once a week, but I guess I could probably use one every day. That's just not realistic, though.

We went to the local UU church last Sunday and the girls were in the kiddo playroom the whole time. Still not 'me' time, but I was around adults for nearly 1.5 hours and that was such a refreshing break for me. (even though I'm often stressed in social situations with larger groups of strangers).

[apple_juice]

I'm getting one tonight. First time in a long time!

[~PurityLake~]

Yay for apple juice

[AlpineMama]

I have yet to have one... Last alone time was... early 2006. Sigh.

[Rockies5]

Dh and I take breaks whenever we need them. Several a day (mini, like 15mins) and several for several hours each a week.

But when I was you, I didn't have a single break for 6 years. Thats when I started cracking up (self, parenting, marriage, other relationships..you actually cannot have other relationships outside of your children when it's all about them), shook myself and asked why? No one will ever give mom a break. Plan....then do. Dh doen't take them as often as he should either.

And we don't consider then "parenting breaks" just time without our ears ringing from all the seeming needs and demands of the world.

I run daily (about an hour) dh meditates,plays video games or goes to the library...or we each zonk out on line daily too.

For those that don't take breaks..how do you know who and where you are and where you are going?

[Miasmamma]

I guess I feel lucky, I get time at least once a week if not more. My parents and in-laws love to watch DD and she generally spends every Friday night with my parents. I also tutor on Tuesdays for an hour or so, so MIL keeps her and I still have time to go grab lunch or find a quiet place to read. I have a feeling it will change when this new baby comes along. I didn't leave DD for long periods till she was past 2 years old.

[ElliesMomma]

never

[kirstenb]

Rarely, unless you count work! I don't count work as a break, though.

Due to DH's job he is gone most of the week- doesn't come back at night or anything. If he is able to come home for a night, he gets in late and falls asleep almost immediately. I don't have family nearby that can watch DS so it's just the two of us for the most part. I would do anything to be able to hang out at the bookstore for hours like I used to do pre-DS.

[mommy2abigail]

Until recently about once a month. If that. Now, after telling dh that I *really* needed more time to myself, it's once a week. I usually meet a friend at the bookstore after the kids are in bed, about 9 pm. We stay until the store closes at 11pm.

[Tellera]

I have one DS, nearly 3.

If I wanted more time away, I could get it. I'm really just too tired to leave the house. So, not often. But, I could go out during his nap or quiet time, or, barring that, anytime, really, for an hour or two. Often, DH takes DS to the grocery store on the weekend so I have some time to read, watch tv, or go on the internet. I could also go out after DS goes to bed, but, again, I'm a homebody and prefer to sit and read or watch a show. Every now and then I go out with a friend.

"Us" time is a different story. Nearly never. And that needs to change, but it likely won't in the near future. Grandparents aren't really the babysitting type, and I'm not comfortable yet with a babysitter. I always thought I would be, as I was a babysitter, but I'm just not there yet.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by AlpineMama

I have yet to have one... Last alone time was... early 2006. Sigh.

I was answering to when was my last break!

Alone time? well that must have been before May 2005 for me, and in fact was most likely before May 2004 (since I lived with my mother for that year and yeah, was never 'alone').

[MOMYS]

We just moved to a new city in a strange country, 1000 and 1000s of miles away from friends and family! It is winter and I have never driven in snow before; so I'm too scared to go out at night byself, although I'm sure my dh would have no problem with it.

So right now: Pretty much never!

[OkiMom]

The last time I went out with friends was before I had children. As soon as I had my oldest I stopped going out and now with two its just not going to happen. DH use to take DD with him to boy scout meetings once a month, however we only have one vehicle so I couldn't go do anything during that time. He just recently stopped working with the boyscouts (his work left him no time to) so thats going to end. I think when he gets back from Tailand in March Ill ask him to watch the older DD while Im at girl scouts, we will see.

[Murihiku]

Originally Posted by kirstenb

Rarely, unless you count work! I don't count work as a break, though.

I do count work as my break!

[*Erin*]

never, and it's worn me down to a nub. an impatient, grouchy nub. i really ought to TAKE some time for myself.

[riverscout]

Since my daughter was born over 3 years ago, my husband and I have gone out to dinner three times after she was already in bed. Other than that, I can think of another 2 or 3 times that I have gone out to a store after she was in bed.

I probably could have gone out more after she was in bed, but I was usually just too tired and I wanted to spend that time with my husband. I would have liked to go on a few more dates with him but we don't have a trusted sitter and only go out when my mom is in town and circumstances permit.

Since my son was born 3 months ago, I haven't gotten a break at all. I don't see that changing anytime soon. He nurses all the time and is a really quite attached to me. Maybe if he is sleeping well, we might sneak out for a quick dinner when my mom comes to visit in a few months. Or maybe a movie. I miss going to the movies. But we'll have to see.

How often do I need a break? Hourly maybe? I try no to think about how much I need a break though because it just isn't going to happen, at least not with any regularity. Too tired and not enough help. Once a week would be ideal though.

[StephandOwen]

I get a break at least once a week After getting burnt out we started a new thing here.... Saturday mornings mama sleeps in. DP gets up with ds and tries to get him out of the house (gym, store, whatever) while mama sleeps. DS is still adjusting to this and often tries (and succeeds.... sigh) to get back in my bedroom. Sundays we switch and dp sleeps in. DS is in preschool this year so I get a "break" from 11:30-2:30 every weekday Then I work from 3-6 four days a week and 9-6 one day a week. Those are sorta breaks, but with other peoples kids (I work in a daycare) and ds is still sorta in my care during that time too. At nighttime I go to the store anytime I want, though I usually do that when ds is at school so dp and I can spend time together after ds is asleep.

So I actually get many breaks, thanks to my wonderful DP and the fact ds is in school this year!

DP and I get out together, alone, maybe 5 or 6 times a year. DP's parents like watching ds so it's not too hard

[mamakah]

Once a month...if I'm lucky. It definately needs to happen more often. It feels good to go out and be me instead of "mama."

[tabrizia]

Honestly to destress I prefer staying in. That being said, I get a break, ie not having to deal with DS at least once to twice a week, normally more. DH has no problem watching him for me when I need downtime, even if it is just downtime reading up in the bedroom. He took DS out today for almost 2 hours for instance so I had a nice relaxing breaking, without worrying about having to be right there to deal with DS. That being said if I wanted to go out instead of staying at home DH would be fine with taking care of DS while I did that as well.

I was getting almost every Friday off for the past few months, since DH would take DS down to his parents before work and bring him home after they had dinner, but we decided to stop that for awhile due to various reasons. I still get breaks though as needed, so it isn't a huge deal, though I do miss my completely free day sometimes.