Standard of Parenting...Do you meet it? - Page 2

[mytwogirls]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Do you really want June Cleaver as a mother?

Hmmm.....maybe...considering the mother I grew up with Seriously though, I understand where you are coming from and you make some great points.

[Gabe'sMummy]

I am struggling with it too.

My mum left my dad and left us with him, when me and my sister were 6 and 4. She went off with another woman - soap story or what! I don't remember it though, think I blocked it out. My mum was not very maternal, she set out to homeschool me and sister but was so sick of both of us by the time September came round, she sent me to school!

So dad raised us and we saw mum every weekend. Then 3 years later dad met and married my stepmum...now she was abusive, mainly verbally. She was pretty insecure and saw me & sister as a threat to her and dad's marriage.

I found it very hard to adjust to being a step family. 1 stepbrother, 1 stepsister, 1 half brother and sister. It was hard work always trying to please everyone (which has always, always been my downfall).

Now I am a parent to 8 month old DS I am determined to do well by him, but fear I am not succeeding. I want a cross between my childhood and DP's. Dp has together parents, who were always loving, caring and made sure he was safe (whereas my dad,mum and stepmum didnt care where I was as long as I never disturbed them!), but they fed him rubbish food and let him watch telly all day too which I don't agree with, whereas my parents fed me a healthy diet and I read a lot of books but didnt get so much love and attention...

It's a tough one really - I think we often set the bar too high and that's when we tend to be down on ourselves.

I try and tell myself I will never be the perfect mum but as long as I try my best and DS turns out semi-decent....I've done OK.

xxx

[pomplemoose]

I think the important part is that you put your love for your dc's first. even in the times when i know im being unreasonable, usually due to stress, i try to keep it under control. I get really burnt out on things ( i know we've all said it) like flush the toilet, put the milk away etc. but in the end i try to realize they mean well and are just little people. I do feel soo guilty when i blow up though. Like i just destroyed everything that we had, or after hours of togetherness i need them to play in their rooms. but then again i dont really remember my parents playing with me too much and i think that i was raised pretty well.

the hardest part is giving them the freedom to try things you know will fail so that they can learn it on their own instead of just being told what to do all the time. The thing i appreciated most from my child hood was being trusted to be self sufficient, there are few times i remember not being allowed to try something.