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23 weeks, and in the hospital... Advice?

post #1 of 37
1/14/09 at 11:43pm
Thread Starter 
I was just admitted to the hospital for PTL - I have an incompetent or dynamic cervix - I currently have about 3 MM (not CM) of cervix, my cerclage (stitch) is pulling, I'm dilated past the stitch and my membranes are trying to push through... So it's not looking great. And I'm only 23 weeks, 3 days... And it's a boy. (wimpy white boys, they keep saying...) I got my first steroid shot this afternoon.

I just had a rather depressing conversation with the neonatologist regarding 23 and 24 week survival and disability rates...

I guess I'm not really sure what I'm looking for... My husband and I really want to do everything we can to have this baby, but we would hate to have him live a short time knowing only pain...

I'm just hoping and hoping that we can make it another week. and then a week more. And more...

*sigh* This sucks.

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post #2 of 37
1/15/09 at 12:14am
I hope your baby stays put for a while longer. You are in the best place right now, take good care of yourself mama Stay in that belly little one!
post #3 of 37
1/15/09 at 1:05am
You have the right idea...

One day, one week, one month...

FWIW, the neo's have to give those terrible stats. And although some babies do realize them, others do not. Your boy will be who he's going to be. You will love this baby no matter what and your baby will know only love from you. It may not be significant to some people, but it will be the difference for your son and for you.

I fervently hope for a few more weeks and then a few more for you!
post #4 of 37
1/15/09 at 1:07am
I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to say that I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope your bub stays in for a while longer.
post #5 of 37
1/15/09 at 3:02am
I hope you are able to make it a few more days or weeks. Every day counts. Do you have doctors who are on top of everything?

I was on home and then hospital bedrest with ptl for a total of 5 months. Some days were boring, but boring is good. Our son was born at 31 weeks and is healthy - now 40 weeks and about 7 pounds.
post #6 of 37
1/15/09 at 3:10am
I was admitted at 21wks with PTL during my third pregnancy. My previous pregnancy had ended at 29wks after a couple of weeks of PTL and ruptured membranes. We had some very upsetting conversations about viability and what our course of action would be. This is such an individual decision. There's no right or wrong answer. I ended up rupturing at 24wks and had my baby a few days later. I had a neonatologist who really support our decision to do everything that we could for our baby and an OB who told me as I was being wheeled into the OR that my baby would surely die. My husband and I felt very conflicted but we chose to resuscitate. There is no way of knowing how your little one will do. Not even the way they look at birth is an indication of the long term outcome. White boys statistically have a rougher stay than girls but that is certainly not always the case and definitely not something that I personally would let sway my decision about resuscitation. That's me though. I'm sure that you were also informed that inutero a baby's lungs develop faster under stress. Getting those steroid shots is also a huge help.

Ultimately you have to do what feels right for your family and your situation. Our daughter ended up spending 32wks in the NICU and had a very rough stay. But we all survived and she's turning 3yrs old shortly and is absolutely amazing.
post #7 of 37
1/15/09 at 10:06am
HUGS! We had a 28 weeker, and we were being given all sorts of grim stats and information. We were offered a termination at 21 weeks due to (what we felt were minor) birth defects. We had fetal surgery to save his life at 22 weeks, despite our OB telling us (not in these exact words, but it was the gyst) that he would likely die with or without the surgery. We also kept hearing about the wimpy white boys. But they forgot to tell our son about that and he thrived right alongside those strong little black girls.

We felt that we had to give him every chance possible. Every family and situation is different, but don't let the stats scare you from fighting for your baby.

This board is a great comfort/resource. I hope it helps you as much as it did me.

More hugs!
post #8 of 37
1/15/09 at 10:14am
((hugs))

I got so tired of hearing "whimpy white boys" (even though I saw how true it was first hand... )

Good luck!

I also got tired of hearing that everyday counts until I saw with my own eyes how true it is. Best of luck to you to keep that little man in as long as you possibly can!!!
post #9 of 37
1/16/09 at 10:38pm
I hate the "wimpy white boys" comment too! My wimpy white boy kicked a** and shocked everyone when he came home 9 days after a quad bypass when he was just a few weeks old so not all white boys are wimpy. Some are feisty!

OP, how are you doing? Has there been any change? I hope your little guy is still baking.
post #10 of 37
1/16/09 at 11:19pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks you guys.. I'm still here - I will hit 24 weeks on Sunday - Very excited for that mini-milestone. (and hopefully many more)
post #11 of 37
1/18/09 at 10:21pm
Not every white boy is whimpy. Our two white boy premies did very well. Statistics don't always translate well to individuals! Our boys were both fighters!!

Congrats on 24 weeks. Keep baking mama...
post #12 of 37
1/19/09 at 1:27pm
Congrats on 24 weeks! You're in my thoughts!
post #13 of 37
1/21/09 at 2:21pm
Congrats on 24 weeks, keep up the good work!
post #14 of 37
1/21/09 at 2:43pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks you guys. I'm still here, so that's a very good thing. We had a tour of the NICU this morning and it actually helped me a lot. Much better than I had imagined.
post #15 of 37
1/21/09 at 6:14pm
Some words of incouragement. I have an incompetent cervix and had a loss at 22wks. I had a cerclage with both of my successful pregnancies. with Landon My oldest I was hospitolized at 23wks my cervix was funnelling past the stitch and my amniotic sac was bulging past the stitch. With a ton of hospitolization and some bedrest at home I went on to carry him untill I was 37wks (just 48 hours after the cerclage was removed). I just took it day by day and hoped against hope that little boy didnt suffer the same fate as our little Aden.

I wish you the best of luck, keep that little one cooking, and try not to get discouraged.
post #16 of 37
1/24/09 at 1:05am
FWIW, I met 2 24 week boys who are kicking some major butt right now. They should be home in about six weeks.

My whimpy white guy did pretty well too! Keep on bakin' little babe!
post #17 of 37
1/26/09 at 11:23am
Thread Starter 
25 weeks
post #18 of 37
1/26/09 at 4:18pm
good going, keep him in there. I would keep those legs crossed

I am glad you got to see the nicu. FWIW, I too saw firsthand the wimpy whiteboys and I also saw some babies kick a$$. My Maggie is one of the success stories and one thing I noticed here and in the nicu, the babies who did and do the best- they have one of those determined personalities. As my DH says about Maggie- sweet as pie but subborn as a bull. I think you need that type of personality to go thru what a lot of these preemies and FT babies in the nicu/picu.
post #19 of 37
1/27/09 at 3:52am
Yeah! 25 weeks is good! Keep hanging in there...
post #20 of 37
1/27/09 at 5:20pm
yay for 25 weeks : stay inside just a little longer little one
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › NICU & Preemie Parenting › 23 weeks, and in the hospital... Advice?