It's hard being on the "Fringe"

[JoJo4780]

I have two boys, one 2 yrs and one 5 months. The 2 yr old has had 2 doses of DTaP and we didn't start until he was around 14 months old. I'm not anti vaccine first off; until two years ago I never even thought about it. Now the more I read the more I question. I've learned that it's better in most cases to keep our decision to ourselves because we always end up getting attacked. It happened to my DH today at work. I guess it's tough because in my heart I feel peace about delaying/selectively vaxing but it's still upsetting when others freak out when they find out what our views are. And we're simply QUESTIONING the status quo. We haven't decided if we want our kids to have anything other than the DTaP. We just take a day at a time. It's just funny how people want to be respected but they don't want to hear someone else's point of view when it's different from theirs. It's been pretty stressful dealing with the ped. and the nurse with her sarcastic comments and little digs. I still second guess myself, though, and feel myself getting defensive. I'm just so worried about my rights being taken away and I don't want people to think I'm a bad or irresponsible mother. I love my kids more than my own life! I just wish that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm doing what's right. At least when I come on here it's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one with these views. I like to hear about what others are going through with the whole vaccine issue.

[williamsmommy2002]

I know it is hard. I have found I got a bit more grief from nurses than the doctors. With my ped, I just basically put everything on the table and told her no. At first we put it off saying we would wait and see. It hasn't been too bad because ds1 has severe allergies and my brother had an anaphylactic reaction to the tetanus vaccine. When ds2 was born, she told me "no shots right". She is pretty pro vax too. I just put no question in my decision. I don't usually discuss it with nurses. As for doctors we don't usually see, I make it know that we don't vax for philisophical reasons and have only had one run in with a argumentative doctor. He was also attacking my nursing on demand and my no circing. Needless to say the only time we saw him again was for an emergency 2.5 years later and he still remembered me(he was a jerk then questioning why my 4.5 year old autistic son was in a diaper in the middle of a major medical event).

Anyway, my advice would be to not try to bring up many questions about vaxing with your ped unless you are looking for an argument. Most of them think it's their job to get your kid as vaxed as possible.

[peainthepod]

mama!

Questioning vaccines takes courage. You're doing what you feel is best for your family, even though it results in other people giving you grief. That's something to be proud of, IMO. It's easy to cave in and vaccinate because everyone else does. It's much harder to say, "Hey, wait a minute, this doesn't add up...I need some time to think about this."

Anyone who would think you're a "bad or irresponsible mother" simply because you're questioning vaccines has their own agenda. You have every reason and right to do what you think is best for your babies.

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by peainthepod

mama!

Questioning vaccines takes courage. You're doing what you feel is best for your family, even though it results in other people giving you grief. That's something to be proud of, IMO. It's easy to cave in and vaccinate because everyone else does. It's much harder to say, "Hey, wait a minute, this doesn't add up...I need some time to think about this."

Anyone who would think you're a "bad or irresponsible mother" simply because you're questioning vaccines has their own agenda. You have every reason and right to do what you think is best for your babies.

:

It is hard...if you get that much grief for delaying, imagine how much it would be for not doing any!! (I don't vax at all and OH BOY!!I've heard it all!)

I really don't give a rip what others think of my parenting. I KNOW Im doing what's best for my son and most people that attack me are totally ignorant on the subject (including the docs!) so their opinion means nothing to me.

[Gitti]

You are doing the right thing to postpone vaccines. For sure! The only thing is before you do the next, research more. Because you may be sorry you did any. I am just saying it because DTaP really is not necessary after the age of 6 mo.

Anyway, don't worry about what others say. Do what you feel in your gut is the right thing. These are your kids and they need you to protect them.




My two gransons are also at that age, almost 3 and almost 5 and they have not had any vaccines. So, you never know when you meet someone whether they are vaccinated or not.

[JoJo4780]

Thanks for the reassurance; I second guess myself a lot because it's such a complicated issue. It would be much easier if it were black and white. The thing that angers me the most is just the worship that doctors and nurses receive in our society; the way that medicine is practiced today is relatively new and yet the old tried and true methods are labeled "alternative"....now, I'm glad we live in a time when smallpox and diptheria are not wiping out thousands. I would certainly re-evaluate my stand on vaccines and I'm not anti vaccine. They have their place, but I think it's wrong for our government and the medical community at large to demonize parents who just want to be educated and ask questions.....I went to nursing school and I can tell you that it's not encouraged to question what you're being taught. You just do it. And there's not a whole lot of time when you're taking care of patients to be researching whether or not a recommended treatment is safe or in the best interest of the patient. You just do it. Our nurse had no idea what ingredients were in the vaccine when I was discussing it with her; and of course most medical professionals are too proud to admit that a stay at home mom knows more about vaccines. Anyway. That's my rant. I'm still on the fence about what other, if any, vaccines our kids will get. I've heard all the arguments for and against each vaccine and it's still a hard decision. IMO there are just TOO MANY that are on the list, and I'm sure it will just get longer.......in the case of chicken pox and diseases like it, let our bodies do what they're made to do!!

[Juvysen]

:

I'm with you on this. Today Ds had his 18 month "well baby" visit and had been puking the past two days, and the dr started bothering me about how we should vax him. OMG, seriously? Even if I were going to, it wouldn't be today when he's getting over a nasty stomach bug.

I feel so frustrated because up until now we felt like he didn't agree but he supported our decision

[Mom2Ian]

I have done a lot of research and have chosen not to vax at all, and you are absolutely right, it is not easy. I don't think there is any "right" or "easy" answer, we just have to weigh the pros and cons and try to do what is best for our families.

About this:

Originally Posted by JoJo4780

It's been pretty stressful dealing with the ped. and the nurse with her sarcastic comments and little digs.

I would get a new ped. if you feel it is necessary or at least inform him/her that the nurse is being inappropriate. You should not have to deal with that. We use a very mainstream doc, but both doc's in the practice are very respectful of me and my choices, know that I have the best interest of my child at heart, etc. etc. One doc has told me that he vaxed his kids but respects my opinion not to vax and has admitted that I am more informed about it than he is at this point (!). The other doc has stated to me that now that he knows more about vaccines, if he had another child he is not sure if he would have them vaxxed or not. So there are some really good supportive docs out there...I don't think I could stand to be treated that way

[knucklehead]

Thank God for my pediatrician. We don't vaccinate and he doesn't care.

[GTyler]

JoJO posted:"Our nurse had no idea what ingredients were in the vaccine when I was discussing it with her; and of course most medical professionals are too proud to admit that a stay at home mom knows more about vaccines. Anyway. That's my rant......................................"

JoJO you are correct,many parents today are more educated on the dangers of vaccines than their own Doctors,This is truly a sad state were in.
Keep educating yourself,share this with your friends/forums/relatives................it might save a child's life someday!
www.thinktwice.com
(see personal stories)
www.909shot.com
for list of ingr. you can print up for your Doctor

[rightkindofme]

I have a hard time with being on the fringe as well. My group of friends is very highly educated and there are even some immunologists running around. They think I am bat-s#!7 crazy for not vaccinating. I wish there were more scientific websites up showing the risks because they are there. There is too much circumstantial evidence used on most anti-vax sites and that makes it harder to justify my position. At this point I tell people that I don't have to justify it--she's my kid and I'm going to do what I think is best. It's really really hard though.