Would you send your girls?

[mrsjtc]

I'm new here but have a question for you all.

We met a new family at our church a few weeks ago (jsut before Christmas). I've met the dad at church and have had the mom and daughter at my home twice. She is always asking for my girls to come to her house. Tonight I got an email from her asking to borrow my girls for a playdate tomorrow afternoon. We homeschool and I am pretty much always with my three daughters. Always. And I like it that way (I believe they are our daughters to protect until they are old enough to know what is right and wrong. We haven't done sleepovers or anything likethat either)

So I don't know if its my over-protective Mama bear mildly-paranoid nature that is telling me to get to know the family a little better before I send my kids to their house or if I'm right in thinking that its a little much to ask for my girls without me.

Help?!

[SquishyBuggles]

How old are they? Why don't you go along on the playdate with them? I usually go along with my girls.

[JesiLynne]

Always go with your gut. No matter what!!!!!!!!

I would go with for a few times until you are comfortable ( and this is coming from a totally paranoid homeschooling mom)

[littlemizflava]

i would go...i have issues with leaving my kids with people i will always be like this so if you want them then you get me also:

[Lemon Juice]

Ita w/ the PP's. Go with them, that's what I do and would do, especially if I didn't know them that well. I would only let my children go to someone's home if I trust the other adult/family totally and completely. So I hear ya on that, you are right to be worried about sending them away to a house/home you don't know well. (no matter how old they are, imo )

We homeschool and i'm w/ my children all the time so I know how you feel. Just let the other family know you'd rather come along so you can all socialize and get to know one another.

[True Blue]

Go with your gut, it won't steer you wrong.

[mrsjtc]

Thanks ladies! I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. My hubby also agreed that if I felt uncomfortable to trust that.

My girls are 7,5 and almost 2. They are still young enough (and sheltered enough I guess) that they are very trusting of adults. I think that's a good thing but only in the hands of people that I trust completely, kwim?

I responded to the mom letting her know we are busy this weekend (which we are, not lying) but we'd love to come over one day next week.
Thanks again!

[MusicianDad]

I'd never let DD play at the house of a family DH and I don't know very well. I would suggest waiting if your not sure about them and you don't feel comfortable with not knowing the family.

[ilovebabies]

Ditto to what the other posters have said.
I would just go on the playdate with them and get to know the family MUCH better before I'd let my kids over there without me. Trust your gut.

[KBinSATX]

Are you sure they asked for the girls to come without you?
I mean when they came their mom came with them to your house.
No way would I just drop my kids off at somebody's house.

[becoming]

I wouldn't send them alone. We don't even send our 7-year-old on playdates/sleepovers without us and don't plan to for years to come.

[lab]

Originally Posted by mrsjtc

I'm new here but have a question for you all.

We met a new family at our church a few weeks ago (jsut before Christmas). I've met the dad at church and have had the mom and daughter at my home twice. She is always asking for my girls to come to her house. Tonight I got an email from her asking to borrow my girls for a playdate tomorrow afternoon. We homeschool and I am pretty much always with my three daughters. Always. And I like it that way (I believe they are our daughters to protect until they are old enough to know what is right and wrong. We haven't done sleepovers or anything likethat either)

So I don't know if its my over-protective Mama bear mildly-paranoid nature that is telling me to get to know the family a little better before I send my kids to their house or if I'm right in thinking that its a little much to ask for my girls without me.

Help?!

I don't let my 14 year old son go to people's homes unless I have been there. You've just got to get the lay of the land first......

[MG01]

I agree with pps- I would not feel comfortable just dropping them off, and would expect that you would want to get to know them better and/or come along for several playdates before even considering that arrangement. Plus, the fact that your instincts are telling you this is enough, imo, and should be listened to.

[Caneel]

I would ask the mom if it was ok to come along. Assuming she says yes (if she said no, she didn't want you there that would tell me something) take along a nice pound of coffee or tea and a snack. The two of you could use the time to get to know each other better AND you would feel comfortable having direct supervision of your children.

[Turquesa]

:

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by SquishyBuggles

How old are they? Why don't you go along on the playdate with them? I usually go along with my girls.

I would go with them.

[cappuccinosmom]

I never drop my kids off. I'm either there with them, or we don't go. If someone has a problem with me being with my kids, that's a huge red flag and we really don't go.

[mrsjtc]

Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom

I never drop my kids off. I'm either there with them, or we don't go. If someone has a problem with me being with my kids, that's a huge red flag and we really don't go.

I'm so glad you all agree. Her words in the email were "can I borrow your girls for a playdate? You could drop them off after ___(her child's) nap time. What do you think?" So it did sound like she didn't want me there and I thought that was odd.

I wondered if she thought I needed a break and just didn't know how to say it nicely? She hasn't known anyone else who homeschools or is with their kids 24/7, so maybe she thought I am overwhelmed. ?? I was a little caught off guard.

[Herausgeber]

How old is her kid? Her pushiness about this isn't cool. Is she pushy in general?

If they were my kids, I'd let a 5 year old and a 7 year old go to playdates without me -- if they requested it -- assuming I had met the parents and got a good vibe from them.

The number of people I will leave my 2 year old alone with is much narrower. Basically, some of her grandparents (not all of them), my brother, and a handful of close friends. That circle will grow wider the older she gets.

And I don't consider myself a paranoid person at all. I WOH full time and have always had child care, people I've chosen carefully and have full trust in. If someone gives me a weird vibe, I mind it, and don't feel remotely guilty about it. That doesn't happen too often.

By the time my DD is 5, at which point she likely will go to school, I hope that her experiences interacting with a variety of children and adults with me and DH at her side will equip her to make and trust her own judgments about people. Going on playdates, sleepovers, etc, without me or DH is something we'll consider when *she* asks for it. Even now, I take her preferences into account in our decisions about who we socialize with.

[mrsjtc]

Her dd is 2.5 yrs old. She is a little pushy I think. Very energetic, maybe more than pushy.

My 7 and 5 year olds have gone places without me plenty of times. But it is always to people we know and trust. They haven't started sleepovers yet, besides with family members. They haven't really asked or shown interest. They asked once but it jsut hasn't come together yet. The 2 older ones are very much homebodies and are most comfortable and happy when we are all home.

I emailed her asking if we could all over over together next week and she hasn't responded yet. Maybe she isn't up as early as we are so I'm not taking it as her being frustrated that I said no to the girls going alone.

Thanks for the opinions!