Ok, so I'm not sure of the best forum to post this in, but this should work
I had a meet and greet thing with three peds this past week. The practice is highly recommended by my midwife as having good docs and having extensive experience with e/ebf, intact babes, etc. I asked about vax, and my midwife said they'll likely give me some version of the party line on vax, but won't push the issue should I choose to decline as some docs might. So I felt I knew a bit what to expect.
The first two docs I talked with were wonderful. I got a really good feeling from each of them and discussed many issues of importance to me. I knew the vax thing would be the controversial one, but wanted to discuss that now, before committing to one, to gauge their attitudes, so I brought it up with each. Both made it clear that they do recommend most vax, but that some can be delayed, some are more important than others, etc. and that ultimately my educated opinion is what goes and they are not going to interfere with my making of these decisions in my child's interests. I also discussed some specifics of particular vaccines, as I had a reaction as a child to the DTP vax, and felt it important to discuss my concerns there, and mentioned that I will for sure be declining hep B, which they were supportive of.
The third doctor was extremely condescending and I got a horrible vibe from her. I could feel it as soon as she came in, just with the way she looked and spoke to me, but she was a different ethnicity and part of me sort of dismissed it at first, as perhaps a cultural difference, or that perhaps that was her normal demeanor and I was reading too much into it. But it just got worse from there. When I brought up vax, she said something like, well I can't make that choice for you, but I can and will try to explain to you why they are necessary. Which to me was like saying, these are necessary and I will do everything I can to make clear to you that this is the one right way to do things and if you deprive your child of these shots you are depriving them of something essential to their health. Part of it was her demeanor, but the word choice too- I mean, necessary? Am I overreacting or was that really blatantly disregarding my own knowledge and perspective? i realize I am not a doctor, and maybe if she really does believe that they are necessary it's her place as a medical professional to express that (and I am glad she was honest with me and I got a clear picture of where she stands), but at the same time I would not want my child seeing a doc who felt this way, and implied that selective, delayed, or skipped vaccines are "the wrong choice" and looked down at me for making those decisions case-by-case rather than just listening to her advice without doing further research.
And I said something to her about my basic philosophy as to what I am looking for in a doctor for my child, in that it is important to me to have a doc who trusts my intuition and my knowledge of my child, and is willing to be proactive if there is a problem and help work towards a solution. And she sort of paused, gave me this look, and then concludes the visit with, "Ok, well thanks for coming" and walks out.
Now, I know I can choose one of the other two docs, but they do work together, so in the hospital, whoever is on call that day is the one who will come see the baby, and while I'd see my chosen doc for regular visits and if she was available at other times, if I had a sick child I would obviously take whoever was available, and I don't know that I want to work with a doctor who I feel uncomfortable with. However, I also don't want to pass over docs that I really like and feel good about because of one that I don't, you know? I guess I have another appt scheduled with a family practice doc at an integrative medicine clinic, who I have heard good things about, so if things work out well with him, I may just go with him and not worry about the others, but if it doesn't work out, would you keep looking or choose a doctor you liked even if the practice had another doc whom you didn't?
And also, any input on male vs female docs (I don't know my child's gender, should this be a factor?) All the peds at that practice are women, and the fp I am meeting in 2 weeks is a man.
I had a meet and greet thing with three peds this past week. The practice is highly recommended by my midwife as having good docs and having extensive experience with e/ebf, intact babes, etc. I asked about vax, and my midwife said they'll likely give me some version of the party line on vax, but won't push the issue should I choose to decline as some docs might. So I felt I knew a bit what to expect.
The first two docs I talked with were wonderful. I got a really good feeling from each of them and discussed many issues of importance to me. I knew the vax thing would be the controversial one, but wanted to discuss that now, before committing to one, to gauge their attitudes, so I brought it up with each. Both made it clear that they do recommend most vax, but that some can be delayed, some are more important than others, etc. and that ultimately my educated opinion is what goes and they are not going to interfere with my making of these decisions in my child's interests. I also discussed some specifics of particular vaccines, as I had a reaction as a child to the DTP vax, and felt it important to discuss my concerns there, and mentioned that I will for sure be declining hep B, which they were supportive of.
The third doctor was extremely condescending and I got a horrible vibe from her. I could feel it as soon as she came in, just with the way she looked and spoke to me, but she was a different ethnicity and part of me sort of dismissed it at first, as perhaps a cultural difference, or that perhaps that was her normal demeanor and I was reading too much into it. But it just got worse from there. When I brought up vax, she said something like, well I can't make that choice for you, but I can and will try to explain to you why they are necessary. Which to me was like saying, these are necessary and I will do everything I can to make clear to you that this is the one right way to do things and if you deprive your child of these shots you are depriving them of something essential to their health. Part of it was her demeanor, but the word choice too- I mean, necessary? Am I overreacting or was that really blatantly disregarding my own knowledge and perspective? i realize I am not a doctor, and maybe if she really does believe that they are necessary it's her place as a medical professional to express that (and I am glad she was honest with me and I got a clear picture of where she stands), but at the same time I would not want my child seeing a doc who felt this way, and implied that selective, delayed, or skipped vaccines are "the wrong choice" and looked down at me for making those decisions case-by-case rather than just listening to her advice without doing further research.
And I said something to her about my basic philosophy as to what I am looking for in a doctor for my child, in that it is important to me to have a doc who trusts my intuition and my knowledge of my child, and is willing to be proactive if there is a problem and help work towards a solution. And she sort of paused, gave me this look, and then concludes the visit with, "Ok, well thanks for coming" and walks out.
Now, I know I can choose one of the other two docs, but they do work together, so in the hospital, whoever is on call that day is the one who will come see the baby, and while I'd see my chosen doc for regular visits and if she was available at other times, if I had a sick child I would obviously take whoever was available, and I don't know that I want to work with a doctor who I feel uncomfortable with. However, I also don't want to pass over docs that I really like and feel good about because of one that I don't, you know? I guess I have another appt scheduled with a family practice doc at an integrative medicine clinic, who I have heard good things about, so if things work out well with him, I may just go with him and not worry about the others, but if it doesn't work out, would you keep looking or choose a doctor you liked even if the practice had another doc whom you didn't?
And also, any input on male vs female docs (I don't know my child's gender, should this be a factor?) All the peds at that practice are women, and the fp I am meeting in 2 weeks is a man.
