|When we were discussing the circe issue, I brought up (in a very gentle and caring way) that I had been with an intact man before, and it is very different for not only the man but also the woman. I don't want to take away my sons' and future partners full pleasure just so my dh is happy.|
I think your getting the response your getting from him because your reasons for not circ'ing have put him on defense. Defense of his beliefs on the male body, and defense of his body and being able to be a good (sexual) lover.
If he agrees to not circ because of your arguments, the only emotional place he has left to go, is where he admits he has been victimized, and has to say there is something wrong with his body.
This is your problem. Because if his circ has caused problems or not, he may not feel that way. From his perspective he may still be really happy with being circumcised, and at the very least its what he identifies with.
If you want this to lead to a positive ending for your whole family (which is important, because families, especially new ones should be united) you need to change your arguments.
Don't argue that one body type is better then another. Make this an argument of personal choice. Talk about the changing rates of circ and who knows what your son wants. And its no big deal, and he should decide.
Take the focus off making a decision, and say that by not circumcising all your doing is not making a decision now. Your putting that decision in the hands of your son.
Talk about early development of the penis, and how its a safe and healthy body part.
Unless you can find ways of making this NOT a value debate then in the end everyone is going to be left emotionally hurt. Also making it a value debate, gives him something to resist against. Make this a decision he will want to make, and not a debate where he feels he HAS to fight against.