Grace-based parenting (Kimmels) reviews?

[LynnS6]

I'm feeling called to organize a parenting 'group' next year at our church, and am looking for materials.

I've heard good things about Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel, but haven't been able to get a copy to read. It looks like I'll actually have to buy the book, since our libraries don't have a copy.

Before I 'invest', I'd like to hear some people's reactions to it. Also, has anyone used the video series that they've made?

TIA?

Thanks

[Kidzaplenty]

:

[JoAnnaL1209]

try the gentle discipline forum. Also,he has a few video series programs that you could use through out the class.

[Kiara.I]

Hi!

Our church is actually hosting his seminar next Saturday. Called...um..."How to raise truly great kids" I think. So I immediately checked his book out of the church library (it scares me that it was still there...no one else thought to do this?) and skimmed it. I didn't have time to read it in depth, but I wanted to make sure that this was not another scary "christian" child-raising guru, you know?

Anyway, from what I did read of the book, it seems pretty okay so far. He said nothing about physical discipline, one way or the other, in the parts I read. He addressed the heart attitudes of parenting, which seem to be a good place to start.

I can report more fully - (someone remind me!) after next Saturday, when I hear what he has to say...

[LynnS6]

thanks -- I'll harass you next week if you don't post! (Politely, of course.)

[AutumnMama]

I've heard very good things about this book, I just got it but haven't read it yet. I believe it's one of the books on the 'good list' in the Gentle Discipline forum

[jennert]

i read this recently and loved it. granted, it is the only parenting book I've read all the way through, so i don't have much to compare it to. (though the fact that i read the whole book does say something positive about it!) i liked what he said about the needs kids have and how we can structure our families to meet those needs. it seemed to be more of an "idea" book than an "implementing this program will completely change the personalities of your children and make them more pliable" book--if that makes sense. i'll definitely be keeping this book to reread and probably even getting copies to give to friends. what Kimmel said really resonated with me. i think some fascinating discussions could result from using this book in a study group. i'd definitely go!

[LynnS6]

I'm posting a shameless bump in order to get more feedback.

Kiara, any feedback about the course?

[Wugmama]

Um, I read a lot about the book, and it sounded good, then was actually given to me by someone at the church we were attending. That was because I had expressed my concerns about "Christian" parenting, which in my experience is very un-Christlike. Well, I loved this book! Until I got to the part where they.............................................. ............................................

Drum roll please............................................ ...............................

Advocate spanking! What a shock! We don't go to church anymore. I don't want my kids getting the wrong ideas about God and Jesus.

Yes, this is the Tim Kimmel book. Anyone else who reads it all the way through can verify. I felt pretty betrayed. In fact, I can't believe the other poster in this thread who read the wloe book isn't mentioning that part.

~Tracy

[Wugmama]

I just checked the resource sticky at the top of the GD forum and Kimmel and his book are NOT listed there, probably because it ADVOCATES SPANKING and tells how he and his wife spank their children.

Biblical Parenting by Crystal Lutton is there, though.

~Tracy

[Kidzaplenty]

Perhaps, if it is such a wonderful book, one could grab what works for them and then discount the rest. Most books I read I have to do that anyways.

[Kidzaplenty]

Though, I admit I have not read it yet. I have been meaning to check it out, though.

[Wugmama]

Yes, that is absolutely true, one could take what they want from the book. I personally do not recommend books that promote spanking though. If someone already spanks, then a book that recommends it can reinforce that it is okay and helps the parents justify that abusive behavior. If someone doesn't already spank, they could read all the good parts of the book and say to themselves, "This guy sounds like a great dad and HE hits his children so it must be the right thing to do". Most of my friends are pretty discerning, but you never know. And I'd be leery of a church that would organize a parenting workshop using books that advocate spanking - it sends the wrong message to families.

~Tracy

[aprildawn]

Wugmama is right. He does advocate spanking. It's at the very end, and, IMO, it was unnecessary to even mention it. I was disappointed, too. I wish he'd just left it out altogether.

That said, it does address parent's hearts toward their children, and how to parent out of grace rather than being punitive.

As far as Christian parenting resources go, and without getting too off track into a theological discussion, I feel it's on the right path. The spanking part almost seemed out of place when taken with the rest of what he says. And, if I were on a church staff (have been in the past, actually) and choosing between Dobson, Ezzo, Tripp, or Kimmel I'd take Kimmel any day!!

For me, I can take the good and leave the bad. And, it's a good source for parents who might be between disciplinary worlds, yk? Kinda like how Dr Sears is the "gateway" into attachment parenting!

[jennert]

wow. i totally missed the spanking bit! yikes! i'll have to check that out. i did really enjoy the book...what i absorbed of it, apparently! this really makes me wonder about my reading comprehension lately--i guess i've been more out of it than i'd thought (26 wks pregnant, 2 year old who thinks sleep is for the weak, etc.)
sorry if i offended anyone.

[LynnS6]

I wonder if there's a new edition?

I'll hang out in Borders this weekend and see if I can't read enough to find out. Hopefully it'll have a decent index!