Thank you Angelbee, for posting and being so transparent. It was very helpful to me to read this thread tonight.
I had a 2 hour-long nasty argument with my dh on the phone tonight (he works overnight tonight and can do this on nightshift). Many wives complain that their dhs don't understand that they just want to be heard and listened to, not have everything 'fixed.' I have the opposite problem; my dh thinks I want to be listened to and then figures his job is done. I even laid it out many any times-- I need you to FIX this, not listen; I would very happy to never ever have this discussion again! After much work, and frustration, expressing that I am not asking for a vacation or a fancy car, or jewelry, but a BASIC NEED like water or food or air, I uncharacteristically coerced him into retrieving his work schedule and writing in the times I will not be home, and he therefore will have to commit to being.
He learned that while it was a major improvement that he took the children out for four hours so I could vomit every twenty minutes or more, and that the time in between when I passed out doesn't count as 'rest,' this was a necessary action moreso than him giving me a 'break' from mothering duties. He wondered why after having thanked him when he returned home with them I would now suddenly be so ungrateful as to be so negative about his efforts to make break-times happen for me.
I am going out twice this coming week- Monday and Thursday afternoons. I am home with our children a minimum of 80 hours per week without a vehicle and in the woods in the winter. We live in a cabin with one bedroom and a dressing room and one big common room (24'x26'). It's cozy and beautiful, but cabin fever is a serious consideration!
Unlike many other dhs, though, my dh had to stay home last year to help because I was/am very ill, and had a baby in that time. He KNOWS what it takes to be home, and he found it completely exhausting even though I was there and still doing more than half of the work (which I reduced to the bare minimum or I wouldn't have been able to do it, and neither would dh have been willing- so NOTHING other than bare essentials).
Now, with this scheduled, my biggest contender is dh's job. If they schedule him for those days anyway (he is in a position where they can change it anytime and call him in at the last minute), he will have to risk being unavailable for my sake. He will have to put my health and well-being ahead of the shift and the $$ he could bring home with it. In other words, he'll have to stop spending it on movies and books and stay home instead. He won't lose his job; this is how it works.
Anyway, here's to all of us taking air and water and food for our souls!