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I'm going to try the Jay Gordon method

post #1 of 38
Thread Starter 
I'm at the end of my rope and utterly exhausted. My depression is deepening due to exhaustion.

I think DS2 14mo is of a temperament that will accept the Jay Gordon method without too much heartache and it's the only method I know of that seems realistic and in line with my attachment parenting beliefs. this method never would have worked with my super sensitive high need (but wonderful) DS1.

I'm thinking of starting tomorrow night so I can get my 'head' organized first.

Anyone else had experience with this?
post #2 of 38
No but I'm waiting for dd2 to turn one so we can start. Honestly, I am so freakin' tired, I am counting the days. I don't even want a full night, 4-6 hours in a row would work wonders.
post #3 of 38
I did day one with my daughter and I was surprised how well she did. There was some crying, but it wasn't too bad and she settled down after a short time (I wasn't looking at the clock, but it didn't feel too long so it must have been short!) I would have kept going but she caught a stomach bug and hasn't eaten any solids since so we're back to nursing all night so she stays nourished and hydrated. Once she's well again, however, we'll keep going.

I certainly can't give any testimonies after just one night, bu I say it's worth a shot. If it starts to make you uncomfortable you can always stop.

Good luck and I hope you get some rest soon!
post #4 of 38
Newbie here...saw this post and it finally got me to register so that I could reply. LOL

I used this method with my oldest when he was 2. He was a high needs babe, so that's why we waited until 2. I was at my wit's end with sleep deprivation and was rather dubious about whether or not I would ever actually be able to night-wean him. But it worked beautifully! Much better than I thought it would. He continued to nurse A LOT during the day, but he did that before the night weaning, too. At least I was getting enough sleep to recharge for it!

It's odd...my next 2 dc, I night nursed until they weaned(one at 18 months because I was pregnant, the next until almost 4yo because I was pregnant) and never had the issues that I had with my first. He wore me out. The other 2 didn't. Every child is so different!

Good luck!

post #5 of 38
Originally Posted by mommy2abigail View Post
No but I'm waiting for dd2 to turn one so we can start. Honestly, I am so freakin' tired, I am counting the days. I don't even want a full night, 4-6 hours in a row would work wonders.
I think Dr. Jay Gordon recommends not starting his plan until the child is at least 18 months... I just started looking into it for ideas for my "num num"-crazy 17MO, so I'm not sure what it involves or why he says you should wait...
post #6 of 38
Would someone give me brief rundown of his method? Never heard of him and would like to know. Is there a website?
post #7 of 38
Here is the link! I was thinking of trying it when DD is 15 months bc my DH will not be working(summer) so it wouldn't be so hard on him...
post #8 of 38
Thanks for the link! I just read through it and wow, that's almost exactly what I did with mine (especially #4 who is now 16 months old), and it truly does work!
post #9 of 38
Thread Starter 
Last night was the 1st night and it went well!

babe did cry a bit but it was only 3-5min and he was in my arms the whole time. It was an angry cry rather than a distressed one.

When I did let him feed as much as he wanted at 6am he really had a good feed and then went back to sleep (he usually gets up at 6am).

So far so good
post #10 of 38
We used his method for both boys and it worked well. ds1 we did it around 12 months and for ds2 around 15 months (each time I got sick while nursing on demand and the night weaning let me get enough rest to continue nursing). DH walked and rocked each of them through the tears. DS2 has been a lot harder to wean (we've been going through a tough spell now).

good luck
post #11 of 38
Originally Posted by mommy2abigail View Post
No but I'm waiting for dd2 to turn one so we can start. Honestly, I am so freakin' tired, I am counting the days. I don't even want a full night, 4-6 hours in a row would work wonders.
Haa haa!! I am right there with you. Co-sleeping with my 12 month twins who the past couple of nights have been squirmy (getting into crwal position) or wanting to nurse every 1-2hrs!!! Can't remember 4 hours in a row. I am thinking of trying Dr. Jay's method when the days get a little longer.
post #12 of 38
I did basically that method with my first son ... when he was 27 months old! :

My second is almost 9 months now and I don't think I will wait as long this time. I'm exhausted and I think both my kids will benefit by me getting more sleep. I will see how it's going in a few months and then decide when is the right time.
post #13 of 38
I'll have to look into this Jay Gordon method. I'd never heard of it before. I am nearing my witts end too. DD turns 1 in 2 weeks and is waking up anywhere from 3 to 10 times a night. At around 7 months we started putting her in her bed to sleep once she had bfed and was good and asleep in our bed. For the first few weeks she seemed to sleep for longer stretches doing that, but now I swear she is awake within 30 min. of me putting her down in her bed. I've tried rocking her, but she won't let me sit down with her. I've tried having my husband pace the floors with her, sometimes he could be gone for hours and since he's a helicopter pilot it's best he gets his sleep. And then last night after being up with her 2x an hour for 3 hours in a row I reached my breaking point. I finally just put her down in her bed, turned on her cd of lullabys, shut her door and went to back to my bed. Although I am totally against letting my own children "cry it out" I knew that last night the only alternative to it was that I was going to open up the window and toss her out into the snow. J/K She finally fell asleep after about 25 min of crying, which completely broke my heart. I know that she is not waking bc she is hungry, she is just wanting to nurse for the purpose of pacifying. Normally this wouldn't be as huge of an issue to me except that I am 8 weeks pregnant with our 4th child and I am completely exhausted. I feel as if I am truly beginning to get depressed due to lack of sleep. There are nights that I am awake with DD that I cry and cry and tell my husband I don't want this next baby (this wasn't a planned pregnancy). Once I've had some sleep I know I don't really mean that, but that's just the result of my extreme exhaustion. I'm going to try out that Jay Gordon method maybe. I'll let you all know how it goes.
post #14 of 38
To the OP: Did you try it? How did it go? I think I'm going to give it a try starting tonight (it's the weekend here so DH doesn't have work tomorrow a.m.) and hope for the best. We need sleep.
post #15 of 38
I am going to try it starting tonight too. My DS turned 1 last week and I am at my wit's end. We are co-sleeping and he nurses all night long. I cannot get any sleep with him waking every hour. When I realized today that this is having an affect on my marriage, my health (too tired to exercise), my friendships (can't leave the house after bedtime in case he wakes up), I realized this has to change. I am scared to death bc I hate hearing my kiddos cry and I know this is going to be soooo hard, but I have to try.
post #16 of 38
I did this with my oldest DD at 15-months. I stretched out the stages by a day or two but within 2-weeks we were golden. I couldn't even really tell you how awful it probably was. Love how things work like that.

I plan on using it again with my littlest DD when the time comes.
post #17 of 38
I did this with my son when he was 16 months. It worked super-well, especially because my husband took on the role of comforting him when he woke up.

Good luck!
post #18 of 38
Since finding out I'm pregnant and since my husband won't stop complaining about not being able to sleep with DD's nursing sounds (she is kind of a loud nurser), we've been experimenting with the Jay Gordon method. My 17MO still nurses 3 or 4 times a night (she would probably nurse all night if she had the choice). The method is not really working for us for a couple of reasons...

We originally went with Dr. Gordon's suggestion of not nursing for 11pm to 6am, but the timing is really not working for us. DD seems to really need that 4:30/5am feeding - so much so, that the couple times I have tried the backrubbing/cuddling instead, she decides that she'd rather just wake up then. Waking up at 4:30am is totally not working for me So I think we're going to move the timing around a little and see if that works better.

The other issue is that she's still waking quite a few times a night. She gets pissed for a few seconds when I say that "the num-nums are night-night", but as soon as I say "you want to cuddle and have rubs?" she's settles right down on my chest and points at her back for rubs. She is still waking up quite a few times at night for rubs though - which is actually more tiring for me than nursing since I can't just fall asleep while doing it. So now I feel like I've swapped the nursing for the rubbing, which doesn't help me at all. I'll have to do someone else's plan for weaning off backrubs!

I might just go back to nursing her since that never really bothered me to begin with (I'll just have to get my husband some earplugs - he's the major complainer about the night nursing, not me). I have noticed she's been more needy since I got pregnant, so maybe she's just not ready to night wean. I'll play it be ear...
post #19 of 38

Updates on your JGordon nightweaning approach?

Hi all -
I just wanted to revive this thread and hear how things are going for all the folks who had just started, or were about to start the Jay Gordon thing.

I was planning to wait a little more, and see if it was really absolutely necessary for us, but lately I have been so tired that I am actually sleeping through the early signs of my 13 month old son's wake-ups. He almost crawled off the bed the other night right over my sleeping legs. He wakes up or stirs for nursing so many times each night... sometimes hourly, or every 90 minutes. I get 2 continuous hours once a week, which always makes me think: I can do this, no problem, don't need to night wean. Til now.

Last night, through the fog, I just felt "ok, this is it." I want to night wean from 12 - 4. I really feel I could go a lot longer on the luxurious dream of 4 continuous hours each night. Hey, 3 would do, but why not go for the gold!

So - questions: anyone had success with this technique with the modification of walking the baby to sleep and putting him down without nursing? (instead of putting baby down awake)

When you do the first nights, and baby JUST WON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP with any amount of cuddles, walking, singing, dancing, rocking, etc etc -- do you just stay up? No nursing unless there's been a sleep interval, right? I'm willing, but at 3:45 I'd like a rule to remember so I don't have to try to think it all through.

Anyone had success passing baby off to dad for the final cuddling down steps?

What has worked? What hasn't worked? Experience, advice, reflections - let it rip!

Thanks so much!
-your sleepy friend, with hope
post #20 of 38

OK - here's MY update - still want yours!

Forgive me for trying so hard to bump this -- it's my obsession right now.
We had our second night, and while I got very little sleep, it was because I was holding so absolutely still because HE FELL ASLEEP WITHOUT THE BREAST. Holy smoking can't believe this is my baby wow!

First of all there was no wake up between 7 and midnight, which hasn't happened in 4 months. Then he woke up at 12:05 (testing me?) and we nursed briefly sitting up in bed. Then I pulled my shirt down and told him "Daddy's asleep, Mommy's asleep, Milk is asleep, doggies are asleep" etc etc, and though he squirmed and protested, there was no true crying, and we just snuggled and rocked right there on the bed, and soon I laid him down -- more snuggles and protests and then... snores! This happened again at 3 and at 3:55, easier each time (but the first time only took 15 minutes), and I was so happy to side lie nurse again at 4:15.

This morning -- cheerful, teething, totally normal, no grudge.

Please tell me about your progression through this method, your disappointments, surprises, etc.

Trying not to get ahead of myself with anticipation of sleep!
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