What's with the 6yr old girls chasing and kissing the 6yr old boys?? - Page 3

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MAN! I LOVED that game!!!!

We didn't do the kissing part. But, it was so fun.

We called it "Kiss or Kill". I have no idea why. It was more fun to be chased by the boys than to chase the boys.

We chased the boys, and when we caught them we put them in "jail". (Under the slide) and they had to escape or risk being kissed. They always escaped.

[DanishMom]

Originally Posted by db1au

I have no problem with girls/boys chasing/kissing each other as long as the kids have no problem. Now if one or the other doesn't like it then there's a problem.

YES!! I can't see there is a problem unless one of the kids doesn't like it.

Wow - I'm just blown away. In Denmark all kids hug (many of them hug their friends daily) and sometimes they kiss too. Boys hug boys and girls hug girls. Sometimes the kids will decide that they are boyfriends/girlfriends for a while. There a no talk about "inappropriate behavior". There are no monitors, and there are no teachers present during their breaks. If a child is hurt an older student will go get a teacher. And male teachers can hug girls, tickle them and whatever. I think the fear of "sexually inappropriate behavior" in the US is damaging to the relationship between boys and girls - and male teachers as well. Incredibly sad IMO.

[HollyBearsMom]

Ok I am 46 and chasing the boys/girls was a prime recess acctivity along with 4 square and tag. Doesn't seem like much has changed!

I remember when I was in first grade telling a boy that I was going to get my brother to sit on him so I could kiss him. he avoided my brother for weeks!!

It would break my heart to ahve ano touching rule at school. My son still runs and throws his arms around his pre-K teacher whenever he see her.

[DanishMom]

Originally Posted by meemee

kissing would fall under the realm of appropriate touching.

i am not trying to be snarky but why do you (i mean the universal you and not just amcal) all have issues with kissing? i just am not understanding it.

i mean yes by all means i would have an issue with it if my child hates it and the other child keeps doing it and wont stop. but to me that is more about respecting space. and even respecting others wishes, personal boundaries.

but if your child doesnt mind it why are you so against it.

[amcal]

It depends upon the kind of kissing.

My DD has been kissed at school and it hasn't been her choice and it wasn't out of affection. She was chased, cornered, told she was a princess in jail and while she couldn't escape, she was kissed.

It's this type of kissing that bothers me. DD wasn't traumatized by it but, it also wasn't a sweet, "I like you" kind of a kiss.

Now, if DD came home and said that a boy kissed her on the cheek - separate from any other power type play then I would have no issue with it.

[kriket]

Originally Posted by amcal

.
Now, if DD came home and said that a boy kissed her on the cheek - separate from any other power type play then I would have no issue with it.

Now while I agree that no one should be coerced into kissing. This is the time where out children should be defining this.

IE. if my little suzie came home and said that a boy forced a kiss on her, I would tell her that if she doesn't want to be kissed she should have said "No, do not kiss me, I do not want a kiss" If the boy still kissed her, she should tell a monitor.

I might also ask little suzie why she didn't want the kiss. Thats a different mother daughter converstation.

Plus, if little Jimmy doesn't learn now that he just can't get kisses from any girl he pleases Highschool is going to much rougher, the stakes will be much higher, and little Jimmy will be much bigger, smarter and more coercive.

[DanishMom]

Originally Posted by angelpie545

Wow. Talk about things being blown out of proportion. Most kids chase, hug, and kiss each other for fun. It's normal, age-appropriate behavior. Not that it's okay to kiss and hug when the other person doesn't want it, but overall, if it's mutual, it's not something that needs to be punished severely. It's good when boys and girls play together, in fact, IMO, essential. Their interactions and the way adults guide them affects their interactions with the opposite sex for the rest of their lives. Boys and girls need to learn how to handle one another, and what is and is not appropriate. Teaching girls to that kissing and hugging by boys is always wrong, is harassment, ext., is teaching the girl the victim mentality, and that boys are something to be feared. Society itself is like this, and I think that's a big reason for unfair, blanket, age of consent laws that mostly serve to punish teens for having sex and rarely protect children from being victimized.

I *do* recognize that sometimes, hugging and kissing is not appropriate in certain settings. Children do need to learn that there are limits to such behavior and that consent of the other party is needed. However, when incidents such as chasing and kissing are treated as criminal actions is where the problems start. If adults freak, then children will too. It teaches an unhealthy approach to sexuality and to affection. I think children should be free to hug and kiss their friends. Psychologically, humans of all ages thrive in affection and it's necessary to development. If we forbade children from showing affection to friends, how will they learn to properly show affection? They won't. They end up with the victim mentality, and that's dangerous.

Yes yes yes. Well said! My son's best friend is a girl at school. I'm so happy that they treat each other like human beings and not gender stereotypes. They hug every day. He hugs his other friends too (boys). How would children be able to form relationships as adults if they have no practice in having close relationships outside the family.

[amcal]

Originally Posted by kriket

Now while I agree that no one should be coerced into kissing. This is the time where out children should be defining this.

IE. if my little suzie came home and said that a boy forced a kiss on her, I would tell her that if she doesn't want to be kissed she should have said "No, do not kiss me, I do not want a kiss" If the boy still kissed her, she should tell a monitor.

I might also ask little suzie why she didn't want the kiss. Thats a different mother daughter converstation.

Plus, if little Jimmy doesn't learn now that he just can't get kisses from any girl he pleases Highschool is going to much rougher, the stakes will be much higher, and little Jimmy will be much bigger, smarter and more coercive.

I agree with you 100% and we do use those situations as opportunities for learning how to stand up for ourselves etc...

My post wasn't saying that I think those situation are horrible and life altering, I'm just saying that I have more of an issue with power play kissing as opposed to affection kissing.

[amcal]

Originally Posted by DanishMom

Yes yes yes. Well said! My son's best friend is a girl at school. I'm so happy that they treat each other like human beings and not gender stereotypes. They hug every day. He hugs his other friends too (boys). How would children be able to form relationships as adults if they have no practice in having close relationships outside the family.

I'm not seeing where anyone said that hugging shouldn't be allowed?

My kids hug each other, school mates, teachers etc... I think this is very common practice and allowed in most every situation I've encountered.

We've never encountered a "no touching" rule anywhere???

[DanishMom]

Originally Posted by amcal

I'm not seeing where anyone said that hugging shouldn't be allowed?

My kids hug each other, school mates, teachers etc... I think this is very common practice and allowed in most every situation I've encountered.

We've never encountered a "no touching" rule anywhere???

The OP talks about a no touching rule and several other posters do too.

[amcal]

Originally Posted by DanishMom

The OP talks about a no touching rule and several other posters do too.

I think I read that wrong then.

We too have a no touching rule - it's our own personal rule that you don't touch people who don't want to be touched.

I didn't understand that to mean that there is a formal no touching rule at school. If that's the case, then it is very sad.

[DanishMom]

Originally Posted by amcal

I think I read that wrong then.

We too have a no touching rule - it's our own personal rule that you don't touch people who don't want to be touched.
Of course - I would hope everybody have that rule - it has to do with personal space and boundaries - that's a different issue IMO.

I didn't understand that to mean that there is a formal no touching rule at school. If that's the case, then it is very sad.

Yes - it is sad.

[charmander]

Originally Posted by db1au

I have no problem with girls/boys chasing/kissing each other as long as the kids have no problem. Now if one or the other doesn't like it then there's a problem.

Yes to this.

I can't imagine my kids being at a school where there is a "no touching rule." My 5 y.o. DD is so exuberant and affectionate - she and her friends hug each other all the time - it's just natural for them at this age to show this kind of affection. I would hate for her to somehow think it is bad.